fruit is healthy

It's whatever you want it to be.

I find the manner in which astmartins declares from his soap box, that one of the posters 'turned out ok', condescending, to say the least. Who are you to determine what is or is not ok?

Pleeze what's condescending about this??..just wanted to diffuse something that could have been misconsturued I would have made that same comment regardless if she hadn't mentioned her upbringing anyway...
Back to Erykah this is what happens in maybe most cases and then the women turns round and blame the man for doing a runner then we hear the same nonsense about irresponsible black fathers..what about the women??..aren't they just as irresponsible??...so Erykah can afford it so what?? my gripe is enough women cannot afford to bring up multiple kids from multiple fathers and its just slackness to me...I have seen people come out from polygamous homes and I tell you this they don't want anything to do with having multiple partners..its just reckless and irresponsible..
Who am i to tell Erykah how to raise her kids!!!.. I'm just not pleased with the way she has used her elevated status to spew garbage that disapportinately affects our community..do the maths No of mutliple babymommas with their kids X No babyfathers with their kids X multiple babymommas x thier kids..man!! that is some numbers
You see it as liberalism and independent womens right to flex and i see it as slackness period!!
And those carrying on about Fela and Bob Marley its the natural order of things man made diseaeses and economic reality have put paid to that..However just look at the animal kingdom and see how many females want to mate with the strongest male the leader of the pack??...moreover they not the least interested in mating with the so called 'weaker' males..

@ Astmartins, how is a male (Bob or Fela) doing what Erykah has done, the "natural" order of things ?

IMO the proof is in the pudding ie exactly how the kids turn out.

I have a good female friend, who has 3 from 3 (jackpot lol). Everyone of those kids, look well, speak well and have turned out well, ie one has a good job in marketing, the other ( young boy ) is at University and the youngest doing well at Secondary school. So who is anyone to critisise her when shes achieved as much as the conventional family could hope for their kids.

Obviously you shouldnt plan for this, and its FAR from being ideal, but none of us know what life has to offer. If anything Erykah could be accussed of being too trusting or desperate that these relationships would work out, but if she delivers on raising her children well, then its all good.

@chi
Was the irony lost on you regarding the animal kingdom??...lol
Guess you not convinced
Well couldn't have said it better than @BlackPower as implausble as that can sound..call it sexist but taking away all the modern westernised facade and rules..man is supposed to scatter his seeds as long as he knows that he also has to be responsible for those seeds..
Reason why I would advocate this for only wealthy men and not your average jack!!
Well I guess some wealthy women are on a mission to change the natural order

I think along the same lines. It's not how you start, or slip along the way, it's how you finish.

Whether 10 baby daddies, 5 baby mamas, bad choice of partners, infidelity, crack addict, promiscuous, thief etc. I feel people should be allowed to redeem themselves. What does it benefit them or their offspring to condemn them all the days of their life for something that is already done.

yeah men have a primitive desire to impregnate every female he can(we're above animals though, we have concience and can reason). Women might not feel comfortable knowing that though.

Scatter??? this mentality is why you have mentally ill and drug addicted and otherwise unsuitable women who have become mothers. if a man truly values his seed wouldnt he want to implant it somewhere and then be around to watch it grow and contribute fully to the upbringing? just on a practical level, for most 'scatterers', it is difficult if not impossible to be an adequate parent when the seed is just scattered all bout the place. whether you be fela or bob or whoever, this is feckless and irresponsible behaviour.

as for erykah, a lot of regular babymothers also have the means to support their children alone or with some help from the babyfathers but they still get looked down on simply for having multiple kids by different dads - so being able to pay your own bills isnt enough to escape criticism from many quarters.

imo what some need to get their head around is that you don't have to breed for every man you have a relationship with. ultimately a lot of these short lived/short-term, informal unions really do not have to result in children. often there is not even a reasonable gap between the children of different men which can indicate a woman who is not that concerned with forming lasting, stable relationships before deciding to have a child.

however it is difficult to judge a woman for wanting more than one child. what is a woman to do if she has a long term committed relationship that fails after one or two children? she may well want to go on and have more children from a future relationship...but who is to say that next relationship will last forever? if it doesnt and she is left alone yet again, (this time with offspring from two men) - should a 'sensible' woman then make the decision to have no more children whatsoever, regardless of her age (she might still be of childbearing age) and the quality and duration of her future relationships? or should she just not have anymore relationships full stop?? its a hard one.

Le Moor - I'm definitely not into this 'how the kids turn out thing either', it's got survival written all over it and says nothing is learned from the past and suggests from a human nature perspective we are what we are, nature will take its course or in other words our brains are a redundant organ. Greys have our number based on this philosophy alone.

But more than anything else, I thing this perspective is an insult to the children as in many cases it's them and their own consciousness that make them grow into the people they are giving wotliss parents an easy way out.

Scatter LOL, you can take them out of the jungle but you can't take the jungle out of them But yeah, just ask yourself if it was one man for one woman how many women would be left on the shelf, in the name of 'go forth and multiply' these would be a humanitarian disaster, so for real, if men are supposed to have more than one women let it be structured as opposed to this kamikaze bullshit which lets be honest only looks half as bad as it really is because of the benefit system.

Most of the babyfathers I know saw their babymothers as theirs, they didn't expect them to go breeding for another punk, breeding them was a kind of way of marking their territory.

Also from a slackness point of view, this spreading seed thing falls flat when you consider many children are just a product of sex which does not take into account all the partners these men and women slept with but didn't breed for. That's not spreading seed, it's pagan promiscuity. We need some tribal rules around here like doing a bungee jump to prove your manhood which gives you the right to breed the village females

$haNny_Bu - just imagine waking up next to the one in the middle LOL

Le Moor - also this how you turn out thing, I guess all those African militants who spent their lives robbing, selling weed or bedding white women have now made it simply because they attended a protest march. Whatever happened to prevention is better than cure. It's regressive because the damage is done to us as a people even though an individual may turn their life around.

But for real, men were supposed to have several women, look to the animal kingdom and males are fighting each other for the right to breed them all, but again, more suggestion that we cannot rise above the mentalities of animals, and definitely not helped by women now believing their fannies are some sort of gold mine....worth eating LOL.

BP - lol, but don't you think it strange crackheads and nutters all seem to be somebody's babymother - some men really can't see past the pu$$y.

We live in times where being a man is seeing our children at random times convenient for babymothers i.e. babysitters and if lucky can buy a school uniform for the pikney dem. Babymothers/fathers paradise or what, quite clear to see why so many of us love it down a babylon.

Still crackheads and nutter babymothers, gives the man an even better chance of getting custody

I'm not buying this glossy hollywood fairytale ending...man talk about execessive optimism...on the percentages game the offspings from having kids from multiple ABSENT fathers would ultimately
culminate in the follwing so please ...
Next time you see the following don't emphatise..just turn away

Kids murdering each other for no reason..now isn't that some obscene SELF HATE
Kids getting expelled early from school
Kids having Kids...with multiple partners...how can one be a grandmother at 29-30???
Kids with overtly sexual aggressive behaviour and lack of respect towards women

Enough of this kids caught up in this never ending vicious cycle like it or not have cited not having a father figure has led them to seeking
that protective figure somewhere else...I know for a fact this multiple partner stuff is harder on the male offsprings of this brief meaningless encounters..as Obama says YES WE CAN...flip all this bullshit on its head

What is a 'grey?' I've heard this term often but never knew what it meant.

Very shocking to see the number of "men" (used loosely) who believe having more than one baby mother is acceptable, desirable or the natural order of things LOL...you have been duped truely duped.
Any man or woman who thinks its natural to have children left right and center is operating a mind that is clouded by what you have been fed through society or your own disjointed experiences with families, and shouldnt have any children until they go and think about what their reasons are....what a stereotypical ideal the black single parent family...the black fatherless son....the black irresponsible father...
i understand children can be born unplanned- and loved. But why plan or seek out several mothers of your "scattered seed" purposely.
not only is this SLACK having sex- unprotected with multiple partners it is also unnatural for children to grow up without a father living in the same house and part of the same family
you dont need stats or government trials to tell you single parent children have a harder time than two parent families even the ones who did live with their dads, look how their behaviour often changes when he is removed from the family home be it divorce death work schedule or whatever. Not only economically but also with discipline and emotional stability.
yes animals are supposed to mate with anything that walks, but since when did God make humans and animals equal? Arent we supposed to kill animals and eat them is THAT not the natural law of things? Not live as them, if thats how you think we should mate you might aswell go swing in the trees like the bush monkey or wallow in bodily waste like the dirty pigs that you watch and learn from...or maybe kill a bird and drag through the kitchen and leave it on the breakfast table- better still a rat!! Not me...that is why we have been given conciousness, personalities and reason so we are seperate from animals and have dominion over animalistic desires. that why man is man and beast is beast
I will STRIVE for all of my children to have the same second name, and to grow up with MARRIED PARENTS, black people WAKE UP! there is no glamour in the babyfather mantality it is BACKWARDS- put the coolade down and turn off MTV
I have a good friend whos father has 5 babymother and 7 children. They are all grown and over the years BITTERNESS and RESENTMENT has grown amongst them towards him because he was not around enough, he lied and cheated his way around the women and forgets the birthdays of his children, lets them down because he struggles to devide his loyalties and attention- half of them did not even know eachother until they were in their teens! IS THERE SOMETHING POSITIVE ABOUT THIS?
their family is disjointed, brothers and sisters "SCATTERED" across london and the "BABYFATHER" trying desperatley to ease his guilt by spending more time in church then with his 7 kids/ 5 babymothers. According to my friend he regrets his choices, and i know that none of them appriciate the mess that was created for them to grow up in. infact the youngest son was stabbed and died, and he had little to do with the boys up bringing, if he was there for him at least he could have tried to keep him out of trouble. If the boys parents were together throughout his upbringing may have been a completely different story, all his badness got him killed and was probably just for daddies attention
Why would you want this for your children? a selfish, loose and destructive form of Narcissism to prove you are an Alpha male that effects peoples lives.
let every man have his own wife and children and be the head of one family, I think thats what our community lacks, the "Spread seed and scatter" method CLEARLY aint been working too well thus far peeps
and by the way i mean no dissrespect to anyone who is a single parent

Melissa wrote
Astmart – again you assume she is bringing up these kids singlehandedly and that the fathers have no input. Does anyone know how much time Andre 3000 spends with his child? Work prob plays a part in her ability to hold down a relationship, not ideal but not a war crime. What do you know about any of these celebs? Keyshia Cole is a known slut, so is Rihanna and Alicia Keys is a bisexual predator who breaks up marriages,

LOL, evidence please?
Very harsh but also quite funny that you started with "what do you know about these celebs.." think you should answer that question before you ask it
and BTW evidence isnt bosspic or mediatakeout, best evidence would probably be from the horse's mouth



@ forum
why is everyone so quick on here to roll out the words "slut" "whore" "hoe"....damn this must be a forum of Godly righteous virgins...oh no wait, not according to the other threads i've read on here
get off your tall towers

Well then, Erykah was simply enabling three men to do what they are naturally supposed to do.................

@ Wifeable - very well said. I agree with everything you said, it just goes to show how casually some men see fatherhood. no wonder we're in the mess we are in. at least most of these women with multiple baby fathers are taking care of their kids to the best of their ability. for black people to elevate above their current position, the starting point really does have to be strengthening the family unit and self-discipline. to try to ignore this and then apply band aid solutions to our problems (mentors, african history lessons, preaching 'stop the violence' etc etc) is totally futile. nomination for post of the day?

@ afriki - a 'grey' is a caucasian person.

@ BP - no melodrama. a lot of drug addicts/alcohols/mentally ill women do indeed have children - whose kids do you think are filling up the social services care homes and waiting to be adopted or fostered? whose kids do you think are roaming the streets, getting into all sorts of trouble and basically bringing themselves up?

a lot of these women with problems that impact on their parenting skills don't look too bad as far as appearances go, not every crackhead or mad woman is smelly and ugly, so yes there will be men willing to have sex with them. If these men do not value their seed (which I think means they don't value themselves) and just see it as something to 'scatter' indiscriminately - babies will be made and the circumstances in which they are born will often be extremely dire.

you also have women who might not have such severe issues as addiction or insanity but are clearly not 'mother' material. they are also being impregnated and then neglecting, abusing or abandoning their children. also remember you have a lot of underage girls who end up making bad parents. in many cases the men who impregnate them are much older and really should be jailed for having sex with minors but this rarely happens. this irresponsible 'scatter seed' mentality is a serious problem, and creating new life is not something to be treated lightly, by either men or women.

btw I read quite a bit of that thread on Bossip and there is a lot of amusement to be had from some of the comments. there's a girl called SMDH on there and she is full of joke. quite harsh on black males but some of what she says is very true.

By the way, are there any brothas here who have a babymomma they share with another punk (he has a yoot for her as well), do you all get along?

I agree that she was a bit tacky with the way she addressed the critique but on what planet should a mother have to justify the existence and creation of her children? Especially when there are nuff critics to label those children accidents of sin; is that not enough? they want the mother to also admit to such? No good mother would. How would you react if demanded to justify things in your life to people of who's business it is not?
People have different obstacles in life and it's one's ability to deal with those obstacles which should be judged not just the situations themselves.

There is no one formula in life that guarantees a healthful upbringing, that's the beautiful thing about it. There are many paths to happiness and fulfillment and if what you're doing works for you and is getting you along the way then who are others to put their face in it?
Obviously her family works for her and her children. She seems to have great respect for the fathers, who seem to have great love for their children, just because it's not how you would go about things does not make it wrong or right, it just IS what it is.

speaking of 'trashy' - have you considered that a quality woman may not even be interested in associating herself with a man who has multiple baby mothers?

put simply, some women see a man with a trail of single mothers in his wake as trashy in the extreme and wouldnt even lower themselves to deal with him and run the risk of becoming another of his baby mothers.