I've got two boys and sometimes I look at them and they are more Kane and Abel than Ronnie and Reggie. Especially when it comes to vieing for the love of their father, the jealousy between them is unreal. Saying that, being relative babies I see this more of a phase which I have to weed out of them as opposed to an inherent complex.

That said, I know big people of today who haven't spoken to siblings in years or in some cases have never got on with them and in many cases this seems to go down to the parents favouring one child over the other and in others it just boils down to a clash of personalities.

Anybody got brothers and siters they just can't get on with and do you just accept this as a personality clash or do you actually despise each another?

@Incoginito. Sibbling rivalry is a very deep and dangerous phenemon and as old as human kind. I have sibbling rivalry or seen it enough to package and sell it is so common. I have it in both sides of my family and in my wives family where it is really really ugly.

I think sibbling rivalry stems from several places. One is the perception of inadequacy which one may have in terms of their own self esteem. Jealousy and all that can come from that. The other is where parents clearly discriminate or favour one child over another. There is another side and women are the major culprits here where the deliberately play politics with their children. I know because I have seen my mother and aunties do it day in and day out. My father has no favourites or any clear favourites. Just basic principles which apply to everyone except me and the my oldest sister where harder rules and principles tend to apply.

I think with mothers and women there is often a conflict between politics and tactics and good parenting. My mother for example and I have told her makes me more enemies with her mouth, than I need, as if I don't have bone fide adversaries already.

For example when young and one of my sibblings piss her off my mother would say do you think somebody would have to tell your elder brother that...Like I need it. Even today I often hear things from other family members usually elders and I just have to shake my head and say if that lady was not my mother and a good one I would strangle her with my bare hands...

Four years ago I was back home with my wife and I heard my brother was flying in...Thought cool because my younger brother by himself is safe. Anyhow, I then hear my brother's crazy and insecure like a mad hatter girlfriend or to be honest one of them comes with her fast self and flies to our country and phones my mother from the airport. Now my brother is into looks big time. But he attracts these hot looking girls who are crazy like hell. So probably why he always needs two in these insecure relationships...Because once he sees the madness he kinds of backs off, but never quick enough and onto another mad one to balance up the score or plan his getaway route..God knows.

Now lucky for her my father had flown to another island to watch cricket with his vetrand buddies and was coming home soon. Anyhow my girl phones up my mum who see knows..My mother does not approve of her, but she can't force my brother as he is a grown arse man. The woman tells my mother she has a surprise for her and my stunned mother then hears that my girl is at the airport.

Now bredrin I was down south by my father's people, when my first cousin phoned me and filled me in like a good solider because he knew I might walk into shit unknownly and tipped me off. I was pissed when I heard this cheeky little English girl dare to phone my mother like she and her are same size or friend and tell her that she has a secret for her. What is she my brother's wife who is expecting a baby or something?

No she is a very very insecure woman who has a man she is struggling to keep, because she never thought in all her life she could get a strikingly good looking and very suave individual like my brother. Secondly, she knows how my brother loves being in his country and how popular he is with the girls. Ever since he was a teenager and we went back home, you would see my brother the first day and then missing in action. His girl cousins, of which there are many, would just wisk him off with them and their girlfriends and that is the last you will see of him. Next thing you will hear he was on some private beach living like a king with his cousin and a handful of their friends admirers around him 24/7.

So there is no way my girl is going to allow him to be out there and on top of that I am there and other cousins are their with their partners. So as my mother said she is so forced ripe and think she is family and has a right rather than going through due process. My mother has no time for any woman who she says comes in from the back door, because she came in from the front door.

Apparently, after a week at my parents place things started to get very very tetchy...According to my mother and her partner in crime my aunt they had never seen a more lazier woman in their lives. Regretably for some of our women in this country they know very little about making genuine postive impressions, particular with the women of the man's family; especially mine who don't joke...In fact if my younger sister was there you would have need police, because the mouth on that when it is pissed god help you.

She obviously does not come from a culture to know that the women in the family will be watching her like a hawk, to see what she is made of and if she is of calibre...On top of that my mother does not like her from day one. The woman I heard did not get off her arse once to contribute to anything and allowed older women to do everything which you and I know is just suicide...She is lucky they did not poison her or go and check the obeah man to quite her arse because my mother people don't joke in these things..

But she did one thing that made my mother almost flip. My mother noticed my brother in the wash room where she has her washing machine and all things related to that type of stuff and noticed that my brother was not only washing his clothes but hers...Well that was the spark that lit the fuse..Bro I come from conservative CAribbean women. They don't care if you are a PHD or a corporate executive, unless you are sick or not at home they expect you the woman to lead in these areas and they don' t want to hear about white people or modern attitudes or this or that..Just too long and complicated and taking the piss...On top of that my parents love my wife and as for my ex don't even start....That just make the whole thing even worse....

If it needed further fuel, my mother and aunt over-heard my girl talking to my brother disrespectfully with her London Jamaican attitudes and were waiting to hear him put his foot down or in her arse which ever..Diplomacy or not they were not impressed with what they heard and the general weak performance of my brother and this woman's dominance and rudeness, if not almost arrogance.

My mother had enough and summond her son to one of the rooms and told him firmly about his arse for want of a better term. Fair enough, but and hear is my mother for you, like my brother has not taken enough shame already...She informs him do you think your elder brother Fred would ever bring such a woman under his parents roof and furthermore she would have the front to talk to him in such a manner that his family would over hear.

If things were not bad already, my girl with her fast mouth and self came out and try to get involved in my mother's conversation with her son...Well, I was told my mother just blazed it and scorched it red. If my dad was there that could not go on....And then if it could get worse it did my aunt mymother's twin sister andangle of deathtold her to take her arse out of people's family business and basically who the **** she thought she was....

By this time my father is on the plane coming home and I am literally parking up outside my parents home with my girl and one of my female cousins comes out and says couz you have come just at the right time because its just kicked off...

Brother, I had some food (yam, dashin, sweet potato,banna, fruits etc) which I took from our land down south for my parents and told my cousin to give it to my mum and aunt and I would be back soon.

Like hell..Man me and my girl went to town did what we had to do, went for lunch, shopped and when we had enough got back in the jeep and drove south and stayed there until shit calm down and prefably my brother and his girl and flown back to England.

Women and their mouths...

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Well I guess I grew up in a 'traditional' family of mum, dad, brothers and sister which experienced it's fair share of sibling rivalry. I've even had cheeky grey boys call my family dysfunctional and others whose family was so fragmented it only formed under one roof when the children were well into their twenties...and these people want to tell you about dysfunctional.

I still like to believe as adults, especially raising children, you see this for what it is but man there are some serious stories out there.