Well, I need some help, everything seems so confusing to me. Iwent to an all male school before i went to the university and never really interacted with the females. I don't really know how to act around them, and i always find myself trying to please them, though always in the wrong way (paying for everything ).

The thing about going to the all male school is that when i finally started hanging with some females i became emotionally attached to them, and i can't let go, all day i think about her. In particular is this one mixed girl who is so confusing. She never seems like she can settle down, she is extremely outgoing and knows just about everyone and if not, she is willing to meet them. Shetalks about sex freely and has no problem with it. The thing is when she is not around i feel empty and alone, and when she is around i feel like i can't be with her, like she is on a different level. This girl though is NOT the one for me, at least i don't think she is. She is the total opposite of who i am, and she has been "around" if you know what i mean. Though she has a great personality andi love how she is always positive for the most part and fully of joy, like nothing can bring her down or stop her, I love the confidence she has it's so appealing. I on the other hand, i am a virgin in all aspects of the word. In fact i have never even kissed a girl. I am conservative when it comes to expressing my feelings, i feel like i don't want to burden anyone by telling them my problems and then expecting an answer from them. I tend to get down on myself, but I'm trying to change that. It's just that i feel somewhat complete when she is around, and if we could start a relationship i would feel whole.

But this is the problem, this is the only girl i have been around, i think i could feel this way about any girl who i get to spend some time with. I've never had a real girlfriend before and i think thats what I'm missing in my life. I don't know if i should ask her out and ruin our friendship or continue to wait for "the right one", some would say the only way to find the right one would to be dating people to find what you like and dislike in a relationship.

Idk what to do, should i date a lot to find the right one, or just hold back and wait for the best to happen? and is this worth ruining one of the few friendships i have?

Also she said she hears about how all of her friends boyfriends but their gilfriends stuff and she doesnt want that, how can i shoe her without being blunt about being able to please her in other ways. I mean why she i have to blurt out what i can do for someone.

I'm confused this is a confusing post, sorry to waste anyone's time, but i really need a girl, it's killing me inside i feel so empty and alone...