[shellyanne]

Thank you Kunjufu I did not say your exact words but.... I,ve come to realise my life is better without people like those...I kinda was sad, but at the same time happy to find out who my real friends were.

[Kunjufu]

Shellyanne: I'm sad too, I can't believe black people can be so niave and selfish as to cuss someone for doing the right thing.. what a day it is when the victims get cuss for standing up for themselves... To be honest words absolutely fail me on this one..

[sofyyne]

@shellyanne,

I bet those same people whocussed you outfor telling police would have found it acceptableif you went the thug route, gota nextman involved, and the next thing you know somebody is getting stabbed or shot.Itoo applaud you for doing the right thing and putting those assholes in jail where they belong. clp)

So yes, good riddance to those friends you didnt have; you dont need people like that round you anyway, becausethey are just as much part of the problem as the predators themselves.

[shellyanne]

Thanks for understanding sofyyne but it turned out thatthose same ex friends of mine boyfriends were fleeing police as well, so they maybe thought that if we had an argument I would turn them in as well it's a complicated situation sometimes you have to walk on eggshell.....

[sofyyne]

shellyanne wrote:

Thanks for understanding sofyyne but it turned out thatthose same ex friends of mine boyfriends were fleeing police as well... [my italics]

============================================

I dont know those girls from Adam, but what i doknow isthe fact that their boyfriends are also fugitives doesnt explain them cussing you out for reporting the guys who victimized you.

They cussed you because they adhere to thef*cked up moral code of the f*cked up subculture that is killing us.

And they correlatedittotheir own boyfriends because - i bet you - that is exactly the same crap that they do -walk street troublingpeople who look like easy targets (females walking alone, etc).

The fact that they were more worried about their own hoodrats going tojail than they were aboutsupporting you through your ordeal, that only goes to showyou just how poisoned their minds really are. These thugstruck type females are a big part of the problem, yes!

[fazuan]

hmmm, may her soul rest in peace...it is sad but yet another opportunity for us to examine out lives with specifics to the gun, aggresive, violent culture that we have come to associate with ourselves.

We need to make a conscious effort to seperate ourselves from anyone who might be involved in this sort of lifestyle, or else next time it could be your sister or even YOU, it might be a stray bullet. Guns will never solve anything, its not big its not clever, we need to stop inculcating it in our culture, it is not our culture, we are not violent by nature, dont believe everything the media makes us out to be, we dont need to live up to the stereotype of being strong black men,we can be weak, vulnerable,we can be human.

Heartbroken as much as I feel what you're trying to say, I can't completely feel it. You know the saying, treat everyone as if it was their last day on earth? well there you go. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty but let it be a lesson to us all, you just never know do you? Every human being is worth something....a life. I'm sorry but you'll live with that guilt knowing you might have made a difference to her "issuefull" life, you might have remained her friend even if it was online,outside of a relationship and far away from her, you could have affected her postively instead of selfishly thinking of yourself and the fact that she wasn't letting off. That was selfish and am glad you realize that....better late than never.... I wonder how many more people need to die before people stop being selfish and think of people as people, knowing that everyone you come accross is not by chance, there is a reason for every one we meet and we are required toaffect them more positivelythan we meet them. I hope I have succesfully managed to make you feel bad because that is exactly what I set out to do. Dont listen to anyone who says you shouldn't feel bad, you should, you had the opportunity to make a difference and you blew it!! simple as.

Who knows what drove her to hang with the wrong set of people, desperation? her issues? a sense of helplessness? lost hope?? only God will know. May He help us the black race and keep us from killing ourselves off.

[heartbroken]

fazuan, since Tasha passed away not a day has gone by without me playing over everything in my head. Nothing you say has not already been been pondered over and over again in my mind and you are right, it is something I will have to live with for the rest of my days.

People meet people from the net for a variety of reasons, but speaking from personal experiences, it isoften when something is not entirely right in life. As I initially said, I was having a few problems of my own 4 years ago andI recognise that our paths crossed at the wrong time. I am not trying to pass the buck, simply pointing out the complexities of a strange situation.

Looking at things philosophically (which is something I have a habit of doing) I think I came into contact with Tasha for a reason. In that sense I failed her, and again nothing anybody says will change that. I appreciate people trying to say positive things with regards to my role but I am not naieve and recognise when someone is just trying to make you feel better. Save your pity for people who deserve it, because I can honestly say that my conduct of 4 years ago warrants nothing of the sort.

Maybe my purpose was to have a more positive impact upon her short life, maybe I am looking at things far too deeply. Who knows?

It would be cruel and disrespectful to divulge some of the things that had been going on in Tasha's life, apart from anything else she told me those things in confidence and if nothing else I will carry those secrets to my grave. I will only say that looking back, my problems were incredibly trivial compared to some of her issues, and that is all I have to say about that.

I have made several attempts over the lastfew daysto try to find information to send flowers to her family, but unfourtunately so far to no avail. I would love more than anything to let her family and friendsknow how sad and regretful I feel for her passing and how Ihate the way I treated her as aperson after I didn't get what I wanted. What will it achieve? Not a lot, it certainly wont change anything. But if nothing else it will enableme to close this chapter knowing I have in someway sought to makeamendsfor my mistakes of 4 years ago, even if itis far too late.

When anybody dies it always triggers a period of reflection and thought for how you have treated that person while they were alive. The violent and tragic way in which this person passed away makes it all the more sharper. I knew Tasha for a very short period of time but if I knew then what I know now maybe it could have been a lot longer. Maybe she would have got fed up of me in time and shut me off anyway. We will never know.

You say that maybe she associated herself with the wrong type of people and of course because of the way things have turned out this will always be a natural conclusion. I can't comment on whether this is true or not because the truth of the matter is I really didn't know her well enough to know for sure. What I will say is that from what I understand aboutwhat she was doing recently, she was doing well in life career wise.

Hopefully she was happy and she managed to surround her with the kind of friends and companionship, platonic or otherwise, which I myself was unable to offer her before.

[fazuan]

heartbroken I am glad that you didn't take my words in a bad way. you can rest assured that I am not one of those people that will say things to make you feel better as I am neither diplomatic,hypocritical or patronising. That way people know where they stand with me all the time.

I am especially pleased that this has made you reflect and that you have come out better for it. maybe she did die for a reason afterall. But hey, you have your whole life in front of you. MAKE A DIFFERENCE..more opportunities for you now, dont throw them away.....again.

Dont worry, you'll be alright... I am in no doubt about that!!!!!!

Good luck with the rest of your lifeand again...May Tasha's soul rest in perfect and I mean perfect peace.

[Lisamc]

Hello all
I am a good friend of Tasha since we worked together, and have obviously been devastated by what's happened. I miss her so much, and find myself talking to her in my head (yes i know it sounds daft) but feel comforted in the hope that she can hear me.
She was a fantastic singer, and a genuinely wonderful person, it's such a shame that more people didn't get to find that out for themselves.
I hope to god, that someone is caught for this.
They have robbed me of my good friend, and the world of an angel.
Miss ya chicken,
Lisa

[heartbroken]

Updates-

************************************************** *************

MARGARET Derby, the mother of Natasha Derby who died from gunshot wounds inflicted at a party, has confirmed the date of her daughter's funeral.

The funeral of Natasha, 23, will take place at All Saints Church in High Wycombe on December 2.

Natasha died following the shooting at the multi-racial centre in St Mary Street, High Wycombe on September 4.

Mrs Derby has said that all are welcome to attend the service, which starts at 1pm.

Donations to charity can be made by contacting the Co-operative Funeral Service in Dashwood Avenue, High Wycombe, or by calling 01494 451292.

************************************************** **************

A MAN has been charged in connection with the killing of Natasha Derby who died from gunshot wounds inflicted at a party.

Dwayne Haughton, 29, of Rhine Close, Caversham, Reading, was arrested by detectives from Thames Valley Police's major crime department on Thursday. He was charged at 6pm on Friday with murder.

Haughton attended a special hearing at Aylesbury Magistrates Court on Saturday morning.

A preliminary hearing will take place at Reading Crown Court on Thursday, November 11. He was remanded in custody.

Natasha, 23, of Crest Road, High Wycombe, died following a shooting at the Multi Racial Centre in St Mary Street, High Wycombe, on September 3 at 2.30am.

At the time, tributes were paid to Miss Derby by friends and family.

Her mother Margaret Derby said: "My daughter led an innocent life. She did not deserve this. She loved Wycombe. She made a lot of friends. I was not aware how popular my daughter was until I came here."

Friend Becky Cooke said: "We are absolutely devastated. We have lost a wonderful neighbour and a fantastic friend."

[JamBaruk]

heartbrokenbless you brother, your post really sent chills down my spine. Thanks for the update.

I as someone mentioned before believe that people come into your life for a reason. I also believe that something POSITIVE will definitely come out of anything negative. Believe Natasha didn't die in vain, she's up there in Heaven smiling down on you

Gun crime is NO joke it must be Stopped NOW!!

R.I.P Natasha Derby

[MsPnutt]

i've been following this story closely and i am deeply saddened. my heart goes out to her family and friends inc heartbroken.



may her soul rest peacfully.

[EgyptianGoddess]

Hey that girl is my friend, Tash. I live in High Wycombe and was there the night it happened. They have arrested someone but I doubt a conviction will be made. No one is really going to come forward. They want to deal with it by theirselves. Its such a mess in my area. Gun crime is getting worse and it is people from out of town bringing it in here.