Where have all the good black men gone?

There seems to be a conspiracy for black women in the singles scene, a mystery that not even Agatha Christie or Sherlock Holmes can solve. It’s the mystery of the “Good Man”. They say he exists, he’s been written about and sung about for years, surely not every Hollywood romantic comedy and Mills & Boon novel can be wrong. Somewhere out there for every woman there has to be that “Tall, Dark and Handsome” hero, yet for many black women, who wish to date within their own race, they just can’t find that “good man”.

So what is a “Good man”? Like many things in life this definition is subjective. My simple definition is a man who is confident in himself enough to respect humanity and celebrate the beauty of life. There are many elements that can encompass this – honesty, kindness, passion that we cannot forget, but these lead onto subjective tastes and attitudes. He is a man who is proud in his own skin and with that pride carries his integrity on his sleeve. With this I propose that the “good men” are all around us! To be good is not just about being able to buy your partner the most expensive gifts or raiding Kew Gardens every evening for the perfect bouquet of flowers (although that helps!  ). Anyone can do those things in practice but in principal their hearts and minds are not true.

So where is this elusive “good man” if he does exist?

He is out there but he won’t come to you – you have to find each other. “That’s obvious!” I hear you cry. But honestly how often do you go out with a sexy, CONFIDENT smile on your face, proud of your beauty and exuding your love for life. I’m not talking about going clubbing or to bars with the hope of meeting a “half decent bloke” – I’m talking about going everywhere with the INTENTION of meeting your “good man”. There are so many barriers to that smile, that confidence, that beauty, that it’s a wonder any woman can walk out with her head held high – The bad hair days, the fat days, the memories of those bad experiences we had with those guys that haunt us each and every time we meet someone new… I know it’s hard to be positive when there are just days you don’t feel like the beauty queen that you are or when you hear another story about a guy mistreating a lady. Not every black man is a love rat or a womaniser. Give it some time, let go of all those internal barriers and be comfortable and sure that you are just right the way you are. With that the “good man” (based on the definition I outlined above) will attract each other.

All good things take time and in the mean time might I suggest that we start to celebrate all of our beautiful, black men! Black men are absolutely FANTASTIC! Look around you in your community – the bus driver that gets you to destination (after working 10 hours on the same route), your GP (who tries his best to make you feel healthy despite NHS cuts), the fathers and grandfathers who make you feel like a princess. Not forgetting our great black men through history such as Nelson Mandela, David Lammy, Ottobah Cugoano and all the men who are involved in the 100 Black men of London www.100bmol.org.uk/. Be open to finding your “good man”, he’s just around the corner and he’s searching for you too!
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Ronke Lawal
Who's for dinner.com - Singles, Dinner Dating Service, dating agency, London dating online, Single professionals

I swear to God if I have to read another one of thes tired ass articles,I will literally slip into a coma!

We read stuff like this, finally realised that we are of no worth and went into hiding... may I suggest another race....or time period

Ditto. These people seriously need to come up with some new shit to write about.

all the black men has gone to drugs,gangs,or jail and most of all dead. im a black man and im here and i understand every thing thatsgoing on with our men. but the past plays a big part in what we are able to do today.

They are ringing my phone and asking me on dates!

Do what David Lammy Great? Nelson Mandela great? GTFOH with that bullshit!!!!

*sigh*

Want some curry powder to go with this tripe???

I remember reading articles like this back in 1994....can't we ever move on and progress from this banal shyte? I'm bored to tears of this crap.

Ouch!...OR maybe your hanging around the wrong crowd which doesnt attract good men...

Finding a good man requires patience. Maybe your just looking in the wrong places...