Isnt it scary being a father now? look at these guys who have to fight to see their children

maybe I am wrong but dont you think the whole system is so biased against MEN just like it does in DIVORCE?

As it was pointed out in a newspaper, some of them fathers don't have a right to be protesting. I read about Batman ages ago, they listed his history in detail. He was on several charges, one of them for attacking the baby mother (I think), he was either on probation or bail at the time he pulled his stupid stunt, he's been to jail before, and he wasn't supporting his kids financially.

Now he does spoil it for the genuine fathers fighting to see their children. My brother has been subjected to that, and for some reason people sided with the lying, dutty, my legs are open 24/7, drugged up to the eyeballs, teefing, wanna take my family for eediats, waste of space and oxygen, poor excuse for a gal, and even poorer excuse for a mother. My brother hasdone more forthat boythan anyone else ever could, and I'm not overreacting when I say my brother has probably saved that boy's life on more than one occasion.

Cha, just get me vex and upset to rahtid!I agree things should be more fairer, it isn't always right to give the mother custody. It definitely wasn't rightin the case of my brother

i do think fathers should have more justice. the system needs to be updated. not all the time the mother does things in the childs interest. they just want to have some kind of control over the babyfather. as dey dont want them to go off wid over women.

the thing about the fathers for justice ppl is dat they are starting to do some dumb arse things. like the spiderman climbing at tower bridge. distruping everyones jorneys. ooooohhhhh dat annoyed me.

@ facetygal

i know wot u mean about ur brother. my boyfriend has the same problems wid his. she is a liar and tries to manipulate everything.its like these women just see the kids as tools to their evil plans. as he knows if he didnt do anything she would let that boy starve. it breaks my heart wen i see my boyfriend go thru all this stress. she has tried to break us up wid every trick in da god damn book. ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

the only one that is suffering the most is his child.

fathers are an important factor in a child's life, and every father has a god given right to be an active influence in his child's life.

but then i guess we are all aware some men and women are not worth, or fit to be parents and should be kept away from the child as much as possible.

most of these men 'fighting' to see their kids were given restarining orders for a reason, and were denied custody for a reason.

the same goes for worthless, drinkin, promiscous, drug taking mothers, who keep the children away from loving fathers out of spite.

its a tricky case to judge, and the decision makers are only human, and in a situation where these poor kids have no one to speak for them or act on their behalf, it is distressing, which is where the extended family HAVE to step in.

if u feel a relative of urs may not be the best person to take care of their child, do something, u dont hav to call the law, a family meeting could be held to determine a fitting solution...

where is the village raising the child??? time for them to step up.

The other day I made the mistake of saying all bar 1 of my closest 14/15 Friends have been in long-term relationships lasting at least 8 and up to 32 years from memory.Today I've heard one of them is going to move out next Monday from the Family Home:P.......When he met his future Wife she was up to her ears in debt(a myriad of credit cards etc)......he,on the other hand,had wisely invested in 2 Properties and had a large amount in the Bank...They Married,had 2 lovely Kids that he had waited for 40+ years for....he sold the 2 places to buy a large property in an affluent,predominantly Jewish Area in North London. with no Mortgage(worth £400,000+).....now as they don't get on too well(no other party is involved) he is moving out, leaving her to run her own business from home(he moved from South to North London to help her Business who'se clientele were mainly Jewish).....she will have the 2 kids(who he lives for) with the assistance of the Au-Pair that he pays for......Now he has £150 in the Bank from £50,000 10 years ago)....no home..will have to move in to the only reasonable accommodation he can afford with his 90-year-old Parents in Hampshire....and will be lucky to see his beloved children who are very advanced once a week.......and now she is the one who has the cash....she lent him £3,000 a few weeks back and immediately asked for the lot back when he wanted to invest some in his Business........NO IT DON'T SEEM BLOODY FAIR:P:P:P

@ cockneybouy

thats a sad story, but the enraging thing is that it happens everyday. u think u know sumone and they burn u in such a way u will never recover from it.

i pray he gets back on his feet soon. children are very observant, and are probably aware of the ill treatment their father is getting. it may not be soon, but they will discover the truth. the shame is they wont be able to make up for any lost time..

why adults cannot put aside their selfish egos when it comes to their children is beyond me, and a very unfortunate situation.

Thanks MsPnutt.......He,being a proud Man of Principle will still pay the House Bills as well and have to take another Part-Time Job to enable him to do that.....he WAS set up for life a few years ago....now.......this is a Guy who didso muchfor the kids....took them to School..cooked for them...took them everywhere as he is free during the day and works nights where the kids were..he was there......Swimming lessons U name it..he would do it.....now he will tell the 2 kids that Daddy is going away to work in Portsmouth where he originally lived 30 years ago......doesn't smoke or drink but a real Family Man......I'm gutted for him.......and to think that its his endeavour..talents..and Common Sense & Sense of Responsibility that is the greatest contributory factor toput the Family where they are now.....and the sad thing(like many men sadly) he kept it all in....no-one had a clue that for the last 2 years there were problems....she's Malaysian...at any given time she'll have 2/3 Friends/Relatives staying there from Malaysia........she's all right methinks.....he.emotionally,spiritually and financially is certainly not

but what is the solution?

pre nuptial agreements if done correctly could help... i know not a lot of ppl agree with it, but i'm not so sure its a bad idea.

if two people plan on getting married, signing a paper, agreeing to split things 50-50, having equal access to kids if the marriage breaks down might help.

i feel these arrangements should be done before marriage, agree on how many kids u'll have, agree on how the family income will be spent, who gets what if things end, and how much weight each spouse is allowed to gain smoking-devil.. yes it sounds trivial but marriages have broken down because of somebody getting too fat, too thin, etc...

so what is the harm in a prenup?

i agree wid prenup

it makes things less complicated.

but its not as easy as dat. prenup to some ppl is dat it is making the marriage seem like a contract. but in todays world u need something in writing to protect ur intrest. the man that cockneyboy is talking about. obvisoly didnt see marry this woman as more dan just plan love.

no one in der right mind is gonna mind giving half their earnings to the spouse as say u worked hard for that money.

their is so much factors to consider. i know i would sign a prenup if my husband met me rich. and i expect the same for men as well. ppl have to be smart about things.

look at that stupid girl britney spears she has just got married and refused to sign a prenup saying dey are in love. but love sometimes runs out and all u are left wid money.

it is so hard to put things in a contract wen u first start off marriage. as u are naive in events ahead

MsPnutt.....I'd love to be able to ask a future Wife to sign one....."nothing personal" Lol........but I can hear the screams now.........What are U saying CB..that U won't do everything to try to make it last?...That U might tire of me?......That I'm not good enough for you?....That its not gonna last forever when we get on so well?.........WELL CB U CAN STICK IT!!!.........the Theory is good....not so sure about the practice though.........

UniqueLady......Don't mention Insurance lol........those B****s will do anything and everything to get out of paying U for a Claim:P:P......the'll go thru' the contract with the finest of fine toothcombs to find a Clause that exempts them.....and sadly they usually succeed:P:P.......sorry Madam....Page 47 Paragraph 4 Section 5(C) SPECIFICALLY stated that "The Company" is NOT responsible forblkblahblkblah

lol @ CB.. if she has the common sense to know that, this is real life, no situation is guaranteed for life. love is not the be all and end all.

if u love each other u would want to start married life on a clean slate, with all loose ends tied up. whether u make 20million a year or 20 thousand, sign a pre nup..

i know i will.

as for insiuarance... lol! i used to wrk for an insurance company, and you want believe half the stuff we make up as we go along... LMAO!!smoking-devil

@facety girl

I read about "batman"

he used to physically abuse the mum

yep! good role model for the kids to witness

then he had gambling problems, where money for food got spent on gambling websites

therefore I believe the court banned some fathers custody for a good reason

and hence "fathers for justice" will never kick off

maybe the only stunt they should consider is to jump of the window

lol

@Iyalla

Respectfully Iyalla that's very moving post (not trying to patronise or score any points).

I think more men need to be aware that our childrenneed us, regardless of what those who think a child doesn't need a father say.Men should be encouragedtomake every effort to maintain contact with their children,even where a relationship has broken down.

Stories as such as yours - bring this truth home, more than any ranting from the likes of me or anyone else.

@Iyallah

with all due respect, I don't think the court would look at it lightly , or as simple as

who hit who first, or if you believe it is not destructive.

LOL

typical

we insult single mothers who spend money on their nails as being "careless/ bad mums"

yet

a MAN gambles the grocery bills

nopes not fit to be the father

so I will turn the question onto you

How can you be sure that the father did not put his kids in danger?

have you got proof that he is a good dad?

or are you following the "yawn" bandwagen

the court takes cases like thisserious

if you are not a good parent you will be refused custody

fix up be a good dad then you will see your kids

simple

my friend all due respect to wot u say but as a mother in a similar situation to many of these posts except for i dont take drugs or mistreat my children, i have to point out us mothers dont go out with our life goal to have some guys baby so we can keep it away from the father bull shit.... sorry but why arent these guys staying with the kids they miss so much, yeh , why they need so much space to go of seeing other womens leaving a small conveniant amount of time leftover at weekends to see their kids .

if he leaves his women and kids just cos hes changed his mind or needs space or dont love baby mama no more if he ever did then who is he to come bout demanding visiting times that suit his new life!!

lets be realistic every case is not the same, its easeir for these guys to move on with their life and wonder wot the big deal is with the agro baby mama, well she probably stressed to her eyeballs raisin kids on her own, mending broken heart, meeting someone else for the mother is often a tall order, dam i could write on this subject all day,

its like wanting their cake and eating it with a big silver spoon, make kids leave the still get to see them for a little while, move on meet new woman , new babies, dont work well hell move on again ect ect selfish.confused3

I agree with alot of the posters here in regards to the children's mothers and the childbeing caught in the middle, unfortunately in some cases the parent (s) don't realise how much the child is hurting...... I disagree wholeheartedly with using a child for your personal gain...


Sooofresh's last commentsgot me thinking - I'm not a mother either but why should a mother accomodate the father's lifestyle if he's the one that walked out to be with his 'other lady' or is that just being petty?

Back to the topic of prenuptials a minute...

I've heard of situations where this has been agreed in the beginning and then when the relationship dissolves the other party wants to contest it because more money has been accumulated etc (ie. Eric Benet & Halle Berry although I think he's having a laugh)...what do you think would work? confused3