Conscious Sisters and Your Standards of Men...Are You Confused???

Shemsi en Tehuti · (#1 (**permalink**))

I have run into too many so called conscious sisters who say they need a decent conscious brother, but can't find one. Then, instead of just getting a decent brother to mold, they say they "had to get a White man that was on their level". Not sure if this is an issue in the UK, but here in the States, at least here in Florida, alot of so called conscious sisters say they can't find a decent man so they had to get them a White man. Are these women confused?

I have met quite a few so called conscious sisters say a brother has to have a college degree to be on "her level". This makes me wonder how can you be a conscious sister but then require a degree from the same institutions that perpetuate this White Supremacist culture? If anything, those men will have a higher likelihood of dysfunctional behavior in terms of African solidarity.

Another thing that is mind-boggling to me is how I see conscious sisters giving up the cookie to guys who devalue her. They may be thuggist type dudes or just don't care about her state of consciousness at all while getting themselves into all kinds of foolishness. I would think the sister would want to build with someone at least like-minded in some way, but too often that is not the case. It seems that if they were conscious enough to internalize some of the bases of Dr. Frances Cress Welsing's work, then our conscious sisters should deny any and all men who exhibit self-negating or dysfunctional behavior.

Ok, those are just a few examples I have come across. Does it seem like some of our conscious sisters are just confused?

name · (#2 (**permalink**))

What's a conscious sister?

Shemsi en Tehuti · (#3 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by name

What's a conscious sister?

Anyone who is supposed to be "conscious", is supposed to have some enlightenment about the state of African people in the world, the need for African perpetuity through our healthy communities and families, the importance of fostering love/knowledge/respect for the self, and be at least somewhat aware of the institutional and cultural systems that both seek to destroy our welfare and typically fosters self-negating/dysfunctional behavior in our own.

If a person is conscious of these things, then they take a more deliberate route in terms of child-rearing, political decisions, fiscal responsibility (where they spend their money), the company (persons) they keep around them, and the types of relationships they build with other men and women alike.

Vivienne · (#4 (**permalink**))

It would be interesting to see the male response to this if the gender in question was reversed.

Mandalore · (#5 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shemsi en Tehuti

Anyone who is supposed to be "conscious", is supposed to have some enlightenment about the state of African people in the world, the need for African perpetuity through our healthy communities and families, the importance of fostering love/knowledge/respect for the self, and be at least somewhat aware of the institutional and cultural systems that both seek to destroy our welfare and typically fosters self-negating/dysfunctional behavior in our own.

If a person is conscious of these things, then they take a more deliberate route in terms of child-rearing, political decisions, fiscal responsibility (where they spend their money), the company (persons) they keep around them, and the types of relationships they build with other men and women alike.

Only met one woman like that. The rest of them like to talk a real good talk and make noise. Truth hurts for most of them, so I don't bother get into the details of their double standards. Fowl hide dem foot when dem hear 'bout dem tail.

*$HaNnY_Bu* · (#6 (**permalink**))

Yes they are confused and via versa...practice what you preach and if they 'fall in love' then what have they really fallen in love with..what do they see...

Incognito · (#7 (**permalink**))

Can't be nothing worse than having to dumb yourself down to converse and communicate with the person who is supposed to be the other half. Reality suggests when it comes to African consciousness there are many sistas you have to approach as if approaching a white woman....or as one womanising punk put it, you need to break it down for women...guess you'd find the time to if you need one to put a roof over your head.....even more so if these people are raising the African men of tomorrow.

A lack of depth, spacial and general lack of awareness of ones environment and surroundings seems to be quite common among women, take reversing into a parking space, parking without grazing the wheels on the kerb and a general lack of sense of direction and bearings - this is a female thing, my white colleagues say the same thing about their women, big mistake if you think consciousness is a given based on black skin, in the same way it isn't given amongst black men who still parade as slaves.

The awareness isn't there to relate to the scale of the struggle, it doesn't go much further than look, sex and money - cost two boys I know their dad, their house and their inheritance.

It is said that women outnumber men by 'so many' to 'one'. If that's true then it's a sad reality that a conscious sista really is one amongst millions....and that's assuming she didn't take the babymamma route to get there. The million would all rather run down the same one or two men willing to give them a battywash.

Given a fork road of African consciousness and celebrity, most wouldn't even recognise the fork...forward on to babylon. Where there is no depth, money will always be the answer. The fake hair on the tube is tearing me apart, do these women really think they are beautiful or something.

Neferkare · (#8 (**permalink**))

Hmmmm … So many thoughts, so little time.

Thought provoking questions but the background behind it seems a little bit forced. For example, I am in California, a very different place than Florida, and around these parts, “conscious” sistahs don’t date white men. They just don’t. Now, I do recall my days of college when there was one “conscious” sistah, a staunch member of the AAPRP, who was married to a white man and, although this would seem like a contradiction, she held down her part of the struggle pretty well and subjected her husband to all kinds of social abuse. It even occurred to me that her husband was only there so that she could regularly have a personal target upon whom to vent her frustration, regarding the role the white man played in the subjugation of Africa. That was years ago and I would bet that they are divorced now.

Anywayz, your definition of “conscious” is also troubling. For me, consciousness is an awareness of the ways in which racism, white supremacy, colonialism, religion, economic forces, western institutions, education, western media, etc., combine to hinder the upward mobility of members of the African Diaspora and continent of Africa itself. After all, when we speak of “consciousness” isn’t it just “awareness” that we speak of, which, for many, is a major step in and of itself? Sure, we would hope that “consciousness” would include various actions such as, “child-rearing, political decisions, fiscal responsibility (where they spend their money), the company (persons) they keep around them, and the types of relationships they build with other men and women alike” but that is more a function of political activism than it is of “consciousness.”

Lastly, whether a “conscious” sistah dates a white man or a thug has much more to do with how she feels about herself on the inside than it does her political preferences or collective aspirations. Loneliness yearns for company and breeds compromise. Her consciousness may say to her, "don't give this fool the time of day," but her loneliness and general need to be loved might say, "My clock is ticking, what if this is an opportunity for a genuine love connection?" Moreover, her "consciousness" and understanding of society may indeed compel her to engage in actions that uplift Blacks, but she may still be of the mind that, in spite of her dating/marriage choice, she is still doing more for Blacks in a day than the vast majority of Blacks will do in a lifetime and hence, her "choice" has little or no bearing on her positive actions.

Lastly, I do not believe that the marrying of someone from another race is sufficient grounds to conclude that they are either "not conscious" or that they have compromised principle. On the other hand, if someone were to spell out a legitimate plan of action for African/Black upward mobility that required Blacks to marry Blacks in order for the plan to be effective, let us then measure who is “conscious” and “down.” In the absence of a plan, how can one evaluate the consequences of their marriage choices in the near or distant future?

Thanks for reading

Incognito · (#9 (**permalink**))

To be honest most of the women I have come across have consciousness, it just doesn''t seem to be something they dwell on - maybe we need to differentiate between consciousness and militancy.

theblackestgirl · (#10 (**permalink**))

yes
they are confused.
I don't understand how some think they can be "conscious" all the while assimilating.

theblackestgirl · (#11 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shemsi en Tehuti

I have run into too many so called conscious sisters who say they need a decent conscious brother, but can't find one. Then, instead of just getting a decent brother to mold, they say they "had to get a White man that was on their level". Not sure if this is an issue in the UK, but here in the States, at least here in Florida,

what's wrong w/ wanting someone on your level?
how do you "mold" grown men? I think that's impossible I'd have a better chance w/ roots. lol
Do you "mold" women?

That's how it is in Fla, I've heard many many black women complain about bm there not even checking for sistas but going straight for latin, white and anything else...other men....lol
When I was in Inidan River County, Fla I never saw black couples, but I did see a bunch in IR couples.

Mandalore · (#12 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incognito

To be honest most of the women I have come across have consciousness, it just doesn''t seem to be something they dwell on - maybe we need to differentiate between consciousness and militancy.

A very good point you make, which is probably what I'm seeing.

Shemsi en Tehuti · (#13 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by theblackestgirl

what's wrong w/ wanting someone on your level?
how do you "mold" grown men? I think that's impossible I'd have a better chance w/ roots. lol
Do you "mold" women?

That's how it is in Fla, I've heard many many black women complain about bm there not even checking for sistas but going straight for latin, white and anything else...other men....lol
When I was in Inidan River County, Fla I never saw black couples, but I did see a bunch in IR couples.

It is rather hypocritical to profess some level of consciousness, but then proclaim a Euro man is &quo