Its not that big a deal to me. But if I met a woman who expressed sentiments along the lines of "rah rah I want to keep my name, rah rah", it would tell me all I needed to know about the chick.

See ya laters, I'd say

Chi, what if a owolowo-uche meets a odonkor-chinwe, do they combine their names to form a super surname along the lines of owolowo-uche-odonkor-chinwe?? LOL

I support women's rights I really do. But not at the expense of common f-cking sense.

Hmm very emotive and leading language, which is not MY starting point...and I also put it to you that it could be argued that your FEMENIST line is also WESTERN in values and idealogy.... So if i'm reading this correctly you're challenging me on my so called western values with the use of western idealogy...is it me or does that not smack of a contradiction..

I dont really get what you are saying above astmartins.

Stickup kid, relationships are an interaction between people, if you are marrying someone, you should at least be able to lay concerns of all parties out openly and come to a suitable arrangement, even if its not a perfect one.


Owolowo-Uche and odonkor chinwe, would be far ahead since they both have already been introduced to the world of double barrelled names......lol

For me, its not simply about equality. I dont really want to go into it too much here.

Away from that though,my decision is even more cemented should I end up marrying someone with a non African surname, I will NEVER ever rid my African surname name for a European one. Not only that but I will not be standing by while my children answer European surnames.........no can do.

You can call me what you like.

Wouldn't you take on his last name AND become Yoruba as well?

@Chi
I dont really get what you are saying above astmartins.

Looks pretty straightforward to me..what bits didn't you understand now you confuse me

I would take his last name after mine hopefully, I would not become Yoruba, my children would be half Yoruba half Igbo.

My sister's husband is Yoruba, she is still Igbo and their daughter is half Yoruba half Igbo.......simple.

Marrying an Ashante man does not make me Ashante.......

The part about being dragged back to the wedding destination.......I didn't understand that at all. Maybe you can explain astmartins?

Now..now....you are not answering my questions...trying to avoid it are you? How are my questions emotive and leading? If it is a tradition of your forefathers and mothers, surely it would be as easy as drinking a glas of water......so please, answer my questions.

By the way, can't a woman have a say anymore without the anti feminist gibrish accusations? My arguement is based on TRADITIONAL and CULTURAL values of my people.....i knew my stand on this before i ever set my foot on European soil....so please, lets not go there. I simply believe in practicing what one preaches....you want Africa, then go ALL the way...

PS: I am not in anyway saying African traditions in marriages are the utopias of traditions. We all know how some African husbands tend to take the piss in their marriages. My only point here that the tradition of women taking their husbands' names are not African in origin. Cheers

LMAO.............................

what I'm saying is check this out a friend's fiancee orchestrated having the wedding in the Pacifics as per the Nigeria scenario say i end up with a Igbo or Hausa girl theres no doubt where the wedding ceremony would be taking place yep!!...in her folks place and that could mean travelling to wherever whenever but ay!!..we dare not say nothing after all its tradition however when it comes to you guys you cleverly manipulate the African culture to suit your arguments maybe not you but @mez has..bottom line if you get a crass man having his last name or not wouldn't mean a thang....

As I said before my sister is Igbo, she married a Yoruba. They had traditional ceremonies and they were held in London. You see, its called compromise. If there is a real issue, it should be dealt with simple.

If my husband to be had a real issue with going to my fathers place, I would think we would be adult enough and mature enough to come to an arrangement which is at least comfortable for us.

He would ofcourse have to have enough balls to open his mouth and tell me, instead of expecting me to read minds.

I know a Nigerian couple who have gotten married on the Indian ocean, it was something they wanted and they are adults.........

@chi
Well thats cool that your sis and hubby did the traditional thing here but thats not always the case and where peoples parents reside plays a big part in that decision
Trust me women calls the shots when it comes to where the BIG DAY is taking place


He would of course have to have enough balls to open his mouth and tell me, instead of expecting me to read minds.

Of course not he wouldn't!!!...he wouldn't want to make his bride feel downcast (you know you guys have the minds of elephants)can you imagine the poor bloke saying NO!!


I know a Nigerian couple who have gotten married on the Indian ocean, it was something they wanted and they are adults.........

Mmmhhh..I like this one guess who's idea it was??