what do you think the chances are of finding a man with no kids?

CaramelSagg · (#1 (**permalink**))

Hi guys, please can you give some hope to us women who are single and have no children are highly educated and are 25, me and my friends have this debate all the time, they reckon finding a man with one child is hard enough let alone none, most black men are on there second and third by now, what do you think? do you have kids? ow old are you??confused2

Soulstarr · (#2 (**permalink**))

None of the black men that I know in this age bracket have children. Maybe its the circles you move in or the places you're looking?

Just out of interest, how much of a big deal is it if he has a child?

Zerohero · (#3 (**permalink**))

Well were I live there are plenty around that age that don't have kids. The one's that do have kids around that age probably had them early or probably got pressured into by their women "bio clock" to have them earlier. So rest assured there are plenty of black men out there around that age without kids.

Incognito · (#4 (**permalink**))

Caramelsagg, you wait til you hit 35+ and still singing the same song. It just might be a weird coincidence or as Soulstarr said the circles I move in but I've found women at this age (35+) with no children see more of me as a person and more tend to embrace the concept of me having children - but then again maybe it's their age

Backatya · (#5 (**permalink**))

CaramelSagg wrote:

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Hi guys, please can you give some hope to us women who are single and have no children are highly educated and are 25, me and my friends have this debate all the time, they reckon finding a man with one child is hard enough let alone none, most black men are on there second and third by now, what do you think? do you have kids? ow old are you??confused2

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Just exactly how many black men do you know?

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Have you met all/most/a few of them?

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I tell you most of the young black guys I know of (i.e. around the 25 age group you specify) are childless.

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What's the betting that you can count on 2 hands (ok I will let you have 4) the amount of black guys you can actuallyclaim to know? Yet you reckon you know that 'finding a guy around 25 with one child (let alone none) is nigh on impossible?

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Since when is your limited exposure of the world so authorative to enable you to be an expert on the state of 'young black men'? Besides, has it ever occured to you that the guys you do meet might only tell you they have a child because it suits their purpose?

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Respect

Kunjufu · (#6 (**permalink**))

CaramelSagg wrote:

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Hi guys, please can you give some hope to us women who are single and have no children are highly educated and are 25, me and my friends have this debate all the time, they reckon finding a man with one child is hard enough let alone none, most black men are on there second and third by now, what do you think? do you have kids? ow old are you??confused2

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You know Caramel: I really don't like these type of rhetorical gateway questions..that in my view appear designedto lead into men bashing sessions...I will apologise now if this was not your intention.. However I find this type of thing really tedious, unfair and irritating, people are allowed to make mistakes or do stuff without having to feel judged or having people project theor own feelings onto their past relationships...

At the end of the day...you meet someone isn't it or maybe that should read shouldn't it be about whether he can be right for you..whether you and him has the potential to work through stuff and build a life...together..In my view there is too much searching for this mythical perfect man....Life just aint like that people come from baggage...be it Children, emtional history or circumstances....the test isn't can i find a blank sheet... the test surely is how can work together through whatever adversity we come up against...

Abissinia · (#7 (**permalink**))

From my circle there are only two who have kids, both married and in their early thirties, third one is expecting and getting married in May and he is in his twenties, the rest don't have children. So yes like everyone else have said it's the company you're keeping that's the problem.

CaramelSagg · (#8 (**permalink**))

So how do you suggest one changes there company? move?

Kunjufu · (#9 (**permalink**))

Ok..one can.......

Do different hobbies..

Consider a post grad course..

Take up a new social activity..

Join a political group...

Go to socialise in different places...eerrrr shal I go on?

Soulstarr · (#10 (**permalink**))

CaramelSagg wrote:

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So how do you suggest one changes there company? move?

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[suP]Its not about changing your company. its about expanding your social circle.[/suP]

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[suP]But honestly, is it really that terrible if a man has a child?[/suP]

Abissinia · (#11 (**permalink**))

Move? Girl i live in South London, apparently some consider it ghetto and rough:P........... i kid you not Channel U actually come around my neighborhood every so often to film their "In the Hood" videos lol.

Anyway, i met most of my male friends in Uni (i did an IT course so most of the students were male

), i then met more males when i started working and of course met more men through working with majority men

, over the years i have accumulated several male friends who have become like brothers and non of them (apart from the married once and the engaged one (expecting)) have children, and yes they are all mid twenties to mid thirties, educated and almost gentlemen like.

CaramelSagg · (#12 (**permalink**))

ALREADY AT MY SECOND UNIVERSITY DOING MY MASTERS

WORK FULL TIME

WORK PART TIME ELSEWHERE

DO VOLUNTEER WORK FOR TWO DIFFERENT CHARITIES

SOCIALISE WITH DIFFERENT PEOPLE, AGES AND EDUCATIONAL AND PROFESSIONAL BACKGROUNDS ON DIFFERENT AND NO INCOMES, STUDENTS, PARENT ECT.

GO TO THE GYM AND EXERCISE CLASSES.