Does it matter if your partner has dated a cracka? - Page 3

Gmahogany. · (#51 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mos

Can this statement not be applied to every black person who dates IR ?

Of course it CAN. Does that mean it's likely to? Not in my experience. It's like asking can it snow on the Gulf Coast of Alabama. Sure it can,(and does every once in a blue moon), but as of now it occurs about once ever 20 years, if that. It's possible, but you'll be more than alright if you don't invest in snow tires/snow shovels, etc,lol.

As I said before, when we know better we should do better. As a collective, we know better,now. We are all living in the time after the Civil Rights/Black Power/Black is Beautiful era, thanks to people like Malcolm. We have all been born and raised in a time where the ideas that: Africans lived in the trees/The white man's ice is colder/The white man is the only person who ever did anything of worth in the world,White equals beauty, mythology and lie has been challenged,exposed and disproven. Malcolm and his peers didn't have that benefit. Hell, AMerican Negroes still thought Tarzan was a realistic depiction of Africa and Africans, when Malcolm was growing up. He even talked about watching Tarzan and yelling: "Get those Africans Tarzan!!"as a child,LOL. There's no comparison,now, and no excuse.

If it works for Malcolm why not us?

Never said it couldn't work for the collective YOU. The first paragraph of my first post said:"For me, it would definitely depend on the attitude/reason that a Black man slept with a white woman. I can honestly say that having had sex with one or two, would not bother me as much as having straight up dated white women, took them home to momma brought them around family. Dudes like that give me the heebie jeebies."

These days, the attitude and the reason typically for dating IR, are rooted in having ISSUES with Black women/Black men. That wasn't the case with Malcolm. He basically got with the white chick, cause the Black chick he was digging wouldn't "put out", was too sexually inexperienced and had a momma or grandmama trying to make sure she stayed that way. The white chick was throwing the P*ssy at him hard(as was customary for the white women in that time who liked to go to BLack clubs on the prowl for Black dick), and he couldn't get out of the way of it,lol. Seriously though, even within that, he felt guilty about how he had treated the Black woman he had been involved with, and often thought about how his treatment of her, caused her life to take a certain trajectory. He didn't have open contempt for all Black women, or think white women were better than/nicer than/more moral than, Black women. THat alone, makes him not have any passing resemblance to a lot of the Black men who go that route, THESE days.

Mos · (#52 (**permalink**))

Black men during Malcolm time didn't go that route which proved it was possible not to go there even in that time.

If Malcolm can be 'excused' then todays Black men can also use the same reasoning especially on a sex issue.

A strong reason for black men to date IR is the sex issue, Men are controlled by this and they will go where it is easier to get.

Soul Machine explained it well - white women are good at flirting and making a black man feel good.
The majority are not emotional attached but physically they can't say no just like Malcolm.

Breadfruit · (#53 (**permalink**))

Malcolm’s behavior, before the nation is a great contradiction which I think he explained by saying he was out of his mind. Still a great contradiction though - especially when he came from such a very strong UNIA background.

Malcolm’s father was a devoted follower of Garvey and Garvey (The UNIA) made it plain that African should stick to African.

Malcolm's mother though, according to what I've researched was even more of a Garveyist than her husband.

The destruction of Malcolm's family, as it does for soo many of our people, was probably the critical catalyst that help create Malcolm's temporary madness.

Gmahogany. · (#54 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mos

Black men during Malcolm time didn't go that route which proved it was possible not to go there even in that time.

Bad comparison. Black men during that time had strong incentive and motivation not to go that route. White men would have a Black man's balls in a jar for looking sideways at a white woman. White men routinely killed Black men, and boys,btw(Emmitt Till for example), for THINKING about having sex with white women, much less actually doing it. Malcolm lived in the North so white men didn't respond as extremely, but Malcolm commented that he was certain that when he was sent to prison for burglary, and he got all those years, it was because he had been messing with a white woman, as much as for the burglary. Beyond that, its is precisely because white men were so willing to kill Black men for going near their women, that so many Black men of that time found white women alluring. In Buddhism it is said that when something is kept from you, even things that are by nature UNDESIRABLE, take on a DESIRABLE aura,lol. This is why I reiterate that I don't hold Black men of that era to the same standard.

If Malcolm can be 'excused' then todays Black men can also use the same reasoning especially on a sex issue.

Black men of this time can't be excused in my mind, because Mr. CHarlie has been nice enough to give ya'll permission to have all the white pussy you want(so the forbidden fruit thing is no longer in effect like back in the day), and in spite of that the overwhelming of BLack men,(in AMerica anyway), DON'T go that route. The overwhelming majority of AA's date and marry other Black folks. The ones who don't are the aberration and typically possess a certain mindset and world view and are automatically viewed with suspicion, as they should be. I don't have to give them the benefit of the doubt. They are NEGLIGBLE, and therefore quite expendable,around here, anyway. Ya'll got a whole other thing going on in the UK. I wouldn't even know where to start.......

A strong reason for black men to date IR is the sex issue, Men are controlled by this and they will go where it is easier to get.

This is lame. So now there are no Black women who are freaks?LOL. There are no Black women who are willing to drop it like it's hot? That's funny, either Black women are being categorized as all uptight and asexual, or we're being classified as insatiable, big bootied hoes and strippers, which one is it?. Malcolm could have found Black women who were his speed sexually. He was a pimp at some point for God's sake. He pimped Black women by and large(it goes without saying that THEY were willing to have sex,no?). My guess is that he didn't want that from a Black woman at that time. When the Black chick he was into, figured out why he was kicking her to the curb, she started trying to become more sexual, because she liked him. He stopped her, because he didn't want to corrupt her. He knew what type of things he was into,at the time. He told her to listen to her grandmother's advice about him being "bad news". My guess is he at that point in time, he liked the idea of living on the edge and being with a white woman. It completed the "bad ass" persona, he had at the time, plus the white chick fit into the gutter lifestyle he was living at that time.

Soul Machine explained it well - white women are good at flirting and making a black man feel good.

The majority are not emotional attached but physically they can't say no just like Malcolm.

White women are good at being phony and stroking a Negro's ego, whether they mean it or not,lol. Some Black male comedian summed them up well, he said that when you're about to have sex with white women they start screaming before you even get your pants down,lol. Safetyblitz mentioned something similar in another thread, a while back. In other words it's not even about the particular Black man that's in front of them or even what's being done to them sexually, as much as it's about whatever Mandingo/Black Buck fantasy they have in their head. Black men, especially when they are young, gobble that up, fair enough. Knock yourselves out.

Black women are not going to act the same way as white women do, when it comes to sex and sexuality(especially when we don't KNOW you/apon first meeting you) for MYRIAD reasons, unless we are actually strippers or prostitutes,and even THEY oftentimes won't do it unless it 's for money. A lot of them turn that shit right off if them dollars ain't flowing,lol.

Slutty doesn't work for us, like it does for Meagan. We can't do what they can do. WHite women haven't had their sexuality assaulted/maligned/been widely believed to be "rape proof" and shit like that, the way sisters historically/currently have. White women don't have to worry about being called a ho or a slut. They get WAY more leeway in that regard than we ever did. Not only do BLack women have to be careful of that kind of thing around white men and other non Black men(who have been conditioned to think of us in certain ways sexually for CENTURIES), even BLack men give white women the benefit of the doubt about that kind of thing, that they don't give to BLack women.

A white woman can be drunk off her ass, hanging all over dudes in the club, shaking her titties and some more stuff, throwing up, she is still gonna get the benefit of the doubt of being a pristine, virginal, civilized white woman, when it comes down to it. It's CUTE when she does it. She can have friggin track marks on her arms and be engaging in all kinds of risky, dangerous behavior. If some random dude she hops into a car with, drags her off and rapes and kills her, her virtue will still be upheld and protected. It will still be treated like something important has occured. A Black woman could not drink, not be hanging on dudes in the club,be a total straightlaced prude, she still has to prove that she's not some hoochie mama/hoodrat/part time prostitute to get 1/3 of the same consideration/respect/regard.

Black women may not give you that flirty overtly friendly sexual thing, early or easily, but when we do give you that, it's REAL, and it's specific to YOU,lol. I think that' s the main reason that you find that as Black men get older,wiser, more secure,less gullible, they tend to come back home, so to speak, tend to want that Soul sister thing. No one loves harder than Black women do. Errrybody knows that.........

Having said that though, I find it very interesting that Black men who go that route complain that Black women aren't as nice, easy, cooperative as white women. Black women who go the white man route say the SAME thing, that white men are: nicer, more complimentary, less prone to "fronting" or worrying about what their boys think,less hardcore attitude, Easier to talk to. Even Black women like myself who've never considered going that route notice that there is some kernel of truth in that,(not just among white men, but other Non Black men,too). Isn't that funny? That the behaviors that each gender describes about the other gender is basically the flip side of the same coin? I guess Abbey LIncoln was right in her "who will revere the BLack women essay", when she said that Black men and women are MIRROR images of each other. Whatever traits we detest in each other, are traits that we too possess, and that we are running away from ourselves,because we are the way we are because of our experience as Black folks in this world. Contrary to popular belief, Black women are not excluded from that experience, just because we are women.

Maybe those traits have to do with us being BLACK. Maybe some of us act that way because of a fundamental lack of trust towards each other. It's almost like we think if we show any vulnerability or don't put up a "hard" front or facade, we'll be taken for a sucker, or an easy mark, be taken advantage of. Maybe familiarity breeds contempt, as the old saying goes. It's weird, but I think a lot of us don't feel as compelled to put up that facade, when dealing with a non Black person(which is the opposite of how it should be). Which explains why you will have white men who date/marry Black women say that the reason they do so is because they find Black women more warm and genuine, less cold then their own women, completely opposite of what the BLack men who prefer white women say. Either people are lying, or maybe folks are on their best behavior when dealing with someone not of their cultural group. Kind of like people act nicer in front of company.

Gmahogany. · (#55 (**permalink**))

Oh yeah, I forgot to add that all during this time that white men were forbidding Black men to even think about going near white women, apon penalty of death;white men had total sexual access to Black women, and partook of it. What group of men WOULDN'T be phucked up in the head behind some ish like that, or behave strangely?????For men of Malcolm's time, dating a white woman had all kinds of things wrapped up in it, from attempting to reestablish lost masculinity as it related to white men, to trying to get a little payback /revenge on Mr. Charlie for all the years when he kept his woman off limits, while doing what he wanted in reference to yours, and you couldnt' do anything about it. That's why some bros from Malcolm's time acted like ravenous dogs when it came to white women,especially once the access was no longer restricted. It almost made sense, for THAT time.

Shemsi en Tehuti · (#56 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sooofresh

cee cee,

malcolm x is mixed race, so if he dated bluefoot when he was young, then it was natural to him then.

me personally.........nah, cause you know if anything went wrong then the first thing to come out of their gob is my ex bluefoot did this and that.

so nay, can't be dealing with complex, i aint fooled by kente wearing brothers, cause the minute they start running their mouth about black woman as a seperate entity from women generally,then he has been with a bluefoot!

Malcolm "mixed-race"? He might of been lighter in skin, but the brother was not mixed and was no lighter than me. I guess you think I'm mixed-race too...oh well...

Sooofresh · (#57 (**permalink**))

Dude,

not sure what you are fafling about, but Malcolm X mum is white!..........dunno........ that's what i read, i could be wrong. Google it.

I never said he is light skinned=mixed,

talk about selective reading!

Breadfruit · (#58 (**permalink**))

Malcolm's mother, Louise Little, and his father, Earl Little.

"Malcolm Little, the son of an African American Baptist preacher, Earl Little, was born in Omaha, Nebraska, on 19th May, 1925. Malcolm's mother, Louise Little, was born in the West Indies. Her mother was black but her father was a white man. "

Malcolm X

.

*$HaNnY_Bu* · (#59 (**permalink**))

Okay this is annoyinh me now. Malcom X's mother was mixed race. If you read the book properly, his grandmother was raped by a white man (his mother father/his granfather). Malcoms' mother had ALOT of resentment against this and was VERY militant in Garveys view and how she felt about white men and the ways they used black women.

Gmahogany. · (#60 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by *$HaNnY_Bu*

Okay this is annoyinh me now. Malcom X's mother was mixed race. If you read the book properly, his grandmother was raped by a white man (his mother father/his granfather). Malcoms' mother had ALOT of resentment against this and was VERY militant in Garveys view and how she felt about white men and the ways they used black women.

Absolutely correct. Malcolm's MOTHER was the product of a white man raping her mother, which is why his mother DETESTED white people. Malcolm's mother was mixed race(through rape). How does that make Malcolm mixed race? I thought mixed race meant having one BLack parent and one white parent, in the UK. How far back do ya'll go with that????

Mos · (#61 (**permalink**))

@Gmahogony
Regarding Malcolm actions I agree with the 'reasons' stated but still don't believe that it is an excuse.
There are a number of areas forbidden that become accessible but not desirable.
If a person has that inclination they will desire it whether it is forbidden or not.

Likewise there are those who even if it is accesible wouldn't go there.
There are a number of posters on this thread that have stated they wouldn't go there (ever). I'm sure if they were alive in Malcolm time that would be their stance.

Regarding the issue on sex and IR - the number one reason (in the Uk IMO) is sex.
I will agree that some black women maybe freaks. But in the Uk through all walks of life whether on the street, in clubs, in the office a black man will have more success to start a (strictly) sexual relationship with a white woman.

In fact like Malcolm the black men I know would not expect a black woman to accept a no-strings sexual relationship or probably sub-consciously would respect her not to ask.

I agree a black woman love is the best but the