but perhaps diasporianstend to be more passionate about Africa because our living conditonsare around whites, whereas continental Africans are not -

Soul searching.

Being filled with european ideals and schooling which can sometimes be derogotary to us we feel the need to root ourselves firmly to off the 'attack' on our culture and understanding. If I were a follower I'd belive that black history is slavery and nothing more especially as I had a private english education.

There are also problems with parenting that many disporans go through (Post traumatic slave syndrome prehaps) leaving a gap when it comes to understanding oneself, there are too many of us who DON'T feel passionate about being African and are left in a cultureless void to the point of denial, sometimes causing mixed race relations becausesome don't know what it 'means' to be black, following steroypes and misconseptions feeling as though they aren't black because they don't talk and use slang or are intellects and thats a white thing. Self denial. To further yourself in Europe is to be as much like them as possible, assimilation.

Whenever family members from JA move up to the US, at first, they seem to almost disbelieve us when we tell them of the barriers and the Yank born ones get alot of flack for being "hypervigilant" and sensitive...that is until they get their first taste of "otherness" and you see the realisation dawn on their faces.

IMAO!

Jamaicans feel funny toward us British born JAs, some even hate us out here, I think they acceptAmericans more. I had some trouble with a few who came over and moved into my area, to them I was ''saaft'' (soft)and they took about calling me the English yout,messing around really, I was only 17 and they were like 26. They messed up things with my girl which I wasn't happy about but as time went on they slowly slowly came to realize what its like in England and the realization hit their faces... almost literally... the main taboois about the JAs who left for England and didn't ordon't go back. Thats the main cause of it all really. Wasn't long before they were talking about how they couldn't go back to their home town cause their people knew they had been working and had money. The hills ok, but when you're from Spanish town JA or Kingston and you come to England to work, going back offers a diffrent experience. No British Jamaican walks the streets of Tottenham for example and talks about a planned holiday trip to see family in JA... You just DON'T do it.

''Yeah man, me a gawn bak a yard... 25th me a leave, yah man, kingston airport me a der su, ummm hmm, 2pm star, you ave car? Nuff luggage me a carry''

Lessens your chances of getting past the airport with your luggage trust me... Not as bad as it used to be though. When they see how tough it can be in the UK with the taxes, general mistrust of anyone with a carib accent they soon pick up, some loosing the accent to fit in and make things easier.

Its not so much them that feel the need to root themselvescause they don't have the identity issue, its the second generations thatfight to know themselves and becomepassionateabout back home.

Starts with the forms asking where you're from, getting confused between being Carribean, English, and british, not wanting to BE Britishbecause of past (and on going) diffrences, reading books about slavery and getting bored, hating Europe/ans... listening to moms Buju, Capelton and Scratch lee perryLPs, becoming Rasta and not eating pork(cultural grounding, ''we're not like them'').. hearingabout Ethiopia as the birth place of man, not really too sure about Hallie being Jesus but he was in line with K.David, wanting to know where your people were shipped from in Africa to then understanding the struggle worldwide. All with the help of a few Hip hop CDs along the way. Thank god.

Not being able to trace back your family tree sucks,the knowledge of your family goes back to a slave traderleaving youtrying to see where he shipped his stock from.

I guess that sometimes it ends up witha casting off, a rejection of European ways and customs to undo whats been done.

They couldn't beat the black out of us put it that way.