I have seen this sort of situation played out so many times, even in primary schools.

Remember back in the day when we would have got a beating just because the school contacted home, regarless of who was right or wrong.

During my sons first parents evening, we told the Headmaster, deputy, house head and all individual subject teachers that if there was any issues, no matter how slight with our sons behaviour towards them they were to phone us on the day and inform our son what we had said. We even gave each of them contact numbers. But since then there have been a couple of incidents that have made me wish we hadn't been so insistent.

Just a couple of weeks ago I recieved a call from a very very young (and I picked up nervous teacher) Apparently my son had been "s******ing at him". As I wasn't at work that day and the school is literally across the road I told him I would be over during their break period.

Turned out that an incident had occured between the teacher and another pupil that the whole class had found amusing and had openly laughed at. My son knowing better had attempted to surpress his amusment resulting in him 's******ing'

To be honest I had to bite my tongue not to laugh myself and tell the man not to phone me again on any account, but my son was present. I did however have a word with the head about the teachers behaviour. Clearly he had lost control of a situation and his only source of power was getting my son into trouble. Who had nothing to do with the incident. What I found interesting was that although he had both mine and his fathers contact numbers he only phoned me. Even though we'd made it clear that we were not a couple and we were both to be contacted seperately.

Talking to my son later that evening it was clear that my son had lost respect for the teacher. I had to explain to him how some teachers (particularly young recently qualified middle class) were intimidated by black youths in inner city schools and how this impacted on them. We had a good talk that night and I learnt a lot from him about many of the teachers in his school.

In another incident during his first year at school he'd recived detention from a Black teacher. The school sends out a sheet for detention with box's to tick explaining the reason for the detention for example; lateness, no homework, poor homework, behaviour ect.

Anyway this one teacher had ticked practically every box and my son was adament that it was just over homework. So I phoned the school and asked the teacher call me back. Which she did within an hour but I missed the call and informed the school to get her to phone me back again, practically giving my work rota.

A week later and several calls this teacher had still not called me back. The deputy was all apologetic telling me that it was unusual for this teacher. Anyway end of week I am passing the school at the end of the day so decieded, if the mountain won't come to Mohammed. 25mins later this teacher comes down to reception with another Black male teacher as escort to speak to me, while the head and deputy were loitering in the office(think I didn't see them) Clearly they were expecting trouble.

You could see the relief in them when I came across all friendly and apologetic for just turning up. But explained that if my son was to be punished at home I needed to know what it was he'd done. Turned out that it was just over homework and she'd got pen happy ticking the boxes. But I had to reasure them with my banter that I was not the tyype of parent to fly of the handle before I got that out of her.

In this years parents evening we have decieded to have a talk with all the teachers as to what we consider contactable offences LOL