child free and loving it!!! - Page 3

Incognito · (#51 (**permalink**))

Brown Skin - (still black to a grey), for the record never talk about children as tieing down again, cheeky blouse and skirt...as if you yourself wasn't a pikney once, children are a commitment not a convenience if your commitment phoebe (and that's being polite) then say so, don't put the bias or the onus on the children or their mothers, it says more about you than than anything else and one more thing, watch out for conceited brothas who think they are fooling anyone trying to hide their conceit under womans frock

Black_Power · (#52 (**permalink**))

lol maybe its for the best that she has chosen not to reproduce...

Madam Butterfly · (#53 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by brown skin

i came to a point in my life a while back where i decided that i dont want to have kids. i love my freedom and i dont want to be tied down with kids nor do i want the responsibility of raising kids. im heterosexual and in my 30's and people always freak out when they find out i dont have any kids. i sometimes get rude questions or comments. why does society make it seem like every woman must have or at least desire to have kids?

To a large extent i understand where you are coming from. I am unlikely to ever be in a relationship, ergo i am unlilely to ever have children. This is a fact i had come to terms with in my teen years, though now at the age of 29 it does start to niggle me.

But i am trying to accept that my life will probably be a chuldless one, unless i adopt. And i am trying to come to terms with that fact. When people ask if i want children my automatic response is "no" as i know what hard work they can be and how 100% selfless you must be to raise children. I am not there yet and not sure i ever will be.

Plus i have two nephews and my job involves me being around kids all day everyday, so my feelings have nothing to do with not liking/loving children. God knows i love some of them like they were my own!

Its just that a life without a biological child of my own is fast becomng a reality for me, so i need to see the advantages to that, rather than spend every night sobbing into my pillow about it.

Besides, not everyne is cut out to be a parent, and if you already kow that about yourself, then you are to be congratulated. You would only have a child end up lining the pockets of psychiatrists lol

For those that have children/want children and enjoy it, then that is a beautiful thing. I only wish ALL parents felt the same way about their children.

We really shouldn;t be enouraging someone to do something as important as having/raising children if their heart is obiously not in it. It is the most important job in the world and under what other circumstance would you encourage someone to do something so important that their heart just was not in?

Black_Power · (#54 (**permalink**))

who encouraging "her" to do ANYTHING?

any why aint you gonna be in a relationship? cos you have a phobia? naa every phobia known to man can be cured so I aint about to swallow that either.

seems like a whole bunch of self pitty up in this place at the moment...

LadyDay · (#55 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by brown skin

i came to a point in my life a while back where i decided that i dont want to have kids. i love my freedom and i dont want to be tied down with kids nor do i want the responsibility of raising kids. im heterosexual and in my 30's and people always freak out when they find out i dont have any kids. i sometimes get rude questions or comments. why does society make it seem like every woman must have or at least desire to have kids?

fine if you dont want kids. you would be better off just saying you do not kids full stop!!!.......however what you said was you do not want kids because they will tie you down. that just sounds like capitalism the me me me generation

i have a friend she never wanted kids, she had one, decided to keep her and has made sure that she does not have anymore. she loves her child to bits

know many people who choose not to have kids simply because they dont have that yearning some just because we live in a hostile times, none have said they would be tied down by children.

Prince Hakeem · (#56 (**permalink**))

@Forum

For some reason we seem to be having a recent influx of kooks in our midst.

'brown skin' AKA 'lilsoulfool' AKA 'theblackestgirl' is obviously a demented twat and I would encourage people not to waste anymore of their time on her/it.

LadyDay · (#57 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melissa

Brown Skin could have come on here and tell us exactly why she is 'loving it', the positive side of being childless, instead of dragging up every negative stereotype about motherhood there is as some sort of defense.

She assumes that because i am a mother i am bitter, i am hating on her so called freedom, and I can't do as much in my life as she can. Actually, I probably do alot more with my life than she does because I have two people depending on me.

If you berate something as precious as parenting, expect a backlash.

DITTO
its all about the delivery( excuse the pun)

Prince Hakeem · (#58 (**permalink**))

Don't worry this lunatic isn't any more real than Daffy Duck.....

Black Lion · (#59 (**permalink**))

So it was an ingenious plot to start a conversation about not having children in an attempt to stem the population of us as a peoples huh?

Figured.

Always seems weird to me though, how can someone not want children... who carries on your line? If I had one yout' and s/he grows looks me in the eye at 30 and says that s/he doesn't want any kids I'm not sure how I'd feel... might even have to make another one quick cause that'd be the end of it, like someone done killed off your name... and isn't having a child a natural result of a fruitful relationship... if you're in a loving relationship its something that you'd both want at one point, haven't heard of too many couples who love one another but don't want children.

Don't get it.... guess I'm on the opposite side, nice having a big family all looking out for one another etc. **Thinks to self** Perhaps that me being the outcast of the family, as though I missed out on it earlier in life and so want a big family to experience it for myself...

...people are more selfish than they think......ponders...

Incognito · (#60 (**permalink**))

Prince H - come on now, we all know there's no place like the Village when in need of some therapy - as members it's our duty to oblige

alabamagirl · (#61 (**permalink**))

Prince Hakeem, I don't think brown skin is the same as lilsoulful and theblackestgirl. What has theblackestgirl done anyway to make you say that?

Black_Power · (#62 (**permalink**))

lol Let me fill you in on a lil secret

the mods can see ALL the usernames that are connected to a particular IP they CHOOSE not to expose those of you who post under different names

BUT when you act the ass like lil soulfool then the out you.

simple really

astmartins · (#63 (**permalink**))

Good work moderators..@lilsoulful thought she had disappered for a while she did try though because her writing style seems to have changed...anyways in this life the youung evntually grow old and the new ones spring up to take their place...thats what its all about if you have good genes of sound mind and have a decent job whats the problem???...again the problem is of 'sound mind' i wouldn't encourage those who fall into that bracket to have children...but there is increasingly a good number of professional african women of a certain age range who would most likely make this sort of comment...theres only so much holidays shoes and bags you can have