The very thought of him, excites every cell within me.
I can see him, smell him, taste him
The satisfaction that brushed against my lips intrigues me
Can you love someone as much as this and still be sane
I'm bordering on im lucid but comfortable in constant insanity

I scrawl my pc looking for glimpses of him, his spoken and jotted words.
My heart races in the thought of him,
His soul so strong, his character stable and sturdy like magohgany table.
His strong features like chocolate marble.

Hes not a song,hes not a verse
he's the rhythm,the tempo,the wave of musical emotion.
He will always be the start and finish to every melody.
Together we play the soundtrack to our future.

With lifes complexities i see clearly with him in mind,
better to have loved and lost than to never have had the opportunity

I'm ready for the first day of the rest of my life, so i just wait.. as i am not the only one with these feelings.

I must wait for the drifting, like two ships in the night and he finally docks at my harbour.

The very thought of him..

Shes has had the baby
Your life is now more complex
I crave the shortest call, a brief text
2 hour calls at twilight
The only time I do get

I miss you
I hear you, I understand the issue
The distance isn’t the killer
It’s the lack of knowing
Not seeing the future creates worry
The Almighty says worry not
I say send him sooner lord

I need to get away , this is the wrong avenue
Im not safe here in this situation
This passage leads to pain and dejection and I just fought to get out
And I lead myself into another battle
Your heart feels so much but there is the push and pull of what is right and wrong
Woke up and got on my knees praying to my father for no repetition of history
I ask for strength and key intuition that I protect myself from grief

I switch my phones off so I don’t get tempted,
Listening to chains.. And I haven’t laughed in awhile
Why do I do this?
Its not right.. Follow someone into the pit of doom. I skip there joyously
Like a lamb to slaughter, setting myself up

1 day im strong.. 6 days im not..

He lays there with her the baby in-between them, supposedly thinking of me
What do I believe..

God free me from myself.
Why cant I be alone, strengthen myself and wait, wait til the right person comes along
But no I go back… exactly the same.. And everyone has changed.
And I stay chained

What am I doing?
Its so tiring so hard.

Try to get closer to you and walk away scarred.
Thought I could deal with the sharing, deal with the fleeting moments
But what am I meant to do?
Cant complain, I agreed to the terms and conditions but behold!
Just didn’t know the weather would be so cold.

I just need you here, need you closer than close
What am I meant to do, does anyone have a answer to the question I dare to ask.
That one night replays in my head continuously, each time a re-run of ecstasy.

I want you completely.. Deeply..fulfil me.
Don’t know how long my back will stand with the added pressure.
I await your touch, await the exchange of pleasure.

Cant make him choose, so girl you adapt.. Girl you Act!!

Just don’t mess up the journey., strengthen and arm yourself for the upward pilgrimage for the desire of your heart.