I have a question to all parents in BNV, of big kids and little ones.

HAs parenthood been as you expected it to be? What has been the most challenging era for you, baby, toddler, child or teen.

To those who don't have big kids yet, what do you think it will be like when your little one grows up, are you asking around about what to expect? Or are you just gonna see what happens?

I diffinetly wasn't what I expected I had my daughter when I was 18 years old and shes four now and I have a two year old son. I knew that I would be able to look after them in the sense of clothing feeding washing etc. But having children is so much more than that. People may say of cause it is, and that I was stupid not to thing so. But is such hard work and I do enjoy it people never explain and talk to you about the other side of grounded your children preparing them for the furture which starts from day one. The planning the structure, routine and activites. Parenting isn't just about clothing them and stuff like that. I found that really hard and draining. But I've done it so far.

I found doing things that I had to do for them to develop very tiring at times, like making sure that we read books and go to the libraries making sure that they get out enough and are around other children, it might seem like small things but I think that it really makes a difference. So I suppose the education side has been hard.

Trying to figure out what disipline is the best. I have lots of friends that dont read to their children or take them to museums or even to parks it makes a huge difference to the behaviour of their children. They aint ever tired because they don't do anything.

I think that I'm in the most challenging them because they are so infleunced by their us as there parents and there developing there personalities and how they will become.

It's funny because everyone thought that my kids would be unruliy because I had them young, and people thought that I wouldn't know what to do or how to bring them up( even my family) and so far I've done it my way and I haven't had any problems I'm for ever being told what well behaviour happy children I have. I honestly think that if I had taken some of the advice from people that they would be that way. So when it comes to what they are going to be like as teenagers I will just wait and see.

My mother did the same with her four children we are 23,33,14,11 years and we haven't had been too bad. We are openabout parenting and are learning all the time we don't think we know it all and it's working for us.

The other half of my family that are middleclass we know it all type havemostlyhad problems with there kids which they never expected. They all thought that their kids went yo good schools, didn't associate with black people and all their kids have issues they didn't expect that!

I suppose that I do wander what my son is going like because they are so different to girls and i think that parenting proberly has to be different. That is something that I worry about in this society. What do you guys think about that ?