Ups and downs lies,love,false desires erupt and cloud
healthy judgement.Innocence given,welcomed and received.
in hindsight should have kept it shouldnt have gotten broken down
laid there.. driven all over town. More taken eachtime everytime
You loved and hurt me all the same..the song in the background says.
Words from others meant nothing
walking this journey..this pilgrimage to an enlightened state but we faltered and failed along the way.


I gazed upon you like you was a king..and i happily stood beside you and gained my own imaginary crown.
But being a king takes unfaltered gentleness and strength you battled with both and i was thrown on either direction.
Now i lay here.Im silenced because i know dwell in the unknown. Been 2 years of not being alone.

Absolutely beautiful

That sounds strangly close to home for me (as that's how I bet some of the sisters I have been with would like to view me)

I hope you don't mind me saying this but I have always though that there is an eerie beauty that permiates from ones misfortunes and that is what I think you have captured here. In such a short space you've managed to compact a relationship full of fluctuating emotion. I like this.

May i ask, how long have you been writing?

yeah i think your right...someone of the most deep and beautiful feelings come out when your in an emotional situation.. albeit love or pain..or a mixture of the two.
I haven't been writing all that long.It all just builds up inside me and writing can be a release.

Nights are torture. I see myself lying next to you..i can feel you relax..sleep.. gently breathe against the back of my neck.
Your toned..strong muscular mahogany arm enveloping me..protecting me.

We boast of a great whirlwind of a romance..different backgrounds..different outlooks..one great love.
One great love- made up...pretended..finished.
My emotions run back and forth. I love you and cant stand you inbetween breaths.

As you put me on this pedestool to only leave me on it.Im close to dropping and your not there to grasp me from mid air.
The air that fills my distant soul.Beneath my heart above my stomach. the emptiness is oddly filling. It pangs with images of other great "loves".. bitterness becomes sweet honey but im full

You would rock through me and take me to heights you've only seen
yet i urged for more.You think uve seen heaven until you realise that you were never there. what a cover up. The sheet of clouds has been ripped down to
display an unloved garden.

Im not sure what emotion will come out when i see you next..Rage.. desire.. a juxtoposition of the two. I havent see you to put across the fury.
I will do my best to not beg.. to barter for your heart
Maybe i dont love you ..maybe i love the idea of you..

Days have dragged on. nolonger check my phone to see a miss call or txt even,
it will be the way i left it.
Chargin in the wall .. no calls for it to play my heart song. This isnt depression its a loneliness with a lack of understandin
use to be a strong woman..provisions for my other half. Petrol..clothes.. food.. cigarettes...space..caramel skin..flexbility ..lady in the street..

Im just looking for a way out. this maze of you and i is unfinishing. I cannot stay in the house..but i cant leave either.

Promises are a comfort to a fool... and i encompass my label.

I hope this is a process of healing.

It's good to have a release such as this one. I used to use writing poetry as a release but got kinda scared at the sheer amount of darkness that left my pen. It didn't even feel like I was writing anymore, it was like my pen started to hold a pain separate from my own, born of my own, one I didn't like. So I started writing a fiction novel instead. It's a little less dark and a lot more fun (creating a life from a pen).

Anyway I'm rambling. Your poem holds an eloquence I can enjoy equally every time I read it. I would like to see what you create when it comes from your happiness. Keep up the work.

Hotep.

To know all things have an end and to fear any end, this is the folly of all things, but in love, this becomes the greatest folly of all.

That is the mantra I have always lived by until rescently. I loved, lost, smiled and was extremely afraid. Love left me behind and has repeatedly done so over the last few years. Thoughts of lonliness became my entire minds work and I couldn't understand why. Until I remembered the purpose of my belief in all ends being the only thing not to fear.

An end is but an overshadowed beginning, shrowded in regret, and thus, witheld from it's purpose. I had to realise that I didn't have any regrets before I could reach for the beginning that hid playfully in the shadows of my own perception.

My regrets were born of my wants. My want for things to be as they were, my want to change things I had done, to get that feeling back. My regrets were forgotten when I realised my needs, and the needs of my ex (which should have always been more important to me). I no longer want for my selfish desires but I want for both our needs to be met. I cannot regret that we are incapable of meeting each others specific needs because I know we are as we are supposed to be. I am able to depart with a true smile on my face because I don't care to hurt her with what I want anymore, I care to smile when she gets what she needs and for this I gained another friend.

This is my healing process in a nutshell.

You should remember yours when you get to it because although it will be harrowing, you may look back on it as a fond memory of growth as I do.

Hotep

Apart from the children, the saddest thing about my ex was see her turn into this liar to disguise the fact that she wasn't in it for money. But yeah, nice poem

Should also mention they hypocrite and the abortionist and the waggonist who took the opportunity to play the 'help the poor damsel in distress' card as a means to disguise the fact they were hiding from their own amorality and wotlissness. Together I call them the four stooges, Bimbo, Bubu, Baby-Killer and Maitland - the names say it all - but yeah...nice poem

"When the relationship is over" ?


Ask yourself.


Did the relationship ever really begin?


What kind of relationship can people classified as Black expect to achieve inside a White Supremacist Racist cage?

@ RESS

It felt like a relationship.. at times. Other times it felt like a false excuse to just be with someone i guess at times. Which exactly why it is nolonger an option.

Regarding the " What kind of relationship can people classified as Black expect to achieve inside a White Supremacist Racist cage?"

You want to possibly shed some more light on what it is exactly you are trying to say.

The quality of a relationship is relative to and sometimes dictated by the environment.

So when relationships do not go well .. what is it that our environment is giving off? What has society set which has helped supposedly contribute to the relationship downfall.??!!