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chi · (#38 (**permalink**))

realistic101 wrote:

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To your question
chi
it is just in general i feel this way. I mean maybe u can say i am surrounding myself with the wrong kind of people but these are the topics most blacks concern themselves with. I just want to feel desired in this society as a black woman.

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Do you mean desiredby fellow blacks or society in general?

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I'm not the type of person that asks for what i can't offer myself.I feel like black chicks are always last choice on the list. Have a conversation with your black male friends, they are the only ones with the answers for you.......as to if and why black chicks are at the bottom of the list....be prepared to listen to what they have to say

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If you want a man with goals your asking for too much or its intimidating when your the full package. Almost all my female friends have kids, I don'tand apparently something is wrong with mewaiting until marriage in the black community.

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I think it's just a western thing.......it cuts across races generally.

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Alot of these things just show the break down of black relations. Me wanting alot of these things wouldn't even be a question in the white community. Allthat says to me is your black take what you can get. I want to understand this. I work in corporate america and the people that try to cut my throat at the job are blacks. Instead ofjust being cool for the few blacks that are in the damn place.

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I definately agree with you there, the workplace is an education in itself....and many times those who dont wish you well will be fellow blacks...........the prospect of advancement scares some people.

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We don't pull each other in, its just pure venom with one another. Don't get me wrong all of my friends are black, educated, attractive but mentality wise most blacks are still behind on the subject of self love for our people and brotherhood.

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Broaden your horizons...........sometimes this "blackness" thing tends to consume people..........and it becomes unhealthy.

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Its not whining either this is the world we live in and what black people want to see. The new symbol of black beauty is now a mixed blackperson. As if tobe an attractive black person you have to be something else we adopt these feelings within ourselves and i am sick of it. I'm sure you know of dark peoplewho are and have been those "symbols" for the community, you cant expect to hold a monopoly when it comes to representing such a diverse group of people.....when the likes of Iman, Naomi, Grace Jones were championed as the ultimate symbol of black beauty, how do you suppose people who did not resemble them also felt about themselves? Maybe they were made to feel "sick of being black also" ....and so the world turns!

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Who is this new "symbol"? There are many images churned out......specifically by the white media (both dark and light) who are supposed to be our "symbols"............at the end of the day the black race cannot be represented by Alek Wek or Naomi alone( images put foward by the white media also)....they are not a complete representation of many (if not most)of us either, their images are just as excluding as some may find Beyonce or Halle to be. These people should be put into perpective...........they are doing their jobs and feeding their families, they can't be expected to be responsible for the self esteem of a whole race of women.

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. I feel very bitter about these things and i hate the fact that when i express myself to people i am considered too problack it's not that. That is just how it is.

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I understand that you may be frustrated....but please try and refrain from being bitter....bitterness is one of the most difficult things to cure yourself from.