When I was a teenager I used to lust after the sexy rude boys. My pin-ups at the time were Devante and Mr Dalvin from Jodeci. Fifteen years later, I find myself attracted to men who are frankly wimps and not necessarily good looking either. And unlike many women who would say they'd love a man to defend them, I prefer dating a guy who would walk away from a fight.

The tough masculine alpha male types no longer do it for me. They even scare me to some extent. In fact if Mr Dalvin chatted me up now, looking the way he did back then, I'd probably tell him to move on. To me, men who are too pretty or act too tough, spell P.L.A.Y.E.R or certainly not marriage material.

I read some research recently that suggested women although would date men with masculine looks, would prefer to settle down with a man with more softer physical features and who exhibit feminine qualities. According to researchers at St Andrews University, men who tend to be more sensitive are more likely to make trustworthy and faithful husbands. So it's bye Wesley Snipes and hello Sharif Atkins (Dr Gallant from ER). See some links to articles below explaining this theory.

Have you noticed your taste in men changing? Which do you prefer - the bad boy or the sweet geek?

Move over Vin, women prefer feminine men | Science | The Guardian
Male beauty : feminine face is key to a woman’s heart
BBC NEWS | UK | Feminine males 'more attractive'

Monique x

lol - give it a few more years and the only criteria will be a pulse

@ monique, excellent question which I hope gets the answers you wish for

OFF TOPIC

Incognito, I'm getting to the stage where as long as she was born a woman she has a chance

Flippin the script somewhat I would say that back in the day....I went through my white girl worship phase, [as a young boy i hasten to add] then the Browning phase, and then the what I call the Tyra, Janet Jackson phase...used to love chasing women with the glamour puss types with the straight hair and heavy make up....

The problem is not that these type of women can be high maintenance, or full of themselves.. what found time after time was that the prettier the woman the more insecure she normally is....and it was this that cured me of that stupidity... Now i like woman who wear no make up and has natural hair....and typically the darker the better.....

LMAO.


To answer the question, no, my taste in men has not changed as I've gotten older.

Prisons are full with geek type men who’ve committed the most hideous crimes, but once again black women are falling right into the hands of the brain washers.

when i was younger teens to late end of teens all i wanted was a thug. a balanced thug. a street guy. but i quickly got bored of that.

these days i want someone who is serious about life
wants to work and put in all he can for his family
my husband no longer ticks all my boxes.
however i know that if ever this marriage dissolved itself I know my limits

I think my type has changed. Before it was more about looks, (obviously as a youngen). Now its about personality, value systems, intelligence, how they treat me, then looks. I find it turned off almost instantly by a good looking guy if he isn't as attractive inside.

I think people will find that until we learn to look at the inside and not how light or dark a person is, how tall or short....we will keep going the through "phases", but only because we fail to understand what really makes the difference between individuals.

I used to date only Nigerian guys, now I have stretched to neighbouring countries....lol......never thought I would though.

Personally I'm a person of the mind and would feel insulted if a woman told me she was into me because of the sex or my career. I'd like a woman to be with me for my value system because that's what makes me tick. Quite ironic as growing up I would make purpose efforts to make myself unattractive to the opposite sex. I remember wearing a tracksuit top with a broken zip and my friend telling me that I must can do better than that. I told him don't watch it, any woman I get wearing this top must be a good woman...well you guys know the rest LOL.

@ChiI used to date only Nigerian guys, now I have stretched to neighbouring countries....lol......never thought I would though.

Good on you...most Nigerian Girls or women tend to be set in their ways usually go for a particular type of Nigerian Man the Loud Brash Flashy Type..so many tales of woe wouldn't even bore you with it ...bet you have the battlescars...
so when you next in Abuja??...lol

@Incognito
Do you reckon your ex brought out the funny side of you??...that was funny though..Pulse..!!!!

astmartins - I was always known for my sense of humour, as cinical as it can be, if anything the ex starved it of life, guess I'm back now

Was speaking to my mum of the irony of lonelines with so many people in the world. So many preferences only to one day wake up to recognise that it has become a choice between preferences or the shelf. I had one red skin girl who honestly thought she was dropping her standards to spar with me, after two bull-jook i couldn't get rid of the moo...eventually sent her packing back to her preferences - on the shelf

Got to watch out man, there's some high mileage countless ex boyfriend women out there looking a husband and think their years of experience has given them the tools to catch any man they want. Can turn on the charm like a mofo....and if the crunch comes they can always take set on a toy boy yet to learn the ropes

@astmartins....lol. I've never been into brash men period. I actually think Naija guys get the raw end of the deal with that stereotype. I like men who are confident and self assured in an understated way, not brash. I still find that one of the most attractive aspects of a man, and I am turned off by men who dont have that swagger. The difference is that I am open to others who have that, even if they are not Nigerian.

It may come as a surprise to you, but I have absolutely no battle scars from Naija men.......I dont tend to attract the brash braggard type at all....from any country. There are no horror stories from me at all.......when it comes to Naija guys.

I have to say though that, after dating guys from other countries, this confident type has been few and far between and to be honest it has made me appreciate Naija guys more, but I am less rigid in my dating when it comes to background. Although they do have to be from the African continent........trying to work on that too.......lol

I must admit, I have run into alot of babies dressed up in men suits as my dating pool has widened.......a few of them needed far too much proping up then I am used to doing.

I want to go back to Abuja early next year, I am seriously thinking of living between London and Abuja........far too much opportunity over there for peopole who have been educated abroad and development is happening very fast.