I have been seeingthis new guy, but some of the things he does REALLY bother me.This guy is an artist and i have known him for a couple of months. I met him on an elevator and he said he liked my facial structure and he wanted me to model for a painting of his. I was like hmmmm, ok so i gavehim my number and he gave me his card. Anyway, i meet up with him and it ends up being at datebecause hereally didnt domany scetchesof me. Hes kind, hes a gentlemen,and he treats me really well,butthere isjust a few problems.:XEven though i have only known this guy for a short time, he acts as if we have been a couple for years. He always wants to hold hands, cuddle all the damn time. For example, we were sitting in the movie theater together and for the ENITIRE three hours of the movie he was constantly fiddling with my hand, laying his head on my shoulder, trying to pull me close to him etc. Almost everyphrase that comes out of his mouth is: "awwww baby you're so pretty" , "awww baby you're so special" awww baby you're so sweet". Every time i say something he sort of laughs and says "awwww baby you're so sweet". Baby this baby that, it annoys me to no end!!!bignoItshe like hes treating melike a daughter and a girlfriend at the same time.
I have talked to him and told him that at this time i only want to be friends, but he doesnt listen. He keeps on trying to fondle me, hold my hand, kiss me, and act like we are a couple.One ofthe things that disturbs me themost is the factthat hes alreadytalking about marriage.We were sitting in the car together and one day he came across an old friend from his country. He put his arms around me and told the guy " this is my wife".(this was only a few weeks after ive known him)Some weeks later in response to something i said he laughs and says" one day i am going to marry you".I asked him how he can be so into me and be barely knowme and he responded "so far, so good"I suppose one of the main reasons why I dont want to get into a relationship with him is because this guy is old enough to be my father. Hes in his late thirties and Im not really liking the idea of getting into a relationship with an older man at this point in my life. I have been in a relationship with an older male before(not nearly as old ,as this other guy but a good 7 years older)and it didnt work out.

But like i said before, he is a nice guy so im at loss as to what i should do about him. I dont want to cut him off completely because im afraid that i'll really hurt his feelings as he seems to be infatuated with me, he always says " baby you drive me crazy" and " you're the perfect woman for me".But i have tried to tell him i want to be just friends and he doesnt listen.a way its nice to have a guys that really into to you, but at the same time its a bit creepy that he talking about marriage in only a couple of weeks of knowing him. I have been struggling back and forth with myselfaboutthis guy andI really need to vent.

LMAO @ Dm....I so know what you mean..but to be honest that trait must have crossed the ocean because i know a few Carribean men who do the same thing, especially when dem looking 'stay'..

Libriangirl: You're not going to like my advice sorry ..but here it is for what its worth...

You are as they say trying to be in CHURH & CHAPEL at the same time, ie you're trying to have you're cake and eat it...

Clearly you did not put down clear markers from the outset of your involvement with this man. You then clearly compounded the issue by giving in my view mixed messages, by effectively dating the man more than once. Clearly you're not into him, so god knows why you took up with him in the first place.. Now you're still giving mixed messages by trying to be nice, dropping subtle hint in the hope he will get it and back off...NOT A CHANCE!!!

Sorry Liberian girl but you are totally at fault, did you notice when you took his card that he was somewhat older than you?

But that aside What to do eh?

Ok here's a tip from a mans point of view.... MEN don't get hints, they don't get subtlety and they definately don't get body language.. Sorry but you're going to have to be the BAD guy and TELL HIM.. the saying scrambled eggs & breaking eggs applies here.. Once you have told him, do NOT be his friend, budyy, girl or anything else...cut all ties and go about your business..Better for him and your sanity I suspect..

Do it now..the longer you leave it, play around the subject or pretend..the worse his reaction will be when you eventually do get fed up and kick him to the kerb. So tek yu tings now tell him and then lock it off.. If you don't, don't say you weren't warned ok..

"Don't go away mad just go away".

Thats a good line, thanks for that....I can't wait for the day that I can use that one, lol.

LB, I can't give you any better advice than what men have given you, get rid of him he sounds like a sweet talking faker to me and because he's older than you he's taking your youngness for dumbness lol, get rid and tell him to lose your number, if he's "fallen" for you this quickly he won't have any trouble "falling for someone else, don't feel bad I suspect its all a lotta long talk!!!!

Ras

Yep I agree fully with DM and Kunjufu, esp. this:

If you ain't into him then there is no point keeping him around

That I think is the crux of it.

@Liberian girl
When I first started reading your post I thought 'here goes another ungrateful sistah giving a brotha a hard time', because I like men that are not afraid to hold my hand in public and things like that. However as I carried on reading my skin started to crawl as I know the type you are talking about, ('I tink i might have known yu from sumwah befor!!!!) it is funny how we earn the title of 'wifey' very soon after meeting these men. You (speaking generally) then become a show piece and when out on dates he has to make half a dozen stops at all of his friends houses before getting to the restaurant. LOL

It appears to me that this man is coming on too strong too soon which for many women especially me is a bigass turn off. I mean chill the heck out, and as he is so much older than you as well just adds to the perversion and disgust. He is not a good example for some older men who are quite the opposite, he may just be excited to have a 'young' girl, because if memory serves me correctly you are of school age or there about?... so what was the attraction to this old man in the first place?

I would tell this man to take a chill pill and bow out, his infatuation with you maybe purely down to your age and sex.

lmao - you story is funny though, don't stress lil sis, just leave, unless you have some feelings for him?

Why keep seeing him if his age and traits bother you that much? If youfeel he is too old for you, why bother even going on subsequent dates with him?And why refer to this situation as a relationship if you don't plan on being more than friends? confused3

By the sounds of this, you don't really know what you want.

Aaaaahhh! Im kinda in the same situation, xcept the guy is younger and he works for me! Memba the best friend thread?(Check my post) Thats him!

He bugs the hell outta me....yet I genuinly hold great affection for him.

I know...I shouldnt mix buisness with pleasure...but I got caught up and thought it could work...Now Im weary of dropping him as he may react badly and not wanna work for me no more. Plus hes excellent at his job.

THIS GYAL YA SOUND LIKE EEEDYAT!!!

SHE 'AVE BREDDA WEH LUV SHERASS BUTSHE NUH USE THIS HAPPATUNITEE FI MEK LOVE 'AN PERPETRATE SHE RACE BY POPPING OUT NUFF LIKKLE AFRICANS!!!!!!

SHE MUSSY LESBIAN TUUUU RAAAASCLAAAAAT!!!!!

And you must be gay if all you have to contribute is advice about popping out babies by anyone and being a sperm donor to everything. From day dot all you seem to talk about is how many kids you have with numerous women, like that’s something to be proud off………..

Please, I bet you ain’t even got balls; probably been beaten off by some animal while attempting some weird act on it.