Hello all,

Im interested in people views on hair....why do women espcially black women spend soo much time and money on their hair? Do blackWOMEN prefer to wear their hair natural or relaxed?
Do you resent people who have naturally softer or longer hair than yours? MEN what are your views on this issue? Do you like women with long hair? Do you like women with natural hair? What about weave sisters?

The reason I have posted this topic is because hair has been an issue in my life since I was young...I had always had very thick long hair...I have been teased and picked on because of it...even now when I walk down the street people ask me is that your real hair or weave? Ihave even lost some friends because of the jealous comments I have received...I have been to hair dressers and the vengeful staff have used harsh products to damage my hair? I got ill on 1occassion and my hair actually started falling out...I lost all my confidence because of it...although it was only a short term problem it became even more of an issuefor me .... so I ask again people what are your views? confused3

@Stylishsista

This one was done just short while ago! I think it was on the Mens Forum "Natural Hair..Love it or Hate it". Maybe you should have a look for it.

You cant listen to what people say out there. Most opinions not worth listening to I find! Apart from the good people on this Forum I hasten to add!

Sista I got Locs down to my Bum, and Ignorant people still come and ask if I got extensions!! sport-smiley

Oh its been done... I had no idea...but its a big issue within our community because black people style their hair to make a fashion statement, reflect their personalities, emulate the european/american image of what is beautiful...you know the blond hair and all!! What about braids now the caucasians are emulating black people hairstyles with the braiding? It funny I had a conversation with my Turkish collegue and she was worried because her hair was breaking and falling out...I dont know why, but I never even thought white people hair breaks (silly me duh)!! We even dicussed Stars like Halle Berry and Demi Moore who have had short hair and Demi was bald at one point...yet they still have a widespread appeal and sexiness about them!! But most women would rather die than cut the locks...anyway I'll take a look at the topic you were telling me about!!blktrainers

i love doing my hair up and getting my hair done. i currently sport a relaxer. but its because ia m used to it. also from time time i extend via braids canerows etc. next thing will be a weave just to try it. i will not be using no bonding glue as my hair has not got the tenacity for it.

spend all this time on my hair because my mans he has got gorgeous hair naturally and there is no way my mans hair can look good without mine.blkdevillol

Ive had natural hair for about 9 years now and I love it..It's Healthy full very thick and long...I love versatility of my hair and being able to wash and go whenever is a plus, It does take alot of hard work taking care of it the same as you would havinga relaxer. I do know what you mean stylishsista Hair is sucha major issue usfor black women I mean from the images we see on tv and society as theEuropean guideline to follow. We are taught automatically to dislike ourtightly coily natural hair. As a child I've always had longthick healthy hairand I've never really experience peeps being negative towards me cause of my hair except forjealousyissue. but It never was a big deal to me..Nowhave friendswho's experienceare little different,she haslong naturallycurly hair and every since she was a child peeps used to always ask her ifshe wasmixed or what is she?(truthfullyshe does appear to lookIndian) but shes black, bothher parents are black, but it was kindaconfusing for her why peeps because of the texture of her hair judge her to be another race. I remember one incident she mentionedwere this whitechick was juststaring at her, and my friend asked why are you looking at me? she said...get this...., she had never since a blackwomen with reallong hairbeforeshe said she always thought because of tvblack women wore weaves ...and this is trueit turned out shecamefrom a small rural townpredominately white no blacks.

Iwas skimmingthis interesting book called "Hair Matters" talks about how Black women and the views we have about our hairshould check it out..blkthumbsup

Thanks for your replies Lady Day and Laila

Lady Day are you in competition with your man as to who can sport the best hairstyle ..lol
I hear what your saying though about experimenting with different hairstyles... Do you think your hairstyle reflects your personality? Do you feel good when you get your hair done? I mean when a lot of women are feeling down a trip to the hair dressers can be seen as a treat to make them feel better....I remember last year...I decided to cut off my long locks...now I thought long and hard about it...but decided it would be a nice change...I thought that if i cut my hair I wouldnt get the same amount of attention from guys (I was insecure at that point...not that I needed to get attention from guys to tell me I look good though!!)but I have to admit it was an issue!! But nowI love my short hair....its much easier to manage much healthier and fuller!!

Laila where is the article you are refering to? itssound really interesting...I would love to have natural hair though...sometimes you just wanna wash and go...I suppose I could cut if off again ....it will grow back...thats what hair does!!

It's actually a book called "Hair Matters" by Ingrid Banks

If you need any hair advice don't hestiate to ask!niceone.gif

stylishsista i am not really in competition with my man for who can sport the best look. but you git to admit when a man has his look sorted you cant be tramping it up by his side lol

but seriously though when my hair looks good i do feel even better. in fact i like it when people can see my hair and talk about how good it looks. white people and asian just seemed to be so in awe, and always say gosh you seem to have a different hairstyle everyday bla bla bla. my brothas and sistahs no the score. but what gives me joke is when this asian girl at work says is that a weave. i was like no black people do have hair. my hair was in its usual relax state shoulder length ends curled under looking slick shiny and healthy. i did not take that as a compliment. I have friends who are full black with hair down to there. I have only met one white person who in converstion with others and myself spoke of how jealous she was of this girl who was black because her hair was just so long thick shiny and hers just did niot reach no where. my man will tell me if he does not like my hair or what i intend to do it. most times he likes it and dont complain. plus he should be grateful that i am not letting myself go.

i love going hairdressers. its like being pampered for the day . my hairdressers are lovely and they listen to what i say about my hair and give good advise too on hair that is

when my hair is getting done i feel it is in state but when it is done i feel it is fanatastic.

i would say getting your hair done is in the same line as getting your nails done having a facial, maasage, shopping.

Thanks Laila I will look for it and check it out!!

Lady Day I hear what you are saying you know the black woman has to upstage her man...lol
Nah but its a good feeling when your hair is freshly done ....and you get complimented, you just feel like your floating on air...and your just getting plenty of well deserved attention from people!! Getting you hair done accentuates your beauty, it is definately extremely thrapeautic...you can go into a salon looking like you been run down by a bus and come out transformed looking like a new woman and once you look good, your persona is automatically transformed!!

Hey Steath Black you like em all dontcha ..lol I guess you just like a woman who takes pride in her appearance...its the same with sista about guys ...we like them to make a effort with their appearance and the hairstyle definately matters...no woman wants a picky headed man...Me personally I like a man with very short hair a number 1 (i think thats what you call it) oh and I love the fades yall do...very sexy!! @ Stealth when you were getting wild with this chick did you pull on her hair?...I dont know why guys like to do that!! I guess yall just let the passion get the better of you...lolblkexercise

Stealth ...

Because of my hair type men like to stroke, touch, and even pull on my hair...yes I like it to look good...but sometimes people get carried away with the moment and in my experience...it just makes the sex more exciting lol!! Stealth does it bother you that you are restricted in that sense when you making love to your girl?

The problem with my hair is its too Europeanised, its too much like white peoples, it blows in the wind, its soft to touch full bouncy and has volume too much at times...this is why guys run their fingers through my hair, or pull on it...being a black female sometimes I say we can get wild but dont touch the hair...but then again...when you do the wild thang you dont really want any restrictions...you want to enjoy each others bodies ...hair included!!

However when you have sex you normally work up a sweat and the hairstyle is ruined anyway...This is why I try and stay away from the gym because my hair goes really frizzy and bushy when it is sweated out and I usually pay for it afterward when my hair is tangle as a result...

Females do you find your hair a hindrance because it stops you from doing really active sporty things, like going to the gym, going swimming etc...

i dont find my hair a hindrence at all. i cant swim so you would rarely see me in a pool. and when i do go to waddle in some chlorine water my hair is plied with some conditioner. my hair aint european in any shape or form. my hair is manageable (my hairdresser seems to love it )not bothered if my man runs his hands through mine. afterall its not a problem to re-style it.

I have had every kind of hair style going and every colour too. I come from a family of long hair and mine was the only one that was short. Short back and sides and my family complained the whole time. That one was easy to look after. I've had the weaves, the cornrows, the single plaits and am currently wearing my hair longish and relaxed after growing it in cornrows. I have my hair to suit my moods, and although I'm not fussy, my mum used to say "your hair is your beauty" meaning that no matter what you do with it, it must always look good.

Kinda stuck on what to do next tho. blkheadbang

Wow short back and side...what a dramatic look ...girl you have got some guts...you must be extremely pretty to pull offt look off...as it lays the focus on your face!! But I guess the hairstyle you choose has a lot to do with being comfortable...I have fought with my hair on many occassions and have wanted to try that look but could never go through with it!! I definately have to give you your props girl....Have you ever thought about getting locks....One of my friends has just started the process and it looks damn good not to mention its a natural hairstyle!! Well I would love to know what you decide!!