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Gmahogany · (#32 (**permalink**))

eskay wrote:

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LOL!! Don't get me started! @ GM..

I think Kunjufu had a real point about people not realising what they had until they lose it. I know someone that is currently going througha divorce (been married 3 years). He still won't get into exact details of what 'he' did. But whatever it was got him a criminal record (some type of harrassment charge), woman left him and lives in another country now. I think they have been seperated about 6-9 months and he's sorting out the whole 'take her name off bills, joint account, house deed etc. Anyway, intially he tried to palm off it off as not a big deal to me. Once he opened up tho... man is depressed, and I mean clinically, hardly eats, won't go out, won't meet anyone apart from his family and few friends. Torments himself daily with love songs of the most horrible kind, writes her daily emails or letters..so much so, she thinks he's too intense, unstable etc. He is in serious type 3 (Romeo/Juliet love). This man is good looking, works hard, sensible etc.. but more I talk to him, more I think, she just might have made the right decision, in that ..his 'type of love' is obsessive, complusive and simply.. suffocating.. but try telling that to a man thinks life doesn't mean anything without 'her'.

He is absolutely convinced she is the one, and cannot see beyond this 'sufferation' as he calls it. Says he would do anything to have her back etc.

Me.. I think he is in love with the idea of love, as he talks about needing to be with his 'soulmate' etc, but I doubt he has a clue how to go about loving anyone but himself in the 'unconditional' sense. He is very self-absorbed, and very controlling, and very moody. All three, would put me right off as a woman!!! I am hoping therapist he is seeing will get his head straight not only for himself but for next woman!!

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Sounds like that woman got out of that situation, not a moment too soon,lol. I dont want ANYBODY loving me so much that they don't wanna live without me(not in the nice I want u in my life way, but in the stalker/if i cant have u,no one will, way). If they decide to stop living,because of the breakup, that means I gotta go too,lol.

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Ur on the money about some people being more in love with the idea of a thing, than the actual thing in real life. Its not even about the other person. If u check the history of someone like that, ALL their relationships have an obsessive quality, that's just what they do. Plus, I think men generally speaking, tend to be a little more disconnected from their feelings, which is why they often don't know it was love, til after the woman has had it up to the eyeballs with them, and doesn't even want to talk about things..I hate to quote R Kelly, but it's like his song 'when a woman's fed up'.