Why are you not willing to share the fact that you deny that there is a God? I know that it is your right to not do so but it seems as if you feel somewhat stymied and unable to be upfront with people.

It reminds me of the time when I began to speak and pray in tongues. I was afraid to tell my mother and father about it. finally I did and after they asked me why and I gave them scriptual evidence to prove that tongues is for today they were still angry for a while but they soon got over it.

Tongues has nothing to do with salvation so I do not press the issue with anyone, but I use the gift as necessary and when i choose to.

I personally don't think atheism is right but it is your right to choose that. if you were my friend or child i would not press you but pray to the Living God that He would make time and space available for you and I to chat and allow me to plant seeds of truth before you and then allow them to be nurtured, watered and harvested by God.

I do understand how you must feel, I think it was Paul speaking in Romans the 10 the 2nd verse about religious zeal that is not according to knowledge.