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Villager
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Posts: 219
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: , ,
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29-03-08, 09:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maat
lithium,
It's a shame that you had the misfortune of experiencing this. As wrong as an affair/unfaithfulness is, it's always a symptom of an underlying problem in a relationship and is not the only thing that can happen as a result of the underlying problem. You feeling remorse for it in itself is something - a lot of people don't even seem to realize the wrong in the action. Whatever what many would say, in my opinion anyone in a relationship is at risk of being unfaithful no matter how much they would like to think they wouldn't!
As hard as it may be right now, please try not to beat yourself up anymore and don't encourage others to do the same by passing their own judgement on you. Many will be more than happy to oblige which will only make them feel better but not you. There's no point making the situation worse.
It's good that the relationship with the other man has ended and it would be best for you NOT to have any more contact with him - no matter how hard it might be.
All you can do now is come to terms with the distance (if that is the main problem) from your husband and find other ways to get whatever you are missing - obviously not intimately though. Do you have any female friends or relatives you can talk to in confidence for emotional support without them judging you? If so maybe some time with them is what you need or at least until your husband comes home.
As for telling...well it's up to you but you need to gather your thoughts first. Personally I would want to know if my husband had cheated but the question is can you live with the guilt if you don't tell him? If you do tell him then you need to be prepared for the consequences whatever they may be and know that the ball is then is in his court - so to speak.
I hope things work out for you whatever the outcome.
Good luck!
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Beautiful response.
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