Wasthe night before Christmas
and the place was crowded
Kin folks was everywhere
Merry Christmas! someone shouted

Uncle Leroy was wasted
and it's only 3 o'clock
I put on some Marvin Gaye
and the place begun to rock

Children were shaking presents
wondering what was inside
When we gonna eat!
I heard uncle Leroy cried

There was collard greens and yams
with the turkey and dressing
The sweet potatos was jumpin
would someone please say the blessings

A small portion said aunt Bertha
you see,I'm watching my weight
But two seconds later she's
the first to pile food on her plate

It's about quarter to eleven
and it's great to be alive
I was drinking ole English
and some Colt 45

And chasing it down
with a fifth of gin
The next thing I knew
the room begun to spin

I stumbled to the bathroom
but did'nt get very far
Hit my head on a table
and begun to see stars

But as drunk as I was
I did'nt give a heck
so there on the floor
I layed on my back

Then the stench of vomit
was all over the place
My clothes was a mess
and it was all over my face

Then my bladder let loose
and my pants were soaked
The smell was enough to
make a sewer rat choke

I cursed then farted and
reached for another beer
I gave a toast to myself and
shouted a Happy New Year cheer

I sung a few Carols
before finally passing out
I was drunk as a skunk
that's with out a doubt

I knew I must have
been a pityful sight
But as far as I'm concern
I've had one hell of a night