Male perspective on kissing

mi$$ · (#1 (**permalink**))

So ive been with this boy for 3 years. Last month he started being a bit disrepectful towards me and smoking (weed) alot... so anyway one thing he did while going through this 'arrogant phase' was say he didnt wanna kiss no more, i mean totally turned his face away from me whenever i tired ( remember this is after 3 years together) 'sex is more important that kissing' he said . I told him it isnt normal, noway can i have sex with someone who cant even kiss me etc etc and he started kissing again but now his kisses are.. lame (the only word i can think of ) i mean there is no passion OR techinique anymore even though i know hes can be a great kisser!. I guess he only started kissing again at the prospect of no sex.
I know it seems really stupid but im sure any woman would be sad and confused about this. We've had alot of arguements lately but we got back to normal but he still cant kiss me the same.
The only time i didnt wanna kiss someone i was with was when i was about to leave them ! But i asked him if he wanted a break from the relationship an he said 'no stop being silly' ...
I just dont know what his problem is really was wondering if any of you guys could explain or suggest whats going on in that male brain of his cause im lost and just like sex is important in a relationship kissing definately is !

Miss Nellia · (#2 (**permalink**))

Ok... I know I'm not male but I just wanted to say something...... no offense but could the problem be with you.... if he used to kiss you and now he's stopped, maybe something is putting him off..... Otherwise if he was a 'kisser' before what would make him stop now???

Slobbering has never really been high on my agenda, but I do know it happens during sex, and that's perfectly natural thing to do for most people, but it's not that absolute and other people don't like kissing at all, not even during sex.

Ok I'm out....

***I'm already laughing coz I can just imaging some of the responses from certain men here*** lmaoooo

blessingfromgod · (#3 (**permalink**))

Im not a guy either, but maybe none of them have replied because they also dont have a clue. It doesn't sound as though he's got another, but then again I dont know. Why has he stopped kissing you; when you both used to enjoy this oral exchange. He starts smoking cannabis in your presence, which he knows you hate, he now feels sex is more important than showing basic affection - kissing, you have been together for three years.

The only thing I can think of is:
Have you indicated that you want the r/ship to go to the next level? If so maybe his withdrawal is suggesting he is not ready, so, he's demoting it to just a casual relation " 'sex is more important that kissing' he said"

Naturally, there is more to this story than you have told us, but with what you have given, the above is all I can think of.

Miss Nellia · (#4 (**permalink**))

[quote=blessingfromgod;1449708][color="MediumTurquoise"]Im not a guy either, but maybe none of them have replied because they also dont have a clue.

LOL hmmmmm, beginning to wonder......

Footprints · (#5 (**permalink**))

Not a man either...Have to agree with BFG's points. I remember sometime ago a girlfriend called me complaining that her man had stopped holding her hand in public, and she wanted to know if was losing interest, which wasnt the case. well relationships go through seasons,in the beginning some couples seem to find more to time to explore each other, but after a couple of years you fall into a routine the sex could still be hot but things do change slightly.Thats why its important to keep things spicey...LOL . Dont know if kissing is the real problem though Mi$$.

blaze · (#6 (**permalink**))

I'm a man but i don't know the answer.

mi$$ · (#7 (**permalink**))

Ah well thanks for your input. But all of your suggestions ive already thought of with no luck

I dont think its my technique.. we kiss the same way we always have, my tougue is never down his throat infact too much slobber turns me off so..

We dont really set plans for how serious the relationship is because you know how the years fly by... after three years you realise ..wow its serious lol. And i havnt asked him for any 'new' commitments.

He just randomly turned his face away one day and from then its never been the same

He never liked to do things in public but i wasnt too bothered. But noway am i going to be in a relationship without any kissing, its just not normal and he doesnt seem to understand
( And btw lol i dont give him head, and if i did i wouldnt expect him to kiss me after !)

I never saw my self having to ASK a man to kiss me im still in shock right now because i just dont have a clue what his problem is and none of my female friends do either, infact none of my close male friends know either !!

Kunjufu · (#8 (**permalink**))

Mi$$: here are two BIG clues...

1. he smokes "WEED" Hmmm [touches corner of mouth with small pinky finger and thinks drug induced paranoia]

2. Maybe he has someone else and kissing you, would give the GAME away..

*$HaNnY_Bu* · (#9 (**permalink**))

Sorry to be blunt, but maybe he doesnt want you to kiss his lips, but his u know what instead. Just a thought. Theres something i want to say, but it might be a little close to the edge!

DtotheJ · (#10 (**permalink**))

quick thing about the weed

does he smoke with friends....lighting blunts and passing them around?

I don't smoke and if I did, I wouldn't puff puff pass....not too hygienic.

dudes cutting open cigar...placing weed.....rolling up....licking it...and then putting lips to it and handing it to another man?

nah....

if he's puffing blunts with his boys....perhaps he 's doing you a favor by not kissing you..

BUT to answer your query....ASK him directly what the issue is....nobody here can answer your concerns better than him....