I am in the same quandrary as its really my surname that I not neccesarily detest but do detest if it makes sense. The surname is linked to the f**ker who enslaved my ancestors and to me personally is the one link that I think should be severed more than anything else.

Equally your first name is as Kunjufu said/ is what your called all the time/ so it has equal importance if not more. But for some reason I find the surname more and more a thing I cannot deal with and is a unresolved part of my life which needs to be addressed.

My children can change their name if they like... Sistren makes a very valid point that its not so much a imposing but aduty (if I interpreted you correctly).It is with great regret that we named mychild aEuropean name..at times I feel I failed him in not being more culturally aware or not placing the utmost importance in his first name. And its not like I was ignorant to the facts at the time. In my defense the power of white norms and culture is great over us /even those that are more aware of the facts at play.

DNA tracing for the the source of a name is a great idea and I will explore it. Even as Mez says Africans have been migrating up to the last century.. so the names that proliferate in one district may not come from that place anyway. But that holds for all of the worlds continents still.

On top of all that my sister in law by chance last week/ picked up a letter a lady had dropped in a bankqueue/ which had my surname. When she ask where your family come from its the same district as my father. Damn its a wicked ting when you realise that they may be family or/ our ancestors shared the same fate on the same platation...??

Going off at a tangent how would you approch such a situation if they are not family. Should the common link to a terrible time be a source of empathy now between us now?In a place like America you probably had 1000s of names which are the same/ scattered across that vast country. In a small island like Jamaica chances are that same surname in the same district means your families histories are linked.

Im going to phone her tonight anyway and pursue the mystery since my brother aint too interested..