I have a friend who is 19yrs. she believes she cannot get a job because of rascism etc. she doesnt seem to want to start from the bottom and work her way up. she had a cleaning job which her family got her but didnt want to do basic cleaning stuff like loos etc. the cleaning job was nhs offices and kitchens. a few hours a day max 4 evening and so she didnt have to wake up early and her job was so basic she could finish early.

i want to prove to her that she can get a job. but she needs to humble herself. she has that "i dont care attitude" and a real bad vibe. she doesnt seem to grasp the fact that you must smile in the face of adversity and humble yourself sometime to get what you want.

to be honest she can at times look like a black chav. big ol bamboo door knocker earings that touch her shoulders. piercings tc etc. if you wanted to see a stereotype or caricature it would be her. her family have lectured her galore to no avail.

i am not going to give her a lecture. i just want to look into some jobs and her application forms. not sure where to start.

what would you do if you wanted to help someone like that...
what jobs should i present to her to apply for

Ladyday...your friend sounds a lot like a male cousin of mine. For years he blamed everyone but himself for not finding a job and also like your friend, he did odd jobs but kept moving on. Whenever he came to me, i refused to lecture him, but i encouraged him to talk. However, he never did and he just moaned, and as time went by, i realised that it was his self esteam that was the problem. And i think that could be the case with your friend. You can look get her application forms etc, but if she is not feeling good about herself, then she will just phuck it so she doesn't have to face interviews.

I know you don't want to lecture her as her family is already doing that....but talking to her about the way she TRULLY feels about herself is important. If she refuses to talk, there is no much you can do. Perhaps it's the age....

Also, is she still living at home? That could be a contributor, because it makes her feel like she doesn't really have any responsibilities in regards to bills etc.

yes she still lives at home and her mother is struggling to make ends meet

I suggest that you ask her what she would employ herself to do, and on what basis.

Knew a brotha just like this. Had a thousand jobs in ten years but no career. These people will always talk about never wrking for a whiteman again and all that bull...still, he drives mini cabs now and fronts with ligali...makes you wonder what these people tell their kids...you sure as hell know they aint telling them to become mini cab drivers.

Still, one thing he did say which is very true. A strong family structure and infrastructure helps. Many of my peers growing up couldn't afford to go for a higher education as the parents wanted them to bring money into the house asap and simply prepared them to be factory fodder to the system. Also parents who try to enforce and ram eduation down your throat can be a serious detrrent when as an individual you need to learn at a pace streamlined to bring out the best of your ability in the most efficient time.

It's all about getting employed in spite of racism not because racism doesn't exist and the more credntials the better - I've hit many a glass ceiling where my shortcoming was not having a degree. Education is relatively frree in the UK, make the most of it and worse case they are universally recognised, you can take and use them almost anywhere.

Self blame is the key to resolution, I wouldn't give anyone the privilege of blaming them for my shortcomings, they're not big enough to merit such an accolade which has so much control on my future and state of consciousness. If I reach 80 years of age and made nothing of my life, I won't be blaming Tony Blair I'll be saying 80 years and in all that time I couldn't dedicate 5 of them to getting an education - it was pure weed, wine and women!!

Listen Louie Culture - Lucky thing I didn't live on eye-top for somebody to squint and my show to flop!

also very pertinent, not everyone was supposed to be an academic, maybe my man was meant to be a mini cab driver full stop...if he's humble enough he can admit this. Got too many people who feel like they are just entitled to things without paying their dues and in many cases without the ability to pay their dues.

Listen to the lyrics to the song Life by Bob Andy especially the verse about if everyone should be the boss. This is where unity is key because in a united people the road sweeper and the mini cab driver are just as essential and significant as the lawyer and the doctor ready to trade collectively with the rest of the world knowing the unit can hold its own. We all have our part to play, we've just got caught up in all the hype where individualism means whe get our kicks and our highs from being able to point our fingers and our worth is defined by how much money we earn.

Still remember this, generally speaking, a man with a trade can do anything a man without one can but the man without a trade can't do what the tradesman can.

If everything in life was right
Then we would never have to fight
So if we never used the brain
Then only carcass would remain
If man had never used his hands
Then he could never understand
The joys of making this and that
Like winning money from the slot

Forget about stupidity
Discover your ability
Develop your creativity
Cultivate humility
To brave the stormy weather
Oh my brothers
And heed my foolish words

You see the more you give to life
Is the more you're gonna get from life
So go on and give
Don't count the cost
And the less you give to life
Is the less you're gonna get from life
So save your dough
And your soul might be lost

If every man should be the boss
There'd be no one to groom the horse
Mechanics none to fix the car
No humble man to spread the tar
If every man should be on top
Now tell me what the hell could stop
Top heavy from a fatal drop
Extinct would be the mortal crop

It's time we learned to be satisfied
Curtail resources running wild
Too much have you, get rid of some
There are too many who have none
Oh my brother, help them to face the stormy weather
And heed these foolish words I tell you

i dont get it

I suggest that you ask her what she would employ herself to do, and on what basis.

How does she get by if shes not on the dole?

Used to be like that myself, would get sales jobs stay for a few weeks and not turn up as resignation, have worked throughout most of london but things got bad as I ran out of places to apply. Really good in interviews. .lol.

Some people need to hit rock bottom to know what it is and bounce back up rather than scrape on by which is why I've always been anti welfare to an extent, its bred a lax people, rock bottom is an unprepared for yout' and a free flat.

There is a resentment out there, a lot of them don't want to work and have to change to fit in a society that they feel marginalized by but its up to them to want to do something about it... self employment is always an option, loads of free courses out there and it fits well with their not wanting to work for anyone, The Princes Trust give low interest loans if you have a good idea and plan.

Lack of role models for people to relate to out there. Its a big problem.

well she is on the dole now, just had that confirmed and not a penny goes to the house she lives in. she has no shame and will run you down for money. there are so many things she is good at that she says she will not do as a job.

i wanted to find some jobs and fill out the application send it off so she would be getting interviews or job offers and see if she would go. i might suggest she signs up to an agency. her age group are easily employable in factories and office temps etc

I suggest that you ask her what she would employ herself to do, and on what basis.