Hi Everyone.

Just wondering what you ladies would do or if anyone has any ideas/thoughts as to why a man would take off his engagement ring?

I've been in a relationship with my partner for over 5yrs. We got engaged over 4yrs ago and as we knew it was going to be a very long engagement, we both decided to wear rings as a sign of our comitment to the relationship and to each other. For all sense and purposes we live as a married couple....we just haven't signed the paper.

For most part our relationship is a good one and I consider him to be a very good man. He does have faults....as we all do.....but I made a deciscion to stay with him despite the faults I knew of as I didn't consider them to be anything that could rock the foundation of our relationship. I trusted him implicitly and never doubted for one second that he may of or have evenwanted to play away from home. Though I've always know he does like to have and make new female friends.

Anyway,....I was happy and content in our relationship....and finally reaching that place where I feel comfortable to take the next step with him. So last week a colleague of his gave him a photo of him that was taken at work over 15mths ago. I looked at the photo and didn't notice at first....but later realised that the ring was on the other hand. When I asked him why this was..he didn't have an answer. I was absolutely gobsmacked. I felt like this was happening to someone else.....this couldn't possibly be happening to me?! As it turns out the photo was using image reversal...so the ring was on the right hand....BUT.....he continued to tell me that it was no excuse because yes sometimes he DID take his ring off or wear it on the other hand.........When IT Was HURTING HIM??!!! Well, why oh why if he takes it off because its hurting him....why is it he ALAWAYS puts it back on before he gets in the house? Why is it that it doesn't hurt him at home that he has to take it off?!

OF course....I know the answer,....because he's not telling me the whole truth. My mum says he can only give that reason to a fool.....and I'm no fool.

I feel so sick in my stomach to know that over the years I have spoken to female friends about their man taking off their ring...and it always told out that the guy was looking for someone else or was already playing away from home. I cannot believe I am in this situation. I just do not understand why he would do this. I consider myself a very good woman. I'm very attractive, take care of myself, my body is tight, I workout allot, I cook proper food nearly every day, I keep our home spotless, I make sure my hair nails and skin are always looking good, I initiate sex....often, I give BJ's....I take care of our child, I hold down a great job, I don't mind him watching football or playing for hours on his PSP...........what the F*u*K else could he want?

And he swears blind he loves me and is not looking for anyone else. An up until now his actions have shown as much. He NEVER goes out....not anywhere! He goes to work, comes home and thats it. He's always with me and our child....even weekends. For 5yrs!! He' very affectionate....kisses cuddles etc.....compliments me...buys me very expensive presents. So it just doesn't make any sense.

Is there any other reason a man would take off his ring other than to appear single?

I know when I met him he told me he had no kids. After I got emotionally involved it turned out not only diod he have a child....he was also married!! Albeit seperated. But he realed me in and it wasn't until he had me hook line and sinker that he actually filed for divorce. I wonder if he's not doing the same to me....he wants to meet someone but until he does he's keeping our situation sweet. One of his ex's once told me that he was the kind of man who never leaves a woman until he has another to go to!

Or am I just reading too much into this? I really want to believe I am.....as at the moment my heart has shutdown to him. I can't bear to even look at him. And I hate the thought of living in a loveless relationship as I would never leave him...for our childs sake.

You must have a pretty empty life if you're going to notice what hand or finger someone's ring is on.

It's much easier to have an affair when the woman knows you're married.

Females get a kick out that I've noticed.



Your relationship is finished. You've pretty much ended it yourself.

indigo sister: I've got to agree with peacemaker.. these days women don't appear to care if you're married or not, they will play if that is their want.... So a man doesn't really have to take off his ring for THAT purpose to be very honest...

I'm not saying that he is has been faithful, but to be honest I am married and sometime i take off my ring to either wash my hands, or when hurts [if you're no5t used to wearing a ring] as i am it can feel a bit funny.. also when i was on holiday i had to remove it because my fingers became inflamed and the ring became uncomfortable.. so he might be telling the truth...

however as peacemaker said you may have ended your own relationship by your behaviour... my view as a man is this..people should STOP looking/expecting perfect men.. they don't exist... relationships should be about learning growing together and making mistakes..NOT about being perfect!!! the fat is if your looking for a problem/fault in a man..the fact is you will find it...

If you want the perfect man, then you should become a nun and marry jesus because he was the only perfect guy i know, if you want a relationship.. then you/people need to learn that this is about reasonable compromises... the question you need to ask is what is reasonable....good luck!!

Exactly what behaviour are you talking about? And is being "faithful" now deemed as being "perfect"? I thought faithfulness in a relationship was a given? Anyway I have not said I think he's cheated......

Hmm...where do I start Maybe he's still f**king the ex....or worse still the thought of marriage simply reminds him of when he was married and how you're likely to switch on him when you finally have him chained to the system Cracks me up though how todays women see sucking a mans dick as their way of saying you belong to them...guess you've stopped that now as well have you lol.

To be honest, he sounds harmless, your current ways are simply reminding him of why he got divorced in the first place....buy some hold ups with the bow on the back and make it up to him....now's the time to make love new again.

what the F*u*K else could he want?

If you haven't already, watch the film the best man, there's a line in it that says the only thing better than pu$$y is some new pu$$y....make love new rude girl....even if it's a blonde wig or something lol.

as per usual replies creep up in here that says more abt the poster than the actual thread topic lol lol people its a new year get over your jumbo sized baggage, rants and tirades of tales from relationships gone wrong we know your entire life story back to front now, please stop off loading...it's weird and icky. Better still write a book, then at least it will be confimed to WHSmith!

anyway back to this thread, very interesting, and suspicious, i think ill wait to b4 I comment, i'm interested to read others views. But staright off the bat I'd be feeling very upset and vexed if i were in my girls shoes

lol - wifeable...not quite a wife then Everybody's experience is different, it takes something other than a superficial brain to see past the drama...as if your life is kriss or something..guaranteed if it was you wouldn't be on these forums lol.

[quote=Indigo sistah;1461492]Exactly what behaviour are you talking about? And is being "faithful" now deemed as being "perfect"? I thought faithfulness in a relationship was a given? Anyway I have not said I think he's cheated......[/QUOTE

Indigo: please define 'faithful' for me... because as i read it you have no proof of 'unfaithfullness' only the suspicion based on his behavior which it appears you've read into... so please define 'faithfullness'...

The fact is no one is perfect, if you want a perfect man who ONLY thinks about you..and behaves the way YOU think a man ought to behave then marry jesus!!!

Your words were quite clear..he goes to work comes home..and focuses on YOU...now because of ONE photo taken 15mth ago that you must have examined with a spyglass you are having major doubts..pleeease either you're yanking my leg or you're deluded about your relationship.... because your story is disjointed sister..

If you were happy why did you do a CSI on the photo? If you suspect he is unfaithful why are we hasving this convo...you arse should be gone, gone gone long since...If neither is true then sister its about YOU and not him and you need to REFLECT on why you're soo insecure....thats what i'm talking about..that behaviour right there!!!

Hey Indigo sistah,

Maybe your not reading too much into it but more so interpreting this in the wrong way. It seems from your post that the real concern you have is of his past NOT him not wearing his ring sometimes. The fact that he has a child and was separated when you got together but chose not to tell you will ineviatbly shed doubt.

Talking to his ex doesn't won't help the situation either. Remember she's his EX!! Also when listening to your friends about him looking for someone else you need to consider where they are coming from to make such a claim. Many women will encourage you to be suspicious of your man if they have had bad experiences with men themeselves rather than encourage to try and work things out. It's interesting that none of them seem to have suggested a way to find out the truth and help the relationship rather than help brteak it.

Why not try and talk to him abut your concerns regarding his dishonesty rather than stress WHY he isn't wearing his ring. It could well be the case that the ring is uncomfortable sometimes.

He sounds like he's giving alot of things that any woman would want. It doesn't seem like he wants to be single either as he's at home most of the time.

It might also be the case that by focusing on giving him so much of what you think he wants you aren't realizing the importance of getting what it is YOU want from the relationship. How about thinking on that for while so you can make your needs clear to him. He then has the choice to make you feel secure enough not to doubt his commitment. If you can feel that then you will have no reason to question why he isn't wearing the ring at times.

Hope this helps.
Good luck!

Kunfuju I would greatly appreciate you not responding any further to my thread. I have never known you to have anything positive to say in regards to women per se. I remember you from the EPN and I know you've had your own damaging experiences....but I would greatly appreciate you not turning my thread, which is a genuine and heartfelt concern, into just another woman bashing exercise!

I would be interested in hearing more from the women.....which is why I posted on the Women's board. How would ya'll feel if this happened to you? Would you think of all the good things this man has done or does and as Chris Rock says..."let this one slide". I just feel so wronged by this...especially as I wear my ring with such pride and I take great joy flashing it at a guy who's chatting me up "sorry I'm taken". Now I feel like a real fool.....