Sometimes I wish

I wish that it wasn't so bad

that the memories are just a dream

That you didn't scar me like you did

leave me helpless, hurt, and confused

Pushed me to look for love from someone else's arms

for you to use us for your gain

To make a child endure so much pain

that you didn't leave us parentless for years

for me to create lies to cover the truth

but those lies, those imaginary truths

were the only thing keeping me sane

it's the wishes i held on to, wishes I knew would never be reality

but i held on, more than anything I wanted your love, your approval

I wanted you to hug me so I could cry the hurt away

now i sit here wandering, trying to heal from the wounds

that I think are too deep

I still wish, for the child in me still hold on to my dreams

But the adult in me knows that wishes

don't always come true.

blkcrybeautiful. again.......my life story....

I'm hoping for a better day,

One where the pain has gone away,

It doesn't come, the hurt still stays,

SoI lose myself in this misty haze.



And when I'm there, nothing's real,

No confusion that I have to feel,

Yet I wish thatI could heal,

Coz with this s h i t I just can't deal.



I lie awake and simply stare

At the face that isn't there.

He smiles at me and strokes my hair.

He let's me know that he DOES care.



And for a moment I feel fine,

I think that I have crossed the line,

I think that i'm out of that bine,

Then I wake. ....

and find I was dreaming.