Melissa wrote: of course a 7 or 8yr old should be in bed by 9pm latest on a school night but its mainly older teenagers involved in these kinds ofincidents and the parents of those children probably feel its okay to let them stay out a little later. some may have been staying out late since they were 6yrs oldbut u can be sure that some of those children have not always been allowed out so late.also it doesnt have to be 10pm for this kind of thing to happen - bad things can alsohappen after school (btween 4-6pm) so once a child is old enough to go and return from school alone, they are out there andcan be knocking heads withmore wayward children, and depending on the nature of the child possibly getting involved inbadness too. when your children are out of your sight it is hard to know exactly what they are doing and who they are with. the only way to be sure is if you actually trail them around yourself and how many parents of 15 or 16yr olds can realistically do that?

when i was growing up i had a friend that had very strict curfews and could never do anything after school or at weekends but the times she did get out...the stuff she used to get up to would have given her parents a heart attack if they had only known. she ended up havingan abortion at 14... and thatfoetus was conceived during school hours, in those days it was probably much easier to skive school tho. i had much more freedom but wasnt doing half the dirt she was. neither of us were shooting or stabbing people because thoseare the extremes of what your child could be doing away from your watchful eye; but lots of children do things their parents did not teach them and would be shocked to learn they were doing.

as u have children of your own melissa u may find that there comes a time when u have to just trust that they will behave when out of your sight. also remember that some of these kids out on the street screwing up their faces and acting wild are like little lambs when faced with their mothers and fathers and wouldnt dream of talking to their parents the way they do other adults. the kind of loud, raucous behaviour often witnessed when they are in groups on the street is just plain showing off and these kids know full well they will not get away with that in their home environments or around senior members of their own families. i do believe many of those children have a 'street' persona and a completely different attitude when they are indoors.

i am not convinced that most of these children are from homes where the parents dont care what they do and have even in some way caused them to do the evil they end up doing. i think its more reassuring for us to think that way,but the truth is often way different.

i think this is often easier said than done. in these times (and maybe all times) the job of a parent is so difficult because u can spend those early years doing all the things u think are enough to make your child stay on the correct path, and u may even start to feel like you have brought up a little angel...and then they hit their teens (start exercising their free will) and things canand often do change dramatically.

many children go thru a difficult phase but luckily most come thru it without major incident, the ones who dont are the ones we read about in the papers and comment about on internet forums.

@Bubz



All I know is is that I grew up being very conscious of not doing anything to embarrass my Mother....to be more fearful of what would happen to me by her hands than any ridicule I might have faced by not falling in line with my peer group.

This didnt happen by accident and this kind of parenting wasn't unique to my Mother,lots of children were raised this way,but it seems not enough are now.



It doesnt mean I was perfect,I certainly had my moments of backchat and teenage angstetc....but the boundaries were so clear,that I knew if i overstepped the mark in ANY way,FIYAH BUN!!

I don't think there is anything at all wrong with children being a little bit scared of their parents.....and i'm not talking about the parent giving the child bare licks...yes that has its place.....you can discipline and guide your child with well chosen words........also the fact that my Mom could give you a look which could turn you to stone didnt hurt either,lol.

tbh any child or even adult for that matter that can commit such terrible acts of violence over such trivial mattersmust have a screw loose. yeah, i mean there must be something seriously wrong with their brain that i'm not sure good parenting could have any effect on.

i do take the points that people have made about parenting being important, but i still dont accept that all children who turn out this bad are like that because of their parents. the reason i know that is because i know many who have had what could be considered poor parenting who dont grow up into thugs and in fact turn out to be responsible, decentmembers of society in every way; which means that parenting (whether good or bad) is only partly responsible for the behaviour of people. children are like dogs in one sense,in that no matter how well you train them...they can still switch.

There are always exceptions. My mother brought up a whole heap of kids by herself - all of us are now graduates, in serious relationships, and doing alright.

Still I resent the fact my dad was a lame, but having a strong mother made a lot of difference. I have a lot of respect for her cos she worked hard and she didn't make any excuses...leading by example is the only way to bring up kids.

stick-upKid wrote: [line]


Stick Up: you're classic example of why its not how many parents you have that matters..but the Quality of that parent/s...

The family of Hackney stab victim Stevens Nyembo-Ya-Muteba urgently need funds to cover funeral costs(click for details)


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