This was actually written by a friend, who asked me to stick it on the forum since she's not a member. It was actually written as a song (verse two wasthe refrain).

She actuallywrote this after a conversation she and I had about how people make you feel like being single is always your own fault for being 'too fussy' etc:



I won't apologise for being sick of being alone

Or for searching for that someone to help build my happy home.

But nor will I apologise for knowing my own worth

Or for wanting to find someone who thinks I'm worth putting first.



I can’t wait to be a wife, and

I can’t wait to share my life

But for refusing to settle for less than I deserve

And for waiting for the magic of a true and lasting love

And for wanting to find someone to share all I have to give

I will not apologise.



All my life I’ve struggled just to get to where I am

That’s the burden and the blessing that a strong black woman has

Sometimes to protect myself I may seem hard as stone

But that doesn’t mean that I deserve to spend my life alone.



And people, please stop saying “it’ll happen any day�

Or “as soon as you stop looking, Mr Right will come your way�.

I know there’s someone out there whose life I could make complete

I just wish there was a way I could ensure we’d ever meet….

More strong black woman sh!t - probably one of babylons daughters..

Q. Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullsh!t in order to be comfortable?

A. That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the f*ck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

Know who it is you need to be strong against!

Incognito wrote: @RPL nice poem from your friend. clp)

BFG - For real. There's a lot of sadness in the world. Quite sad. I must learn to be more sensitive.

And remember, where there's God, loneliness is a walk in the park.

Incognito wrote: co-sign
niceone.gif

I suggested that my friend post her own response to the negative stuff you said about her song, but she didn't want to

But personally, I just wanted to say that I think (and hopefully she agrees with me) that you clearly missed the point of it and focussed on a single line that represents apart of her reality.

If she feels she's a strong black woman, and that being so is a burden and a blessing, who are you to judge her?

But actually, the song (and I know she agrees with me on this) is about being okay with being single evenif being single is not what you ultimately want - by consciouslychoosing not to settle for less than you deserve.

Damn!! Why people always got to pick on something negative!! If you don't like her words, that's your prerogative, but there's no need to be so mean about it!!

RPL - RIP.

Not really. I ask for your forgiveness. The ability for your friend to write a song as a means of finding peace is extremely admirable. A lesser person would have jumped off a bridge.

Respect, Peace and Love wrote: RPL- just wanted to give your friend some encouragement. Dont pay Igncognito any mind - you have to know him to understand why he reacted as he did to the song. Having said that, I do undertand why he had a gut reaction to your friend's song.

I am the quintessential strong, black woman and I absolutely believe that there is nothing wrong in knowing your own worth. But in the quest for a husband it is probably more important to know the worth of your man and to focus on preparing yourself for that role of wife.

It's a 2 way street, you know, it s not just about you going out there "selecting" - its also about you asking yourself: what makes me so special that the man that I would select would, in fact, also select me?

just my thoughts.

Im fed up with it as well. This " Im too good for most black men/ strong black woman looking for prince charming bollocks." is almost the norm wherever you open a magazine or newspaper.

Curl up and die then.

Man I've hooked up with three homeboys I haven't seen for a while and damn they all dwelling with greys. Man I just had to grin and bare it - I'm sure they too got a poem about not apologisingniceone.gif.

Thanks to all the encouraging people in here.

I'm pretty vex that my friend won't come in here and post her own comments, but sod it, I have something to say.

Like my friend, I am black, a woman, and have overcome a lot of adversity and therefore feel I am well within my rights to identify myself as a Strong Black woman without expecting to be beaten down by the nearest black man.

And somebody, please, educate me as to how being a strong black woman, and/or knowing one's own worth, equates to "I'm too good for most black men"?

Sounds like some people here are insecure about their OWN worth, frankly.

I love black men, and I dream about finding the right one to spend the rest of my life with. But that does not mean I have to settle for the first man that comes along and treats me like crap. In my life I've been in love with a man who physically abused me, in a relationship with another who tried to emotionally abuse me, and one guy who tried to bleed me dry (financially). I don't believe that has anything to do with the fact that they were black. ANY man could treat a woman that way. It just so happens I was with BLACK men who treated me that way, because my preference is to be with a black man. My friend (who wrote the poem) also prefers black guys. I've seen some amazing, beautiful examples of black men and women in great relationships, and THAT is what I aspire to.

Why shouldn'twe choose to be with men who treat us like we're special, and important, and worth coming home to every day for the rest of their lives?

*kmt*

sorry, but I get vex when peopleimply that being proud of who you are and not allowing anyone to take that away from you makes you some kind of stuck up b!tch.

Thought I was done, but I'm still vex...

I'm speaking only for myself now, not at allfor my friend, but I also want to add something.

At the risk of attracting a verbal beat-down, I can tell you this: I am a kind, generous, respectful woman who loves making people happy. Making people happy is my motivation. Knowing that I am this type of persondoes not mean I am an arrogant person, and nor does it mean I think I am a suitable partner for any old person.

I know that should the right man come along, and if I recognise him as such, I will devote myself (without necessarily abandoning my personal goals) to making the relationship work and makinghim happy. I have never been a selfish girlfriend, and I see no reason why I should start now.

But given that I know I am a loving, giving person, it's probably more important than ever that I ensure I find someone (unlike my exes) who will not take advantage of that. Is that wrong of me?