man well its saturday morning at im about to take my lil boy football for 9am its a pain to give up my saturday morning kip but its good excercise and he enjoys it so its all good.

BUT talking toa few of the african parents there you would swear their children are gonna play for Man united by the way they talk even though the kid shows no obvious talents they tell how me for example how their son does maybe 3 sports classes a week then joins his sister for singing/dancing/acting lessons on the weekend and im like "DAYUM hope you dont get all dipressed when they dont become famous"

so this is a two folded question thread.

question 1

do you think we as parents of African children push for stardom/celebrity status for our children too much? I mean seriiously I see talent shows packed full of African kids doing all kinds of crazy shit..... whats wrong with just being the best at what you do? whay you gotta be the next beyonce?

question 2

you lil boy/girl is fast growing up and has visions of becoming the next Beckham/Beyonce as a parent how much push would you apply to get them there while at the same time keeping the akademic (sp) route open see you have to stike a balance too much push and you end up in dreamland along with them, not enough an you become a "hater" trying to steer them away from their hopes n dreams.

I see your point.

Well, I would certainly support my childs dreams, and as you said, as a parent, you most def... have to keep their academia above all other extra curricular activities.

Me being me though, I would try my up most to do all possible for my child, even if I did not think he/she was very talented, I would pay for extra classes and basically wait for my child to come to the conclusion - damn, I fed up with this now. However, I wouldhave to let themknow that in life, we dont always get we want - hopfully without breaking their confidence.

I think it's really good that parents encourage out of school classes, but yes, you do get those that try and live their dreams through their kids - not a good thing.

SOME1'S LITTLE BOY OR GIRL IS GONNA BE FAMOUS WHY NOT YOURS, THERE IS A POSSIBILITY NO MATTER HOW SMALL.

MY LITTLE ONES GOING TO BE A RACE CAR DRIVER, I CAN TELL HE IS ONLY TWO BUT IS MOST OBSESSED WITH CARS AND DRIVING. ITS NUTS, QUITE BAD HOW FAR HE WILL GO TO GET INTO A CAR... I DONT DRIVE SO THAT MEANS LOTS OF CABS.

IF A CHILD IS DEADLY PASSIONATE LET THEM DO THERE DREAM AS WELL AS EDUACTION . THEY WILL HATE YOU IF YOU DONT!I KNOW THREW PERSONAL EXPERIENCE! IF THEY ARE DOING SOMETHING THEY ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT THEY ARE MORE LIKELY TO DO WELL ACCADEMIALLY AS WELL SO LONG AS THEY ARE ENCOURAGE EQUALLY AT BOTH THINGS!

Whatever my children want to be I will push them all the way but as a parent I believe it's my job to provide for the eventuality that they haven't the skills to make something decent of themselves in babylon. The last thing I would do is tell them what they should be though I would tell them what they should not be...a mini cab driver for one. Though that said, there can't be nothing worse than wasted talent.

support and encouragement

@ incognito

some1s got to be a mini cab driver lol...

some of them make money. a lot of money.

i personally think its a bad idea telling children what not to do, because it is negative. i am young however i have worked with children and have found that negativity doesnt help no-one unless it scares the sh*te out of them. Even then thats short lived.

maybe im wrong. but i doubt any child want to grow into a cab driver.most children get really confused about what they want to do and become because these days; there are so many options, and when faced with so many options itsmakes desiding much more difficult. however they probably know what they dont wanna do and become withoutus telling them.

*** plus theres always a possibilty that we'll step on there dreams. once thats been smithered children can become unispired.

Specialle - growing up I based my ambition on being caught near to death in a desert only to be saved by some people asking if we save you, whathave you got to offer.

Many a positive can and has been created from the negative..all depends how you drop it. The ambitious with a nudge or two will look after themselves...but then in an ironic way i see myself as grafting so my children don't have to. I'd rather they be in a position where they can focus on helping others less fortunate in their community without having to worry where a roof or their next loaf of bread is coming from.

The last thing I'd definitely wouldn't do is have children expecting them to bring money into the house - or do what I myself didn't set an example for. I couldn't stand that mentality of the last generation and vowed I wouldn't pass that on to the next. My children must be free....responsible but free....to do whatever they choose.

Telling your son to be a doctor, lawyer or accountant while you're driving your mini cab. Not me...even worse if you expect it from them when your own parents expected it from you....what was your excuse. If my children can't make it academically then the parents should provide the alternative. Don't put your trust in babylon.Children shouldcarry on where their parents left off,not playing catchup for their wotliss ar$e.

..and if you as the parent can't provide (some people are just academically dunce period) - then we have should have strength in depth in community!..which I guess includes mini cabbing

I will not be interested if my daughter/son wants to be the next big rapper/singer/footballer. I have seen this too many times, and find it annoying. Unless I can see they are of exceptional talent.........even then I will still be hesistant..............there is a lot of off-key people moving around in those industries.

Try and show mesome excellent school reports not your second verse/latest dance. When you are 16+ with a good set of GCSE's/A levels then we can talk about "Dreams".

In saying that, extra-curricular classes - be it dance, music, football, swimming areproven to help develop kids memory, motor skills, to be team players, competitivenessetc. So I will always encourage my kids to have fun/learn and take on these classes, but not with a view of it being a career.