lovers, lovers and friends....... just friends?

Cims · (#1 (**permalink**))

ok heres da problem...

I just got a phone call today from my ex boyfriend, who just got out of prison-dont dwell on that, i beg.:P

Anyway me and him used to be proper tight friends, when we were young, families were tight! weekends together, cinema, swimming, sleep oversetc.

Then we got 'grown', decided we were ready for big people relationship, wit big people issues, @ likkle, likkle age, (17)lol

we were together 4 almost 2 years.... nuff problems.... big emotional rollercoater, (but im a cancerian, so everything is a emotional roller coaster!!!blkangry)

anyway i broke up wit him, he has had a child, been away etc. I have moved on.............. i think:?

he phones me saying he misses me, we were tight friends before, we have been through so much, we should be friends again.

My question is: is this possible.....?blkwonder

serious responses please, again dont dwell on da criminal record, itsA issue but not THE issue right about now.bigno

P.S I kno someone (ie black power

) will start chatting bout da physical side of da relationship......lolbighairlol

dimoke · (#2 (**permalink**))

Ahh this is tricky.....I noticed in your post you said that you THINK you have moved on:?......THINK???? If you still thinking then keep away....unless you want to go through the drama again?confused2But i doubt thats what you want.....so either you BOTH decide that its definetly over between the sheets and cultivate a friendship or lie to yourselves at your own heart's risk......

I have been through a similar thing with my ex......family so tight he even calls me mom his mom......known him since i was little, anyway, we finish and agreed to be friends.....HOWEVER....the man was not obviouly over the relationship and would send cards...marriage proposal after every so called friendly phone calls......Then i decided to put a stop to it......now i send him my hellos and best wishesthrough mymother.....and don't talk to him much....going around the circle isnot good for neither of us.....

I think especially when you both are young, you should move along rather than going in a circle of emotional turmoil.......ifyou are still weary of what kind of friendshipyou will have, then examine your feelings first before saying yes......otherwise you could be creating thesame situation all over again....

Hope that made sense....lol, i am crap at relationships advice....

Cims · (#3 (**permalink**))

hey dimoke, thanks for your reply, made a lot of sense!

Anyway I just got off da phone 2him after a 1hr 1/2 convo. it was a bit tense, as I still have issues bout some stuff he did but towards da end it was jokes! We laughed bout mad stuff we used to do, agreed our constant arguements were silly etc. It was really nice. he seems to have turned into the man that I actually wanted him to be @ the time we were together... go figure!!!

Anyway he said he wants to see me, just as friends.... not sure, think its moving a bit fast... but da mad thing is when he asked, I said no, but in my head i was thinking sh*t, ive put on a few pounds, my hair looks a mess, what shoes will i wear.... can I afford new ones (any excuse to shop!!)....

Call it female intutition but i think this one is gona be a roller coaster....:?

Tupelo_Honey · (#4 (**permalink**))

Cims wrote:

Quote:

Then we got 'grown', decided we were ready for big people relationship, wit big people issues, @ likkle, likkle age, (17)lol

we were together 4 almost 2 years.... nuff problems.... big emotional rollercoater, (but im a cancerian, so everything is a emotional roller coaster!!!blkangry)

Quote:

Starting up up new friendship relationship with this guy is going tobe sooooooo hard because its always going toremindyou of the "emotional rollercoaster"you were on before. If you only THINKyou areover this then stay well clear because it could only take one well placed memory to pull you back into a romantic relationship youmight notwant to be in.

Quote:

Plus this all started when u were 17! so im guessing it wasyour first long-term relationship (i know its just an assumption). Soyou need to be out there "testing the waters". This guymight be perfect for u.......

Quote:

.......and he might not, but u won't knowuntilyou have new experiences to compare him to.

chanz · (#5 (**permalink**))

trust ur instincts....frienship aint gonna wotk, especially of you guys have had and emotional and physical relationship! sound like your already getting those warning signs, u dont wanna be hearing i told u so in a few months when its all over!choice is yoursconfused3

Miss-Chieveous! · (#6 (**permalink**))

awww yous guys sounded like you were sooooooo cute together! i think you should give love a second go round. u have too much history to just chuck away. if it don't work out then it don't work out, but it is better than a life lived in "what ifs..." esp. as you say he seems like the man u want him to be now. Go on, you know you want to... checking your shoes and shit lol

Cims · (#7 (**permalink**))

Miss-Chieveous! wrote:

Quote:

Go on, you know you want to... checking your shoes and shit lol

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I know... Im crazy! Well its my sisters wedding in like 2weeks so truesay da fam r still tight its only right i invite him, right? confused3Im thinking ill b looking SO good banana.gif(new garms.... most importantly new shoes.... offtopic.gifsomeone should start a thread, on how & y new shoes and some nice earrings can just make an outfit!!), so will he, plus its in a platonic atmosphere ie although its a romantic setting, it wont b a date he will kno other peeps etc. Plus my ma will be there, and she is very weary of da situation, so she will keep an eye on me!!! Do y'all think this is a good idea? Or should i see him b4.... or not @ all?

dimoke · (#8 (**permalink**))

@Cims.....hon, i thought u already knew the answer??confused3

Cims · (#9 (**permalink**))

I will see him..... yep.... but da wedding. good idea?

dimoke · (#10 (**permalink**))

Oh i see, so are you seing him as a friend or what?confused2

And about the wedding, well i think a wedding is the last place i would want to take a man i am not so sure about.......duno....weddings make people do and think silly emotional thoughts.....be careful.....

Mafdet · (#11 (**permalink**))

I say put yourself through a tough test keep away from him for a min of 1 month that includes no calls to each other and see how you feel after a month.......see he just got out of prison I know you said not to harp on this but put a man in prison and see how fast their sensitive side comes to surface on female contact......do you see what I am saying here. Test yourself and him as well stay away from each other for a while and see if you still feel this way after. Plus Cims you need to stop forcusing on the physical side etc of how you look and don't worry about throughing history away this fact is not good enough to base this relationship on, your still very young and got plenty of time to find a good stable relationship. Remember now this is about you not him and don't go down that road of feeling sorry for him you didn't put him in prison so I say take a break from him and see how your life would continue as if you didn't get that call from him.

Choices by Zebra

ChubbiChix · (#12 (**permalink**))

See, never date friends. It will be drama and relationships by themselves have to much already. I have male friends and we tight light glue but when it comes to relationships with them, thats off limits even if they push up on you say no. You not over this due either, just by the sheer fact that you made a thread about him. You and him can never be just friends again because its to many emotions involved and you better off staying away from him totally.