Do We Love Housework Or Is A Woman Being Related To Chores Putting Us Off

Woman X · (#1 (**permalink**))

I am a glutton for punsihment...my house is very clean...yes I do go on my fours and wipe the floors, sweep, vacuum clean and dust. I cook, iron and so forth. This is not a manifesto...so I will get to the point. I was recently chatting to a lady friend and she informed me with a genuinely worried look that she was looking for some recipes that she could use to spin a meal in no time...I of course filled her in on possibilities...She then embarked on asking if I knew of a cleaning company. My curiousity taking the better of me made me ask if she has a company and was looking for a cleaner...she informed me that it was for her home and that since she is having her man over for the first time. She went on to add that she needed someone to tidy up and if so cook. Now I do have access to information about all these services but it must be because of that old upbringing where you had to cook and tidy and know how to have things in order. I dont look down on housework, the thought of others doing my chores is an expense that I would rather forgo and my abilty to do it is a convenience. Unless I was holding a party....and thats like 30 or more people...

So am wondering is it still 'in' to do household chores??? or has society 'beaten' so women about that housework is seen as appalling and so 'yesterday?'

Black_Power · (#2 (**permalink**))

lol so society would somehow "beat" women into thinking housework isnt cool eh?

your going like your doing something special by cleaning your house...now that says more about todays society then anything else in your post.

Vezz. · (#3 (**permalink**))

Funnily enough, this is the subject of the latest "disagreement" between me and Hubby.

Below is a snapshot of my day Monday to Friday:

6.00 - 7.30 wake up & get into shower
8.00 make sure Number One Son has finished breakfast, and feed Number Two Son, change him and get ready for the day
8.15 - 8.30 child-minded children arrive to be taken to school
8.40 - 9.15 school runs
9.30 - 12.00 depending on day, either wiggle & jiggle/rhymetime/playgroup/library (for Number Two Son) or meeting with clients. Lunch
12.00 - 2.30 Number Two Son nap/client's accounting
2.45 - 3.45 school run
3.45 - 6.00 childminding
6.00 - 6.30 dinner/homework
6.45 - 8.30 gym (dependant on day)
8.30 - 10.00 cleaning
10.00 - ? client's accounting

Weekends

all day swimming/football/socialising/COOKING & CLEANING (both days)/client's accounting

Hubby's weekday (until 3 weeks ago)

6.30 - 7.00 leave for work
8.00 - 5.30 work as an electrician
6.00 - 7.00 go home/his mum's/gym
9.00 - ? play Halo 3

Hubby's weekend

? - ? play Halo 3

I've told Hubby to either help out more or we get a cleaner - he prefers the latter and if he pays then so be it.

Classic is tonight. Asked Hubby to bathe the baby. After 2 hours of procrastinating (during which time I'd bathed Number One Son/completed some Intrastats /cleaned the kitchen & mopped the whole house), I was informed that "he was falling asleep" (translated means "I couldn't be bothered with a full bath, so hosed him down in the shower instead").

Grrrrrrrrrr

wifeable · (#4 (**permalink**))

ur hubby should help you out seems like you have a big work load and he plays computer on the weekend. He needs to go on wife swap especially paying attention to the "rule change" week- whip his can't be bother self into shape!

Melissa · (#5 (**permalink**))

KMT! & LMAO!

I am alone with two kids, i don't have the luxury of going to the gym, picking my kids up from school or employing a cleaner to do my housework.

I get up at 5.30am, to work out in my front room, and go to bed at 11.30pm after working full time (8.30am - 7.30pm door to door), feeding the kids after i've picked them up, doing the homework, my own freelance work and CLEANING MY HOUSE - which includes, tidying, dishes, floors, washing clothes, ironing etc.

Weekends my kids have their activities all day sat & sun, i have to take my mum shopping, do my grandmothers chores, and i make time to socialise with my friends on occasions, but my house is always clean. Summertime, factor in gardening to that list.

Sorry to be blunt (that's just me!) - but what you guys are talking about is NASTINESS! I clean my house and make sure the kids clean with me as a matter of routine - i don't like dirt, diseases or rats!

Wifeable - if your friend needs to employ a cleaner just get her house ready for one date i'd advise you to tell the guy not to nyam no food round deh!

Vezz - i'd understand your pain if your hubby was a bum, but it seems to me he works a full day too. Kids are a full time job, but as a mother that is your duty. If you want to take on extra work more power to you as a strong women, just deal with it. i'm working towards ditching my 9-5 and doing exactly what your doing. Your life is my dream, appreciate it. Housework works off a lot of calories, why can't your gym time go towards that and save money on that subscription?

Someone on here told me i was not 'selfless' for putting my kids needs before my own as it is what i am supposed to do as a parent. And here you guys are complaining about basic cleaning duties LOL!

Black_Power · (#6 (**permalink**))

hmm didnt know you were single..

Vezz. · (#7 (**permalink**))

Wow @ Melissa - just didn't expect those sort of comments from you!

First off, I've been in your exact same position, and I did get on with it. However, why the hell should I be running up & down cleaning when I'm not the only person living here??? Number One Son cleans his room and hoovers, Number Two son is learning to put his toys away, so why shouldn't a grown man help clean the house??

I have two jobs, plus the housework. I could understand if I were a stay-at-home Mum, but I'm not. My husband is a lazy sod, who would leave his clothes on the floor if I let him! I'm not asking him to polish etc, but he could at least hoover once in a while, but I literally have to cuss him to do that!

Oh, and your comment about "extra work" made me laugh! Do you think my husband's salary alone could keep this household running? I don't want to do accounting or childminding, but have to to bring some money into this house. Maybe I'm fortunate enough to have a career I can do from home, but that doesn't mean I have to forsake my own sanity by doing everything else.
My husband's salary covers the mortgage - all other bills are paid by me (with my little extra work, y'know!).

With regard to the gym, if I'm selfish in wanting some time to myself so be it. Just because you want to spend every waking minute with your kids doesn't mean everyone else does! Remember, you go out to work - if I didn't have my "extra work" I'd vegetate in the house doing housework all day!

Your comments were patronising to say the least and, as I said before, totally unexpected from you.

Afriki · (#8 (**permalink**))

My philosophy is simple. Whoever has the most "dead-time" at home takes on a few extra chores, and EVERYBODY cleans up after themselves.
Just because you work during the day is no excuse for getting up and leaving your dishes at the table, throwing your clothes on the floor, and leaving wet towels on the floor in the bathroom, rinse your dish off so it doesn't get crusty for whoever will be doing the dishes, or wash it if you have the time. Damn! At least clean up after yourself. That's all I ask w/anyone I am living with.

House-hold chores such as sweeping and the sort is different. Whoever has the most free-time and doesn't mind doing it should do it. But things that involve personal messes I have no patience for....clean yourself up! You better believe I am going to teach my children the same thing.

I used to have a live-in boyfriend who, after I cooked, would not clean any dishes, including his own, and would actually get up from the table and leave his dishes in my face and go sit on the computer 10 ft away. One day I did not pick up his dish from dinner and it sat there until he came up the next evening. Unacceptable!
BTW, he had a full-time job and I had a part-time job, was a full-time student, and had extra-curricular activities I was a part of. So I had work when I came home still. We also paid half of our bills EQUALLY, so he was not putting any more money into the household than myself, so I don't see how he equated his "earning more money" to me being his personal maid...I never saw that money, and never asked for it. That just meant he had more money to buy more things for himself than I could for myselft.

I'm not bitter lol.

Melissa · (#9 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vezz.

Wow @ Melissa - just didn't expect those sort of comments from you!

First off, I've been in your exact same position, and I did get on with it. However, why the hell should I be running up & down cleaning when I'm not the only person living here??? Number One Son cleans his room and hoovers, Number Two son is learning to put his toys away, so why shouldn't a grown man help clean the house??

I have two jobs, plus the housework. I could understand if I were a stay-at-home Mum, but I'm not. My husband is a lazy sod, who would leave his clothes on the floor if I let him! I'm not asking him to polish etc, but he could at least hoover once in a while, but I literally have to cuss him to do that!

Oh, and your comment about "extra work" made me laugh! Do you think my husband's salary alone could keep this household running? I don't want to do accounting or childminding, but have to to bring some money into this house. Maybe I'm fortunate enough to have a career I can do from home, but that doesn't mean I have to forsake my own sanity by doing everything else.
My husband's salary covers the mortgage - all other bills are paid by me (with my little extra work, y'know!).

With regard to the gym, if I'm selfish in wanting some time to myself so be it. Just because you want to spend every waking minute with your kids doesn't mean everyone else does! Remember, you go out to work - if I didn't have my "extra work" I'd vegetate in the house doing housework all day!

Your comments were patronising to say the least and, as I said before, totally unexpected from you.

Rah - did i touch a raw nerve?

My comments were made based on your time line and truth, not meant to be patronising in any way. You just sounded kinda selfish to be honest.

Extra work means anything additonal to your no.1 job as you have 2 jobs one of them would be the 'extra' work, don't take the comment in a bad way, it wasn't meant to be.

Your husbands salary only pays for the mortgage! The roof over your head! Don't belittle his contribution for the sake of a clean carpet, i pay my own mortgage plus bills, i'd love for that to be taken care of in exchange for washing the dishes or picking up some clothes.

Your husband is a lazy sod - did you not know this before you married him? lol! So he has his faults, being lazy and messy, but he is your husband for a good reason. I'm sure your husband is not in the minority of men who do not clean up after themselves. I can understand you moaning, but i can't see where you have a BIG problem. My father can cook cornmeal porridge and that's it, doubt if he knows how to use the toaster. my mother was a childminder like you, as well as cooking , cleaning and looking after the rest of us, she hardly went out either, apart from her lickle bingo thing one a week. My dad went to work, came home ate his dunner and sat in front of the TV every day. She never complained. he never did any housework, he helped us with homework occasionally, and did some DIY when needed, but that was about it.

Now, my mother and father are older, both retired, they go out more, crusies, holidays twice a year. She has taught him how to cook, they season up the meat together on a sat night, he hoovers, washes the windows etc. and i see them enjoying life. If my mother made a big issue of the housework back then, im certain they wouldn't be together now. Maybe your situation needs a little patience.

Also, not sure about your hubby, but most men over 30 grew up old fashioned, men brought home the money, women did the housework, their mothers did everything for them. That family structure was not perfect by today's standards but it worked.

It may seem like i'm being patronising, but you described the family i grew up in and it was a happy one. It amuses and saddens me the more i hear people with families complain about wanting time for themselves, if that's the case why get married and have kids?

PS - I do love spending all my time with my kids, nothing makes me happier, any parent who doesn't shouldn't have had children in the first place.

Shemsi en Tehuti · (#10 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melissa

KMT! & LMAO!

I am alone with two kids, i don't have the luxury of going to the gym, picking my kids up from school or employing a cleaner to do my housework.

I get up at 5.30am, to work out in my front room, and go to bed at 11.30pm after working full time (8.30am - 7.30pm door to door), feeding the kids after i've picked them up, doing the homework, my own freelance work and CLEANING MY HOUSE - which includes, tidying, dishes, floors, washing clothes, ironing etc.

Weekends my kids have their activities all day sat & sun, i have to take my mum shopping, do my grandmothers chores, and i make time to socialise with my friends on occasions, but my house is always clean. Summertime, factor in gardening to that list.

Sorry to be blunt (that's just me!) - but what you guys are talking about is NASTINESS! I clean my house and make sure the kids clean with me as a matter of routine - i don't like dirt, diseases or rats!

Wifeable - if your friend needs to employ a cleaner just get her house ready for one date i'd advise you to tell the guy not to nyam no food round deh!

Vezz - i'd understand your pain if your hubby was a bum, but it seems to me he works a full day too. Kids are a full time job, but as a mother that is your duty. If you want to take on extra work more power to you as a strong women, just deal with it. i'm working towards ditching my 9-5 and doing exactly what your doing. Your life is my dream, appreciate it. Housework works off a lot of calories, why can't your gym time go towards that and save money on that subscription?

Someone on here told me i was not 'selfless' for putting my kids needs before my own as it is what i am supposed to do as a parent. And here you guys are complaining about basic cleaning duties LOL!

First let me say that you sound like a great mother (and potential wife)

...LOL

...but seriously, I was thinking the same thing about Vezz's post. He may think those things aren't his responsibility since he is working a full day. I know if I came home to a wife after my sometimes 10-11 hour day where she stayed home and she couldn't find enough time to tidy up a little, I know I certainly wouldn't be open to doing HER work too. I can see doing the more physical things on the weekends (yard work, big cleanings, etc.), but I can't possibly see a stay-at-home mom not having time to see that the house is in order. If so, it probably means your priorities aren't in order....IMO.

Melissa · (#11 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black_Power

hmm didnt know you were single..

i'm not so stop winking