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Madam Butterfly · (#53 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by brown skin

i came to a point in my life a while back where i decided that i dont want to have kids. i love my freedom and i dont want to be tied down with kids nor do i want the responsibility of raising kids. im heterosexual and in my 30's and people always freak out when they find out i dont have any kids. i sometimes get rude questions or comments. why does society make it seem like every woman must have or at least desire to have kids?

To a large extent i understand where you are coming from. I am unlikely to ever be in a relationship, ergo i am unlilely to ever have children. This is a fact i had come to terms with in my teen years, though now at the age of 29 it does start to niggle me.

But i am trying to accept that my life will probably be a chuldless one, unless i adopt. And i am trying to come to terms with that fact. When people ask if i want children my automatic response is "no" as i know what hard work they can be and how 100% selfless you must be to raise children. I am not there yet and not sure i ever will be.

Plus i have two nephews and my job involves me being around kids all day everyday, so my feelings have nothing to do with not liking/loving children. God knows i love some of them like they were my own!

Its just that a life without a biological child of my own is fast becomng a reality for me, so i need to see the advantages to that, rather than spend every night sobbing into my pillow about it.

Besides, not everyne is cut out to be a parent, and if you already kow that about yourself, then you are to be congratulated. You would only have a child end up lining the pockets of psychiatrists lol

For those that have children/want children and enjoy it, then that is a beautiful thing. I only wish ALL parents felt the same way about their children.

We really shouldn;t be enouraging someone to do something as important as having/raising children if their heart is obiously not in it. It is the most important job in the world and under what other circumstance would you encourage someone to do something so important that their heart just was not in?