Aryek wrote: Aryek, I honestly believe that the dudes you spoke of are in the minority. No offense intended to any brother in particular, but some cats look for any reason to explain away why they can't get/keep women. It's easier to project their issues onto some mythical "twisted African/Black woman" than dealing with the reality of why they get the wrong women or no women at all. If the women you're attracted to are from the gutter(so to speak), why would you expect them to be representatives of ladyhood? What mentalities did you expect them to have in the first place? It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy.


Furthermore, the reality is for various reasons, some men(like some women) are going to attract a larger pool of potential mates. To, as a man, continue to try to dictate the choices women make through whining about what you believe they should find attractive is not only useless, but projects a lack of self-esteem, which turns off most women. Cats that get women could give a damn about what women do or don't find attractive.


The reason that the position they come from seems contradictory is: they are coming from a largely self-serving place. Are you worried about these women getting with "thugs" because you're worried about their physical well-being, the societal ills that the promotion of that type of man as ideal perpetuates, or are you simply worried about how it affects how much pussy is available to you or worse; that your kind is not perceived as being at the top of the "food chain"(ego)? Disingenuous motives are apparent to even the most simplistic thinking people.


Finally, the internet has distorted the perception of many African/Black women towards African/Black men; when in reality most African/Black men aren't on this shit(some are). By its nature, the internet probably attracts the type of cat that is prone to carrying on like a jaded loser. The problem is: it has become so influential that it's taken as gospel, rather than with a grain of salt. Don't let this medium shape how you believe most brothers feel. Yes, we all have the normal issues with the opposite sex that most men of all races have, but we don't loathe our women in mass.

Wow, slow down Aryek..

Firstly I would like to get things straight. No I'm not a liar, what I said is simply drawn from my own meandering observations. As with most blacks living in the UK, I have grown up around a different variety of black people, with different dreams and aspirations, so I am not intending to generalise one race and gender. My comments are not an insecure attack black women, I love blackwomen and will stick beside them, so how my argument suddenly became a case of me being unable to keep black women I will never know, I have never had a problem with all the black women I dated, and no I'm not about to desert them any time soon. However what I am saying is recently I have seen arise in the promotion ofeducation for black women, not only in my everyday life but also in the media e.g Oprah opening a GIRLS school, Bill Cosby addressing Black female graduates on how us males are failing and its their responsibility to lead Black America.

One brother even posted earlier, saying how he was the only black male in his university lecture with like 8 other black females, its as if it is now socially acceptable for Black single female parentto have dreams of education and aspiring to something, she is applauded,howeverwhen aBlack male follows this same path, they are seen as somehow conforming to the system, being subservient to white society and a little too "obedient". Like I said, I don't intend to generalise through the example of Fantasia as a spokeswoman for all black females. But a little of what she is portraying in her song, resonates through life. Aryek I'm not sure of your age or generation, but the ideals and crap being spewed to the young blackfemales of my generation is amazing.I was talking to a female friend of mine, shes at university and wants to do well for herself, however shesays she could never date a guy that "studies", even though she is one of the most studious girls around. Females are always talking about double-standards but how can she want a future for herself, but deny any brother with a plan. I don't want to turn this into a female bashing post, because I understand there are many many virtuous and intelligent black women who look for the same qualities in their partner, so I'm not trying to paint you all with the same brush. Aryek to have taken such offence to my post, you must really feel as if the negative comments made, may have somehow applied to you.

I see that the blame game is in full swing. I have yet to meet Black Women who say they want Thugs or Thuggish guys. Such things, I often read of in the Commentaries of Newspapers regarding the "State of Black America". All the Black Women I know and hang out with are all either in Graduate Schools or Working. Those whowork are also going part time to Graduate school. This leaves them little time to check out the so called Thugs and which thug came out with the latest album.

These women are trying to better themselves and do better than their parents and grand-parents. They speak correct, have manners and uphold themselves to a certain standard. They are down to earth and If you approach them with your pants swagging, pants down or almost falling off; the way the so called thugs do, they would look at you really funny and think you must have lost your mind. These are women in their twenties by the way.

Actually, VK's point connects to the point I was making in the Life is so unfair thread. You have guys casting their fishing rods in certain kinds of water, then acting suprised about what ends up being on their hook.

It's like rappers and athletes who get so accustomed to the groupies and or hookers who predominate in their environment(sometimes choosing to only deal with that type), then start projectingwhat they see with those women, on to women in general. What they should be doing is reevaluating what types of circles they move in and what type of women they deal with and asking THEMSELVES what kind of woman do THEY really want. That would of course include taking responsibility for something, that's too much to ask for some, I suppose.

@Gmahogany. I drive a 1999 Honda that is still in a very good shape because I maintain it very well andI can go out and buy a Brand New Mercedes Benz with the latest rims on them if I want to today, but thats not what I want, but I am looking to geta Regualr New Car but I have been lazy lately. The women I know don't care what type of car me or my Friends drive. Hell sometimes when we go out I suggest we take their car because its more nicer and they would say fine; as long as I drive because they don't feel like driving and I am the one taking them out anyway. They are very comfortable riding inmy 1999 Honda even though they might have newer cars. They don't care about bling and the latest gear a man wears. One of my buddies fromfrom high school is a Surgeon and married and he still drives his 1992 Toyota Pick-up Truck and his wife from Marietta, Georgiais a masters Graduate of M.I.T school of Enginering. Like MMD said, "stay in your lane and there you will find an abundance of African/Black Women".

There are plenty of classy women who are not into all the negativity, so plenty that there are not enough of us guys for them. Most probably their numbers Quadrupole that of men. If you approach Hood chicks who are into Hood Guys then of course you would be taken to the cleaners. Most probabbly these are the women who say I want a man to help me pay my bills. If that is what you go after, then of course you won't be a happy man for too long because when your money runs out, so will they. If you don't want to be taken to the cleaners then don't go after women who want material things. My girlfriend thinks I spent too much money on cds, which is a hobby of mine, buying and collecting music cds and I will not and refuse to burn cds, instead I buy originals sometimes ordering imports from abroad that cost extra money;but she understand that isone of my hobbies andsomething I like to do and she knows not to mis-place or mis-handlemy cds or else I won't be too happy.