Well it takes all sorts to make the world - another thing we need to accept is many are called few are chosen...not everyone is destined for the same destination - courage is being able to leave the unchosen behind instead of trying to convince them to come. Scarily this concept leads to individualism.

I tell you this much the govt system whatever do not give a sh$t about us ..we can wipe each other out for all they care ..some people are yet to be convicted for the killing of certain black people yet the boy that shot the 11 year old in Liverpool and the motorcyclist have all been caught ...pisses me off no end ....I have tried to reason that we alone can handle the problem but i cannot help but indict the govt in this..what the fu$k are the MI6 doing??

There is a lot of talk about men and their expectations of women being able to cook and clean. Men should be taking pride in these areas. I'm the kind of person who nobody can wash and iron my clothes because it's likely they wouldn't do it to the standards that I like.

I see cooking and cleaning as essentials for the environment for raising children. Hell and powder house if you meet a woman who sees these as chores bestowed upon them by men as opposed to standards for their own children. One of my friends on discovering how wotliss his British born wife was actually sent back home for an au pair..and even then his main concern was with how wotliss she would make his wife look....especially when the only thing the wife is defending is her 9-5 and her material assets.

In my case it's like what I wanted for my children was seen as too far fetched...my standards and dreams were too high. Remember behind every successful man is a good woman...if you are failing to progress then check your woman. Even if she was the one behind your progress up to now, if that progress subsides then it's a sign that your woman has reached her comfort zone and is no longer worthy for the rest of the journey - but beware, if she has your kids by then then she'll sell you out to whoever she needs to in an attempt to classify you as an unworthy or unfit father.

Was speaking to my friend who lost his son to a stabbing earlier this year and there are certain lines you do not cross as they define you as a man. If not crossing that line means you lose your children, this is sometimes seen as ignorance. The reality is a man of principle will defend those principles, you need to look at this in terms of suicide bombers and honour killings, that's how far some will go in their defence of cultural values and family pride. As African men, we could do with more of that.

Also accept there is a class system, this transcends ambition, values, pride and decency. My ex wife was extremely superficial. An example being when we were house hunting. The amount of properties I turned down for one reason or another she probably would have lived in all of them. Even when finally finding the one, she was ready to simply paint over the wallpaper in the bedrooms where I'm into stripping it all down and replastering if necessary - I'm like what are we turning down all those other houses for just to paint over the wallpaper in this one.....for me if that's your standards then you'd probably be just as happy in a babymothers kotch from the government.

Now this superficial mentality, at it's worse will transcend absolutely everything superficial people do...and the children are no exception. So watch out for those quiet women, I gave the benefit of the doubt keeping faith that the quietness was a sign of consciousness - kind of all part of my spiritual makeup.

I asked Toyin of Ligali in the Mandela thread about how he relates his spiritual connection to the people in his organisation who are not necessarily driven by that same spiritual force. This is where I have been extremely green because I took it for granted that the people that come into my life are part of my spiritual journey so when you hear man is telling their babymammas to dash belly, babymammas going halves on their children and hypocrite Africans turning militant overnight you begin to appreciate these people are more a test of your faith as opposed to proof of it.

At the same time people learn at different stages. Even my babymamma drama, in reality I aint going through nothing some of my friends didn't go through twenty years ago. Even the seasoned babymammas here probably can't relate because they are already well down their road of normality. Point being with no standards or more with ill-standards being handed down, it's even more important to know your class. Don't be feeling sorry for no woman who didn't grow with their dads, youi aint doing them no favours, their class is already ingrained into them - indeed they probably think it's them showing you standards.

Where does this leave us in terms of betterment, well if you are not ready to drop the standards, the class or the values you believe in then there's little hope...as in its extreme (i.e. suicide bombings/honour killings) these are things there is no compromise on.

Know the difference between love and respect. Knew a brotha who says he loves his babymamma but if he respected her she wouldn't be a babymamma and he wouldn't have told her to dash a belly. If as men we don't know the difference how do we expect our women to.

Be prepared for lifes ironies. As a person of contrast I appreciate this to the maximum. You may find you've done so many things for free for the benefit of our children only to end up with a babymother who expects you to pay for yours. Don't take it personal, it's a sign that you tried - no pain no gain.

I know this is the men's forum, but I think I am able to comment.

First, try not to use language that may be offensive to females or something you wouldn't say in front of your mother.

The main thing I think black males can do is to use their own brain. I mean really examine what they believe and why they believe it.

incognito,
Actually, it not about so much of what we can do about our image, it's also what the world can do be be better educated about Black people and to be open minded about it. Too often, there are Whites and other non-Blacks who only know about us through stereotypes. You go in may portions of society and there are folks who are literally clueless about the existence of us. The average person who learn about the negative stereotypes have never been exposed, been educated( Book or commmonsense) and only base their thoughts on what they were told or what they seen on TV.Yes, we often see those negative images of us and we cringe about it, but we shouldn't have to prove ourselves to nobody. There is no such thing as perfect humans and every race has their good, bad ,and ugly in it.

not so

i couldnt care less you will just end up a black snob pretending ya better then anyone else cos you think white people pay you any mind

im about as righteous as the topic starter in this thread so im more than qualified to say what i am saying now point is im the way i am cos i was raised that way i couldnt give a damn bout white mans perception of me as its a dead issue.

the most ill do is brown nose with a white man for things i NEED

im sure you know what i mean and these days that is becoming less needed as the world is becoming more GLOBALISED



therefore i stand my by original thought on the matter


I DONT CARE WHAT THE WHITE MAN THINKS