it boils down to start-up capital, Lion. I didn't have enough of that but, with the needs of my situation controlling my decisions, I decided to take a gamble/risk. I have self-published twice before in mainland Europe and was confident I would cope.

I found out too late I could not. my new England life situation stood in the way...

internet orders never take longer than a week to arrive, even international ones. I could have held out and made a week and a half if all else had stayed in place, but a few missteps and mishaps found me in a situation where it became obvious I wouldn't be able to make even two weeks. in the end, my customers come first. some of the people who placed orders were known to me, including authors of similar pieces.

it was better to disappoint by giving back their money and try something else than procrastinate for a distant buck.

I do not see how I could have put across what I did in this piece in a much more effective manner than to be in large part personal. there are a lot of good reasons for this, amounting to killing a few birds with one stone. it's about making a choice between the manners in which a story can best be told. if I can portray the message better using a particular style then bringing attention to myself is the least of my concerns, if you get what I mean. even with that said this is far beyond mere choice of literary style (first-person or third-person narrative). there is also no attempt to be autobiographical since that can be arranged anytime.