Nights are torture. I see myself lying next to you..i can feel you relax..sleep.. gently breathe against the back of my neck.
Your toned..strong muscular mahogany arm enveloping me..protecting me.

We boast of a great whirlwind of a romance..different backgrounds..different outlooks..one great love.
One great love- made up...pretended..finished.
My emotions run back and forth. I love you and cant stand you inbetween breaths.

As you put me on this pedestool to only leave me on it.Im close to dropping and your not there to grasp me from mid air.
The air that fills my distant soul.Beneath my heart above my stomach. the emptiness is oddly filling. It pangs with images of other great "loves".. bitterness becomes sweet honey but im full

You would rock through me and take me to heights you've only seen
yet i urged for more.You think uve seen heaven until you realise that you were never there. what a cover up. The sheet of clouds has been ripped down to
display an unloved garden.

Im not sure what emotion will come out when i see you next..Rage.. desire.. a juxtoposition of the two. I havent see you to put across the fury.
I will do my best to not beg.. to barter for your heart
Maybe i dont love you ..maybe i love the idea of you..

Days have dragged on. nolonger check my phone to see a miss call or txt even,
it will be the way i left it.
Chargin in the wall .. no calls for it to play my heart song. This isnt depression its a loneliness with a lack of understandin
use to be a strong woman..provisions for my other half. Petrol..clothes.. food.. cigarettes...space..caramel skin..flexbility ..lady in the street..

Im just looking for a way out. this maze of you and i is unfinishing. I cannot stay in the house..but i cant leave either.

Promises are a comfort to a fool... and i encompass my label.

I hope this is a process of healing.