A black family's worse fears...relatives in mixed race relationships.. - Page 2

Ginger · (#26 (**permalink**))

Kunjufu, my condolences for your loss. I've never experienced what you are going through right now, but unfortunately death tends to bring out some peculiar behaviour in people.

Footprints · (#27 (**permalink**))

This is a tough thread to read. Condolences to Njufu and hope you will find the strength to make sense out of all the mess going on.

rachie · (#28 (**permalink**))

I am sorry to hear of the loss of people who have lost loved ones in this thread recently.

menzzingos · (#29 (**permalink**))

Sorry to hear about your loss Kunjufu

Le Moor · (#30 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by An_Advanced_Spark

Kun I understand your sit, same things happened to my mother's cousin and ended up being the FIRST to be cremated.The black I can tell you were not pleased in the slightest, but boi, have to say once a person marries outside, they marry their culture and I find it most difficult to express sympathy really.

I lost my father just yesterday I can thank god that he married a beautiful Black woman who will make the right decision.

My Condolences Mr Kun

Again, sorry to hear of your loss AAS, and can i extend my thoughts to you as well.

Prince Hakeem · (#31 (**permalink**))

In regards to mixed 'relationships', you know my views on that already, but I'd also like to extend my condolences to Kunjufu and A_A_S, especially as I know the pain of losing a parent - although not under such circumstances as K mentioned.

jett Black · (#32 (**permalink**))

Condolences to you and your AAS.

Vubundada_Kandaba · (#33 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kunjufu

**This is just me clearing my chest..**

How many times have we as black people heard stories of Black men & women, marrying outside of their culture and when they dead, that partner virtually taking liberties with the family and children.. stories of men, especially being buried in the cheapest and disrespectful way possible...of arguments when naturally brothers/sister, parents or children want to honor their parent properly..but the wife/husband not allowing it..

@Kunjufu. Sorry to hear about the death of your Father and my condolence to your Family. I have a similar story to tell. A fellow Sudanese decided to marry an Asian American Woman of Korean origins and moved to Lousiana with the lady. Somehow, he died last year and the lady did not bother to call his Relatives until the day before the funeral to inform them. She made all the arrangements to have him cremated. Even then, when his relatives tried to get hold of her, she spoke only briefly to them and told them she had no time to talk now because she is busy arranging the funeral. Imagine this sort of thing considering the fact the cremation and burning a dead body to ashes is an alien culture to us and caused very deep negative emotions. I don't want to generalized because the cultures in Africa are different from place to place and in other Ethnic groups in the old days; when a person dies, they put the dead body in the house and burn the house down together with the person. The remains are buried in the same spot. That is a culture that other tribes that I know of practice, but for us such practice is not acceptable.

The relatives of the Guy who died lived far away in other States and they were powerless to stop the Korean lady from going ahead. Furthermore in African Societies and I am sure this applies to the Caribbean as well, the responsibility of taking care of the burial arrangement of the deceased rest with his or her relatives and not the spouse. The opposite is done here in the West. That is why Family is very important to us Africans and the responsibility of caring for each other rests with the whole extended family. Even in marriage issues, the whole extended family including relatives from both sides of the family are involved in marriage decision making and the same people are also involved when it comes to issues of burial for a decease family member and they all decide where and how the deceased will be buried. Here in the West, it is up to the surviving Wife or Husband to decide.

Geoff · (#34 (**permalink**))

My sympathies to you both

Aryek · (#35 (**permalink**))

My condolences to you, K. May your father rest in peace.

blaze · (#36 (**permalink**))

My Deepest condolences to AAS and Kunjufu.

I have to say this thread is very interesting. I didn't know things could be this bad with different races and cultures. But people, don't be naive to think that this can't happen within the black Community as Vezz has just shown. I hope everyone the best for their relatives and family.

astmartins · (#37 (**permalink**))

Sincere condolences to K and AAS its never nice losing someone you close or have been close to no matter how vexed one had been with them
There are two perspectives here with the IR stuff they not necessarily bothered with ones tradition as they feign ignorance or just plain disregard all balls down to some sort of superiority that their way is better period.
The African way which i think is more less the Caribbean way first thing first abide with tradition once the man or woman is buried the fight begins over the possessions often instigated by the In-Laws...