Greetings Everyone,

Long time I know but I hope you all are well and trust that you're in true BN form as always.

I'm asking this question because I'm beginning to have second thoughts about what I'm doing and whether or not it's really what I want. It may sound strange but I thought I'd finally found what I wanted to do but now....I'm not too sure:?.

There's so many things I'm interested in doing and my business is only one area of interest.

My questions to you:

1) Are you doing what you always wanted to do?

2) If so how did you get there?

3) Did you ever go through stages as I am now?

4) How did you finally decide what you wanted?

Please go ahead and let me know your thoughts on this one.

No matter what you do, you will always have doubts especially at a time when things are not going according to plan or there is not so much light at the end of the tunnel so to speak, or what you want to achieve seems so far away.

I always try find time for all my interests as well. Granted sometimes it is not possible time money etc, but it's not always about studying the conventional way to learn certain aspects of whatever that interest maybe. And because you are drawn to it anyway it doesn't feel like a chore when learning more or perfecting your skills in it. There is no pressure at that time of making money, meeting deadlines or passing exams etc, but future wise you never know when those skills will come in handy.

Plus if you can make a lil extra change from other interest it's an added bonus. Dip into as many areas as you can is what I say.

Maaaaat! Long time sis, hope you are well.

I don't think i'm really qualified to answer the questions posted but i'm know for sure i'm on my way to doing what I want.

LOL Ya big head! You even had me clickingto closeyour avatar thinking it was an ad :P

Maat - happy new year and seasons greetings. There's an old saying that goes 'want it want it can't get it, get it get it don't want it'. I do have personal repetitive habits but as far as ambition and achievement goes my goalposts are moving targets.

I'm one of those people who get bored very quickly, once I do something I'm more one to say been there done it as opposed to dwell on it and you soon realise how finite the world can be to the degree you actually get more satisfaction in helping others reach their goals.

When I hear all these celebrities like Robbie Williams going iinto rehab and everybody saying how he has everything in life already and there's nothing left for him to buy, then you know these people are selfish. I couldn't have that amount of money sitting depressed in rehab while people in Africa are starving....but then maybe these people have reached the point where they are stiff bored of donating to charity as wellconfused3

Hello Maat,

I achieved almost all I wanted by the time I was 30.

It felt like the rest of my life was going to be one big holiday, indeed I was bored of the prospect of living aimlessly. So I invented more goals and these have also come to fruition.

I keep my goals modest just out of reach in the medium term (4-5 years)

Currently I am achieving another goal in the City that is challenging with rewarding prospects but more importantly keeps the mind stimulated.

Lord Byron once said:

" I must find a system or I will be living under someone elses"

My main motivator is the saying:

"Find something you love doing for a living, and you will never have to work again".

Finally, I like to remember the times at school, the best time: The Summer Holidays, I try to make sure that I enjoy my work and life justlike I did during the summer holidays of school if I am not I am doing something wrong.

Maat wrote: while doing another job i hated, i had alot of free time as it was in the evenings. so i did some voluntary work with children during the day. wasn't really thinking it would lead to teaching. was more thinking about the social work side. But most of my voluntary work was within schools, so that swayed me to teaching. Always liked kids, just never liked the idea of teaching. But after a while i applied for a PGCE, did the course, passed the course and voila!! (almost!)

3) Did you ever go through stages as I am now?

most definatly. the first time i went to uni was because i wanted to go into journalism as i used to really enjoy writing. my aim was to make a name for myself in magazine writing to make publishing a novel easier (ahhh, such childhood dreams lol). In the end (unfortunatly AFTER my degree!) i decided that that whole world was just too cut throat and nasty. So i went through a loooooooooooooooooooooong period of not knowing what i wanted to do at all. (about 3-4 years) It was during this period i had the crappy dead end job and started voluntaring.

4) How did you finally decide what you wanted?

i guess it was decided for me when i started to enjoy wrking with kids in the context of a school. It was during my PGCE though that i felt that teaching itself was just far too stressful. Had a short period of unemployment after my pgce, then got job number one working with children in an educational context, though not in school. and i am continuing to enjoy that job, but now i also have a job as a teaching assisstant and i am also enjoying that. I never thought i could be happy doing the kind of work i had always said i never wanted to do lol

my advice? when thinking about what you want to do, don't cut off any career paths. I know its preferable to focus on what you enjoy or are qualified for, but try to widen your scope anyway. You never know!

MB I think your situation is more normal. People grow and change and what I always wanted to do might not suit the desires/needs of who I am now as a person. I mean how long ago is "always"? At various stages of youth I wanted to be astronaut, fireman, policeman, doctor, boxer... during adolescence other things before realising as an adult what I'm good at, what I enjoy and what I REALLY want from life. Things I might not have known before.

I know very few people who've had ONE sole dream since they were young that overwhelmed everything and fewer still who made it happen.

What I mean isn't settling for what you can get as a secondary option but action a more evolved process. How could 5 year old Watcher possibly know about what 40 year old watcher may be like or what shaped him? You learn and dreams change. As long as the dream is still something that stretching your possibilities I think that's cool.

very true DM. i don't know of anyone who is doing what they had wanted to do since childhood. I wanted to be writier from the age of 7 right up to about 22, so a long time. Now i never even pick up a pen.

I think its the periods you go through of either not knowing what you want, or working at something you hate that are the worst because you can't help but feel like everyone else is doing a million times better than you and feeling like you are worthless for not having your life together.

But as you say, its all part of a normal process. Its not just about finding out what you want to do but finding out who you are (and in some cases, who you are not lol)

Madam Butterfly wrote: damn right!! lol