I find myself becoming increasingly worried about whether it ispossible to raise a confident African child, unaffected by the negative indoctrination I went through at school, unaffected by the negative images/concepts/beliefs of today's society, unaffected by the negative subliminal messages inbedded in day to day life in the UK....... I am afraid that I may subconciously pass on some of the 'faults' I may have learnt from my childhood or inherited from my parents...... I realise today's society might not be changed easily so I want to equip my child with the 'tools' she/he requires to survive as a confident, self-loving African in today's society?

To parents,did you ever feel this way? If yes, how did you overcome it?

Are there any books you could recommend for me to read?

Any information or advice you can offer me, would be greatly appreciated.

i always believe that if you want to raise a confident african child in the uk send the child to africa to spend some holidays or send her off to a boarding school for a year or two in africa . i'm glad that my mother gave me the chance to get an insight viewon how living in africa was like . it helped me and thats what i'm planning to do with my own kids . i grew being this confident girl who was never afraid to do anything , i was very outspoken compared to my cousins .

if you can't send your child to africa , you can teach your child the importance of our history , i don't mean tell her'him about how how whites took over africa and blah blah . tell her positives things .

cherrypie wrote:
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This is an excellent topic and I wish that there were more users who responded to this. I always think of ways of bringing up my son with African values in a British country. I came to the UK aged 2 and a few years on, I have these qualities but missed out on alot as i didnt grow up in Africa. Thanks to well grounded parents I have both African values and acknowledge a side of me that is also British. There are both advantages and disadvantages to this.

Thanks to everyone who posted & PM'ed me for the information and advise. I hope we can keep this going and continue to share information about this very important issue.

I definitely agree with sending children to Africa for a while - my parents did this andthe knowlegde & experience Igainedwas priceless.

Just make sure they're intouch with their cultural background. Send them back to the old country for a year or two if necessary. That is what I'm planning to do. Take a look at the Paki's, Indians etc... they have been in the UK for well over a hundred years yet they are still strongly connected to their culture. Impressive. Same with Somalis to a certain degree. It is possible.. very much so.

... everyone's already doing it ...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/03/19/neduc19.xml&sSheet=/news/2006/03/19/ixhome.html

I think Saturday schools (good 'Afrocentric' ones) can also be really helpful in instilling positive African values, culture and traditions in our children. The one most local to me has been going for years (like 20) and its an invaluable resource for African people. I couldn't possibly afford to send my child to a boarding school in Africa (nor would I want to really) nor do I have any family living there to spend time with, so although I've been there a little, I was on a bit of a 'tourist' tip which isn't comparable to really getting emeshed within the culture so for me, the benefits of regular weekly contact with the saturday school are invaluable. The school formally teaches African and Caribbean history, philoshophy and literature (as well as giving additional support with math andEnglish). Italso organises yearly trips and residentials, primarily educationand nothing dibby dibby either - I'm talking about taking a bunch of about 30 people (children and adults) to Africa a couple of years ago and its planning to do so again next year. I did a study some years ago for my undergrad dissertation that looked at the positive effects of an Afrocentric supplementary education in which I focused on the self-esteem and future aspirations of young Black adolescents. I compared children who attended the Saturday school with both Black and white children who didn't.On every measure I used (about 6 in all), the children who attended the supplementary schools outperformed both Black and white children who didn't which for me speaks volumes. Local councils should hold information about supplementary schools near to where-ever you live.

Good luck in raising our children peeps niceone.gif

Just remembered a book I read ages ago that might be helpful, its called 'Developing positive self-images and discipline in Black children' by Jawanza Kunjufu. Its a bit dated (early 80's) and its got an educational emphasis to it so perhaps isn't quite what you're after, but it could be a good starting place if you've not got anything else. At the back of the book are two pledges that I love:

"Pledge to parents

Thank you for bringing me into this world.

I look to you for love, guidance and wisdom.

You are my first and best role model.

I will do what you tell me to do.

I will always respect you.

All I ask, is that you understand,

I am a child trying to grow in a world not fit for children.



Pledge from parents

Thank you for coming into this world.

I will always love you and give you positive direction.

I understand I am your role model

and you are watching everything I do.

I will listen to you with respect.

All I ask, is that you understand

that before I was blessed with you

I had never been a parent"

Jawanza Kunjufu