My sisters are about 6yrs apart, both date primarily black guys but I guess (as they won’t openly admit) that they have also dated other races too.. not that its an issue.. but.. when my sisters talk about men (especially black men).. they want and I quote:-

• An emotionally strong man
• A mentally strong man
• A physically strong man
... and the list goes on and on

Ok, that is pretty straight forward.. but then they go on about him being sensitive, and protective, emotionally intelligent but not too feminine in his ways.. they will test him.. just to see if he can keep them in check.. And these test come in many forms like:-

• Asking for money they do not need
• Pretending to be cool with men they know he ain’t got time for
• False drama
• Chinese whispers
• Bad time keeping
• Have gimme, gimme mentality (where you taking me, what you buying me, what you gonna do for me sort of attitude)
• Make out like you should be so lucky to catch a piece of them
WTF me says..

Of course this has led to some strong convo between the three of us as my sisters just can’t hold down a man and have nuff drama with the father’s of their children.. and its not like their lightweight in the brain department as one works for the Met police (almost 20 years now) and the other has a law degree and is now doing her master’s in her 40’s.

Recently someone said to me, the reason she did “x” was because I let her get away with it and that she could walk all over me.. made me think back to my sisters convo.. cos to me, what that woman asked for at the time was not unreasonable at that time, and the smaller things (as I saw them) were things that I thought were all part of the relationship building equation and would change with good communication.

So I asked myself, why must a woman need to be kept in check, why if a man agrees with you (especially on points that he agrees with you) or do not bother him one way or another, are they seen as being soft.. Why if he don’t slap you up against your head with his voice or hand or wallet does that make me less of a man (which of course we know it does not)..

The point is, do women ever find men who are all of the above in one package and if they do, why do some feel the need to keep testing him.. is this just a woman’s thing or is their some logic to this game... I mean, if a man is good to you, is fine in all other ways, why test him... is this an insecurity thing with women (a real serious lack of self worth) or some form of mental illness...

cos me, I never test women, if they F**k up, then they can just F**k off, but I ain’t into no games and if I want drama, I just go to the theatre and watch a play.

It's plain immaturity, simple. I don't have time for idiots who want to play childish mind games. Any man with a woman on this bullshit should just leave them and find someone who acts their age.

people who feel the need to "test" their partner obviously do not TRUST their partner. This is why it makes sense to spend a little time getting to know people before rushing into turning something into a relationship. People would only feel the need to test their partner if they felt that their partner was not everything that they had presented themself to be at the time of entering the relationship.