do u think i deserved to be spoken to this way?? - Page 5

facetygal · (#101 (**permalink**))

Right here is a lesson in common courtesy. Last night I was in brixton standing near to a bus stop having a conversation on my phone. You couldn't tell I was on the phone cos I had my handsfree in, it just looked like I was listening to music. A black man walks up the road and spots me, he asks me a question but I didn't hear because I was listening to the person on the other end of the phone. Now I could have carried on like I didn't hear what the man said to me, but I cut my conversation and asked the man to repeat himself. He tells me he needs some money to get something to eat, I tell him I have no money on me. He then says he just needs 40p, I said I had to ask my work colleagues for change all day because I didn't have none on me, and he walks off to ask the next person for money. Even though this man was begging for money he was very polite and non offensive in his approach, now imagine if I really did go on like I never heard him or told him togo away. He could have switched on me easily, anddone something worse than the man inBrown Eyes situation. It takes a minute of ur time to respond to someone, it doesn't kill u to do itbut it could inadvertently save ur life.

the soul machine · (#102 (**permalink**))

efenjee wrote:

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@ the SoulMachine

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You've got to remember that a lot of these strangers that approach superficial girls they don't know and say hello to them are also superficial themselves. They tend to choose girls they like the look of to say hello to, maybe it's not always to chat the girl up but they are still selective about who they say it to which does make me wonder about them, they will ignore 5 people then choose a young attractive girl to say hello to?? Hmmm. Most women will be able to tell what kind of 'hello' she is getting most of the time. Very often, the hello will be followed up by a 'what's your name?" and many a young women can find themselves having a conversation with a man she does not know or want to know, pretty much against her will. It does not matter whether the man is white, black, yellow, green, ugly or pretty. Being good looking is no barrier to being a mad man and neither does madness discriminate racially, so the same risks apply when talking to a handsome stranger as to an ugly one. Any man can make you feel uncomfortable from what he says or does, I'm talking about asking impertinent questions and unwelcome touching - both of which can easily result from a simple hello to a strange man. Luckily, most of the time these encounters with strange men do not go sour and if you can politely say hello back nothing more will happen. Most men are not stupid enough to even approach girls who are not giving them signs that they want to be approached, much less continue trying to get the attention of one who clearly is not interested. Brown-Eyes should have asked the man who abused her if she was so much of a biitch why he was so desperate for her to respond to his hello.

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I'm not saying it's right for young girls to be rude to people who are just saying hello to them but neither is it right for men to feel it's okay to expect a strange woman should want to talk to you just because you want to talk to her - some will and some won't, deal with it. For a woman, I think it all depends on the circumstances in which a man says hello to you, asin certain situationsit's quite natural to exchange polite chit-chat with a stranger - other times it just will not feel appropriate and I don't think any woman should have to talk to a man if she feels uncomfortable doing so, if she would rather pretend she hadn't heard to avoid doing it that is her choice. Ironically, I believe that it is in these circumstances where the woman has good reason to not want to engage in conversation, that a man will most often get nasty.

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i agree with some points you made ,i wanted to make that pointbut deletedearlier that these men are equally superficial for approaching certain girl too. but you dont know how some black women carry on to thier fellow blackmen, look these women act like you are black and they arnt,an example in a store onedaythese black women refuse to attend tous blackmen forsome reason we didnt knowi seen situations where some black woman didnt even look us in the face when she served us in a store like we are in some kinda male to female war or what and threw the receipt at us like take. as if we hurt her or wat? look some of thesewomen are nutts in my opinoin and take it too far dammit. but come whitemen and they shine thier teeth like stupid muppets.thats in some cases though i dont mean all because i have also been given good customer services by various blkwomen to because i was black. just giving an example of why some blkmen can get angry, look its tough for blkmen in this fuking country already and to get a fellow blkwoman talking to them like shit will piss them off more.must be a london thing i guess..

manners82 · (#103 (**permalink**))

@soulmachine

I think what you experience was bad customer service i hope you complained to the manager.

@all

For me its very hard to trust men that are strangers, I am never rude but sometimes when they approach girls in a certain way they are asking for trouble. They have to think would they want their mother or sister to be put through that grief. Sometimes I say hello back, but not all the time because I know from experience as a women that it will cause more grief. I think this happens more in England, there are a lot of men who will not take a polite assertive no for an answer and will continue to harass you. They wont stop till u start causing a scene and I personally dont like drawing attention to myself. When I went out to clubs in other countries such as US or in dom rep all I had to say was a polite no and that was it they smiled back and left u to be. But in UK, its like they want a whole essay or something before they backoff, I went to the choice fm birthday party and this guy hit me over the head because I said no I have a BF. He said"what the **** is wrong wid u can u not see Im a pretty boy reh reh reh" he had attitude.

Even the man I am wid now for the last 7 yrs we had to be introduced by friends before we started dating. I was attracted to him but would never be interested in approaching him on the street.

When a man get ignored please dont take it personally its just the type of environment we live in, that of distrust.

I hope I make sense. Some girls will say hello some wont it doesnt make them any better or worse from each other as people.

BlackArab · (#104 (**permalink**))

The guy may have simply just want to know the time, If he request anything else just say "sorry I'm not interested"

_brown_eyes_ · (#105 (**permalink**))

well well well

thank you all for your posts!! i didnt realise id get so many replies

first of all let me apologise for upsettin those that thought i was cussin the african race. this wasnt my goal...i was actually tryin to give you all a visualisation of the scene..what i look like an what he looked like, how he spoke..etc

i understand that some of you think that i am shallow but oh well, thats ur opinion..i cant knock you for that..part of me thinks after reading your replies that i should if said hello..but then why should i?? i dont have to speak to anyone if i dont want to. i didnt speak to him because of the way he looked an i didnt like the look of him, im not that shallow. it was my choice not to speak to him because i just didnt want to. he'd been giving me some funky looks an i wasnt really interested in what he had to say, now im sorry if that offends people but oh well, u'll get over it

buti do apologise if i did upset anyone by posting this thread...i honestly didnt think i was going to get some many replies with regards to the thread

jazztalking · (#106 (**permalink**))

..and I think you are a facety arrogant little slapper without one brain cell. Good manners is not just about making the other person feel happy, it also demonstrates thatsomeone hasCLASS.And judgingby your picture, class has bever been a friend of yours.

Kibibi · (#107 (**permalink**))

jazztalking wrote:

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..and I think you are a facety arrogant little slapper without one brain cell. Good manners is not just about making the other person feel happy, it also demonstrates thatsomeone hasCLASS.And judgingby your picture, class has bever been a friend of yours.

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Wow

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Think I'll just get toblktrainersup out of this thread...

jazztalking · (#108 (**permalink**))

LOL

Oscar Wilde himself would have approved of that line. Surprised myself when it popped out. lol

_brown_eyes_ · (#109 (**permalink**))

whassup jazzy

its ok, your entitled to your views because when it comes down to it, i posted this thread to hear your views. it dont bother me know way what you think of me, im not your friend an you aint mine so dont think that your lttle commens are going to upset me:P:P. come better than that...an it dont bother me what you think of my picture, it wasnt put up for people to enjoy, think what u like about it.....this post is borin the hell out of me now so, im movin on.

there is more to life than you lot takin your anger out on me..get over it an move on. this happened two weeks ago...OLD NEWS and it needs to be thrown in the garbage blkflush..but it was interestin to read what you guys had to say. all your views were interesting but i wont be taking any of them to heart simply because i have a life and im not really that interested in the post. thanks anywayniceone.gifniceone.gif

Mafdet · (#110 (**permalink**))

@Jazz

Oh my days you need to calm down if you went on to say more I swear I would've thought you were the man that Brown eye blanked LOL.bighairlol

@Brown Eyes and all

I found it interesting reading some of the replies and as much as people want to say you don't have to say hello to anyone if you don't want to and some have said he was looking to Brown eyes to bump up his pride or he could have been a crazy person I will still take the stance that if someone says hello to me I will respond because thats how I was raised. We all have our reasons but something about the way brown eye made her intial comments I can literally see the way she looked at this man like he was a piece of dirt and to me it reminds me of the countless times I see the younger generation disrespecting the elders which hit a sore note with me.

But this is by no means saying there is never situations where a female has to be very careful because some men out there are very dangerous indeed and purposely set out to have confrontation with women.

@Rockett

You are giving me the jokes the way you are pulling up Tuckerreed wherever he goes and says in this village LOL.

@Ginger

It is irrelevant that this man was African the fact remains that he was a nasty dirty piece of work and I hope you never find yourself in that situation again. I know its easy said than done but we should always try and remember some details to pass onto the police when these things happen. I can't remember the exact case but I do remember an incident where a man assaulted a women and prior to this he tried it on with another women but she was stronger and more forceful and he left her alone. But the fact is the first women did not report it to the police and if she had they may have been able to stop the second incident from happening because he stayed within the same area troubling women until he was caught. When the first women finally came forward her details and description of the man was so clear that she could've provided crucial evidence much earlier.

I know many wouldn't they would rather forget the incident but if that happened to me what happened to Brown eye I would question the store as well in order to find out if that man always shops there and if he had troubled other females before. Especially if I felt so strongly about the way I had been spoken to.

miky · (#111 (**permalink**))

its this same attitude that even warranted the guys cussing at you. i mean why ignore someone,from what i know some countries in africa take ignoring as a high level.its almost like wishing he is dead of course i dont expect you to know anything about this but remeber he came politely and just coz of looks you already seemed to mock him, what if at that moment you found at he is some prince and his dad has an equivalent to billions of dollars '' as so many african prince do'' would you have changed ur attitude.respecting someone is all about dignity.thee are many times i come across ppl in this country that i have the least desire of talking to coz whats there to talk about confused3if its not clothes,entertainment or what.however i try to respond even if it means pretending

facetygal · (#112 (**permalink**))

Save ur energy people, the gal that started this thread in the first place is no longer interested in knowing our views, clearly because we are not agreeing with her. As she rightly said we have devoted too much time on this, and subsequently too much time on her. Lets all swim back to the deep end of the pool and leave her in the shallow end, with the smell of piss lingering in the air.