For many years now..... I struggle with my life...
the oppotunities I've passed up on
the many goals I could have reached.....

I had almost everything....
the good job
the good friends
no household responsibilities......
Living at home was a good thing..........

So where did it all go wrong?

Was it when my parents announced
that their gonna sell the house.....
no choice of who you live with...
just follow your mother...
I want my own house.....

It's true.... you've said it for years...Dad
What would it be like
to have a bachelor pad of your own?
No one to harrass you....
Sleep as long asu can
No dirty dishes in the sink
No daughter ****ing up everything.....
Please..... she couldn't even make an A or a B
on a simple exam...... how dumb is she!!!!!

What happened to the clever girl I was suppose to have?
the long hair.... the good brains....
the smooth skin..... and at least 4 A's and a B.....

Well Dad.... how many times did you tell me
I was beautiful..... I am loved?
When was the last you complemented me....
on a job well done....
Where was my dad... when I won all those trophies...
I danced my heart out you know....
I was so good at that...
but how would you know....

Oh yes.... you had to work....
but do they not give you time off?
Was not my talents enough....
for you..... to have enough pride...
to watch and say....
thats my daughter out there....
hug me and kiss me
lift me high......

I wasn't a bad kid...
of course I had my flaws....
which kid don't....
You did tell meonce....
you would never hurt me....
of course this followed after
you knocked my mum out....

Do you want to die Bitch?
I remember those words....
As you stood over her...
your hands at her throat....

I guess on this occasion
I was to blame.....
I mean I did leave a dirty container...
you found it hidden away..
in my room I think...
my memory is hazed by the axe
raised to my face....

I know you couldn't hurt me....
I think.... no... I know..
Cause I'm your daughter....
it wouldn't be right.....

But then.... you did make it up to me
You paid for my trip
to see the pyramids...
So I guess were even.....

Old wounds need to heal...
they tell you that everyday...
Don't hold grudges.... be as good to
him as you can.....

I know I still love you...
I have an always will
Never had the courage to tell you....
a sign of weakness.... may be all you see
another diasppointment.... I guess!

I said I would write a letter....
explain to you... how I feel....
look you in the eyes..... and say you hurt me
over and
over and
over...... again and
again......
Never had the courage to speak up
Mum tried to alwayz have my back...
but then wouldn't she be taking the risk of
meeting your fists........ as little as being slapped..
Hello emergency?
My mummy needs help again.....

Am I this weak..... that I can't forget the past?
You know maybe Dad was right.......
I'm the wrong daughter to have....

Maybe if I pray..... I mean pray real hard
wish upon that fallen star
which I've been waiting for
all this time.....
Pray I can redeem myself.....
become everything he wants me to be.....
But will that be enough
Do I not want him to see me
love me
for me?

I guess I ain't ready
to confront what I thought I could.....

Is it my self esteem?
Or am I just misunderstood?
Or am I just looking for that one
person to love me.......
unconditionally....

Enough is Enough...



Dear Daddy......

Sad

I don't know really how to reply to such a responce :?

But I thank you and appreciate your patience to read this!

"This too shall pass" E.Lynn.Harris

Like I told you already...DEEP!...
I think that's what the last person meant by "SAD"...

that is a beautiful and powerful it really shows the feelings of a mentally abused child and the way people try and compensate after they hurt you keep up the good work!

that was deep.....it reminds me of them people who always screwing up and think they could just go back to t thing as they were, without even stopping to think about how wrong their actions were........i look forward to reading more of your poems

that is 1 of themost powerful and touchingthings i've eva read. i'm not sur wat 2 say apart from... thats some DEEP stuffblktears