Why do people want to play games when they're trying to get to know someone? In my experience it has never added any value to the experience and generally tends to mark the beginning of the end.

Example:

I met a guy and we exchanged numbers. We spoke regularly, and we really got on well over the phone. One day, he said he would call me (even specified date and time) and it was 6 weeks before I heard from him again. Although I wasn't impressed that he didn't keep to his word, I wasn't bothered by the fact that he hadn't called - he wasn't my man, and nor did heowe me anything. What annoyed me was that when I asked him what had happened, he said it was 'a test' to see if I liked him. He decided that if I liked him then I would have called. What's most annoying is, we're both full grown adults (I'm in my 20s and he's 30), and I had already told him on more than one occassion that I enjoyed our conversations. Why play childishgames? Just ask me and I will tell you straight! The actual reason why I never called him is because I never said I would! He had said he would call me, but didn't see fit to do so,so I had decided to let it be.

Shortly after that happened I approached a male friend and asked him what it meant (for him) if he told a woman he would call, but then never did. He told me that if he did that to a woman it would be because he wasn't really into her but couldn't be bothered to have that conversation with her. He would be hoping that eventually she would get the hint when he never called her again or picked up her calls.

Nobody I know is able to read minds, so what is the point of not being straight with each other? What one man might see as a black and white 'test' of a woman's level of interest, another man sees as a way to shake her off. So if men can't even agree on the game rules, how are we supposed to know what they're playing at?

Has anyone else got examples of annoying games (I have plenty), or a way to end the games, or does anyone who plays these kind of games have any comments on why?

thanks for the welcome!

ButI must point out that although I never called him I wasn't annoyed with him for not calling me. If he didn't want to talk to me that was his prerogative and I can't be mad at him for that. What annoyed me was that the only reason he didn't call me was to 'test' me. How arrogant! He could have quite simply said "do you like me?" and we could have spent that 6 weeks getting to know each other better instead of giving me 6 weeks to lose all respect for him.

Sometimes I think some men actually prefer drama to straight-forwardness and honesty. Personally if I want drama I rent a DVD - I have much better things to offer a man in a relationships than arguments and mind-games.

Hi DSP

The reason that I didn't call him is because I've seen some crazy women who can't take a hint chasing and chasing after a man that doesn't want her.

I NEVER want to be one of those women.

If you say you're going to call me, but then you decide not to, then I just have to assume you don't want to continue getting to know me.

If I knew him better and I thought he was usually reliable about things like that, then I definitely would have called him to check he was okay.

Mmmmm agree with blackpower....

why are women sooo afraid of rejection... the sooner you get it or dont get it the truth...

ive always thouhgt women have so much bigger ego's than guys when it comes to that aspect...
i didnt call because that would make you think you're too nice....
whereas i think... call because u want to or dont call because you dont want to.... not because of wht i or dude might think....
trust me men arent really that intricate to think about niceness... and all that... if i have ur number i will call when i said i will or something happened that is preventing me from callin....
mmmm
man the games women play...
over complicate things...

@bubz...

Mmmmmm yes i agree he was playin a game... i was just going off on a tangent of sorts... I know through experience some women will feel a way to call first even though they really really wanted to... which to me makes no sense...
in this particular scenario yes i think the dude is silly..... he obviously wasnt feelingthe gurl... real men dont play games like that...hmmmm.. but sayin that if she was interested as well why couldnt she call...

I am with Lucas on this, if he was interested in you he would have called, trust me nothing including illness, family tragedy anything awful you can think of would have stopped him. He was also not playing a game, there was no test.... he simply did not call because he just wasn't that in to you. I can also bet that when he eventually called it was probably because he was bored and or had sometime to kill while waiting for the bus or the leaves to be cleared of the train tracks.

And the reason why so many games are played is simply because too many people are giving out numbers to what I call “spares� which are people you don’t exactly have any connection with but will do to pass the time until the real part comes along types. With the person you feel connection with there is no pride, no game, if he/she didn’t call the first thing you’d think will not be “typical man or woman, followed by cursing� you’d probably be worried that something could have happened to them, and you’d want to know they’re alright…….. that’s why you would have called.

So I also agree with DM, you both playing silly games. He promising to call even though he had no intention to and you saying you connected with the person (I am assuming that’s what you were hinting at when you told him you enjoyed his conversation on more than one occasion) even thou when he disappeared for six weeks you didn’t even pick up the phone to find out if he was alright.

Gsss

I am thinking as a grown woman you should be taking lead role in your own life and not worry about whether others want to be part of it or not.

I am saying if something bothers you enough or you want it bad enough then you wouldn’t wait, wonder, speculate you just go with it/for it and if it doesn’t yield fruit then you have lost nothing but gained time and knowledge. It’s really that simple.

Hey Respect, Love and Peace,

Welcome and HAPPY VILLAGER DAY!

I agree with the others in that both people in this situation seem to play a game of some sort. I have found that the key is really in the communication. In the situation you gave it seems you really did like him but you said it in your way which was that you liked the conversation. He may not have liked you in the same way but instead of saying that from the beginning he told you he was testing.

If he didn't say he'd call you wouldn't have had the expectation that you did. You know how we can think on things haard sometimes when he's fogotten seconds after you were talking LOL.

Ifwe have too high an expectation of others then we must expect to be let down.

LOL...annoying relationship games????

You just exchanged numbers ain't no relationship a go here....