OK i need some advice/ your thoughts

well theres this guy and he told me some months ago that he liked me and i said sure lets start dating then i would tell him les be friends then id change my mind again. i did this three times- he counted out each occassion to me.

well now my heart and my mind are in unison and i truly do want to build somethig with him but he said that each time i hurt him and that each time he believed me again and that he feels that i will change my mind again which would not be good for his sanity so he said even though he still likes me it thinks its best that we just be friends.

i tried explaining to him how i felt and why i was scarred but his not having it.

now im hurting badly and i really do see the beauty in him and in who he will be.

guys do you agree with his decision and what can a lady do to prove that this time she knows what she wants and its you?

ladies please feel free to add your comment



soul

Short Answer: is yes I agree with him, I think if anything you are being somewhat selfish in expecting him to suddenly throw away his well founded anxiety about you, and trust you unconditionally.

Personally I think if you really want this man, if your really serious then you now have to PROVE yourself and EARN his trust..the onus i'm affraid is firmly in your court...

Sorry (argh i hate being negative) but emmm sis if he likes you and i mean really, really likes you he will give you one more chance. Especially if you were sincere when you spoke with him. I am being real i just never known a man who will pass up a relationship with a woman he likes just to remain friends. If he was as hurt as he claims i would think he would try and avoid you all together.

Maybe he changed his mind and really just wants to be friends.

blkthumbsdownSorry to be frank, but if I was the guy I'd just cut you loose altogether becausethat's justsome bullshit you're on. Life is too short for that kind of foolishness.

"Yes.....I mean, no....I mean, yes....er, no actually...." He's worrying about his sanity but I'm surprised he's not questioning YOURS.

Moro Naba wrote:

Harsh...too harsh..lmao

If I was him you'd be lucky to get second chance! But I'm not so I'll say that IF you really mean it this time then you'd havea lot of convincing to do. Only he can decide whether to have you back but you must understand if doesn't right?

What you should do is sit yourself down in nice quiet corner and reflect on seeing things from his perspective. If you can't see how hurt HE was about your indecisions then I'd advise you NOT to even think about begging him to take you back.

Soulunique - Indecisive?; you're not Libran by any chance?

I still maintain the dude changed his mind. I would expect to hear "I can't be around you, followed by a skidding sound of car speeding away" from a man who is hurt and definitely not lets just be friends.

Maybe i am the one with the problem and guys do choose to be "friends" with women they like.

Barf!!

Abissinia wrote:
LOL. Yes they do.

Maybe he enjoys her company, but doesn't want the hassle she gave him or the expectations she built up.

well have you tainted yourself whil you were away from him? if so why do you think your entitled to be allowed back into his life..

I personally wouldnt take you back...afterall if you dash him again me may kill you.

@BB

Ummm argh i want to say i believe but my stubborn mind refuses :X.