facetygal - no man at all? you haven't met the right gigolo yet

Here's some eye opening reads for you...

Woman and Money Home

Why are women so selfish? - Yahoo! Answers

@ Incognito

You never read me last thread good, me seh is YOU me waiting for.

Them links don't apply to me. For a start I'm not a selfish person, I'm too damn giving for my own good. A next ting is whoever I marry I will make sure we on the same page when it comes to running the household and finances. No subject will be taboo, me and my boo will have to be able to talk about anything and everything, then start putting it into action before we even think about marriage.

facetygal - a hustler will be whatever you want them to be as part of their hidden agenda. Man got two more brothas going through the mill, what is it with women and money, so many relationships going pear shaped with brothas saying these women can't see anything beyond money and raising children to be uncultured.

Close bredrin has two daughters who mean absolutely everything to him...babymother is one of those like mine who runs competetion in the yard instead of cooking some porrige, pays bills to show she's equal as opposed to because the children need gas and electricity, tels him he should be cooking when and cleaning and not for nuturing or hygiene reasons simply on some equality flex.

I warned him he has no legal rights to his girls so might find himself having to bow under his babymothers battyhole but he's a fiery man, he'd go prison before losing his daughters. And you know he's broke, spent all his corm on the kids he looks like losing while babymother had her finances under lock and key....almost in anticipation of the day she tries to kick him out.

another bro told me the laws have changed where he now has to finance his children as long as the children are in full time education. 1st daughter is in her early 20's got a year or two left in Uni and you know the ex wife (babymother) intends the second daughter satys in full time education just to secure the roof my man is paying for to keep her, his keeps and her new punk out of the rain. He's asking the authorities why he can't put the money in some bank account for his daughters but it's deaf ears business.

I told him he's good, none of these hustlers are holding me like that. I tell you it's a form of whoring by women who think they are too good or too smart to become escort girls, sleep their way to the top or hook on the streets.

Still, but you're getting married though...a fantasy or pipedream can be anything you want it to be. It's why men like mysterious women, it's so they can create an impression of what they want that woman to be only for reality to lick them for six taking their kids with it.

Long queue sis...went to one potential wifes yard for the first time and saw over 40 handbags and loads and loads of shoes...put me right off..she's all telling me now that I've made her see the errors of her ways but now I'm thinking is she just saying anything to become my African Queen lol.

Smart Women Marry for Money, and Here’s Why - Consumerism Commentary: A Personal Finance Blog

No mention of culture mind you...but some good comments..

@ Incognito

I'm not the type of woman to be on that flex. I will do what I gotta do to keep the houshold runnin smooth and my kids well looked after, but man has to step up to the plate same way as me. It's not about runnin competition or living independent life and only callin pon my man when it's absolutely necessary, better me be single in that case. I shouldn't have to tell my man what to do, he should already know what needs doing and act accordingly, and vice versa with me. It's about team work and supporting each other which is something I strongly believe in.

You wanna call out the hard done by brothas and thats cool, but what about women who have no choice but to do everyting because their man is too bloodclart wotless? What if women have no choice but to be independent cos they can't rely on their man to contribute to the kids, the house, the finances? You can't even trust the man to go supermarket and do a decent shop, he comes back with biscuits and cake and oven food. But if the woman decide to chuck him out she's in the wrong cos she's splitting up the family, separating him from his kids. And if she lets him stay she's an idiot yeah? What would u say to women in that dilemma?

Potential wife huh? Alright so ur passin up the juicy breasts and tender thighs for bones and scraps. Ahh and look at that I was gonna surprise u with my locs, never mind. NEXT!

I recall once I was working in a place and I thought everyeone was getting paid the same...I happened to make a comment and that comment developed and it turned out I was earning x amount more than the person I was speaking to. I should have been warned when I saw the screw up face technique this person started to display.
I thought it was no big deal but this person went straight to the line manager and started complaining about how we do a similar job, etc, etc (a fellow black girl I might add). Anyhoo, in the end the line manager told her some story about how it was an oversight that I was getting paid this amount and they would change this immediately and then called me to the side and advised me to keep salary info under my hat at all costs.

There are some companies for which discussing salaries is an instant disciplinary...this is because some people will enter into negotiations from the start and may negotiate a more attractive package than the next person.

@facetygal: LMAO Sis you too bad! I agree about the teamwork. It makes things much easier to handle and keeps the stress down. Sounds likr you have a plan

@Incognito: This piece had me rollin about the cakes and biscuits. A friend of mine has this dilemma. I usually suggest that she show him how to shop when they are together rather than expect him to know what to buy or how much he could get with a budget, then cuss him for not doing it right LOL. It may sound strange but sometimes we assume that everyone has the same life skills as us and hearing this dilemma I can see how it would be frustrating for the woman because obviously finance is important. The pressure of having to maintain everything with little money is bound to affect any relationship but many women prefer to go and get a job and then build on that to provide for their family with their other halves or on their own. A harsh reality but in this day and time where breaking up seems to be a given, it would be wise for women to keep being breadwinners aswell.

...and about the article...Why are women so selfish? Is not the man who doesn't want to do these things for his woman the one who is being selfish?? Most of the things on the list are nice things to give and receive. We can have a habit of not realizing the benefits of doing just a few things for each other that can make a big difference to the way we could work together. The poster just sounds vex because he has to pull his weight more LOL.

Maat - all I know is my boys are kings. If they visit me I have to cook them a fresh non-processed food meal, this is the standard I expect everyday. If they visit they sleep in the master bedroom, I take their bunk bed, them boys are royalty

This is where my babymother had a conflict in interest. She had to learn but wasn't humble enough to admit it, had to learn but this clashed with her independent babymother attitude of never asking a man for anything, she had to learn but would rather go out a road and ask men she considered wotliss as opposed to be seen to 'begging' the man she had children for and the man she 'begged' to marry, she had to learn but in her babymother stupor would defend all kinds of nastiness which were wrong as right. After all, why should she "beg", she has her own job doesn't she

Funny, in some arguments she would say I used to have certain ways which I learned from and put right so why can't I give others the time to learn yet when you pulled her up on a particular objection she'd defend it. It was like she couldn't be seen to be lower and would defend all kinds of wotlissness in her attempts to be seen as equal. That mofo was my competition not my companion. We were together 7 years before the first child was born and in all that time I was simply a resource to secure her independence, a sperm donor with a bank account.

There was also a lot of talk about how I talk to people, believe me you don't expect to be 'teaching' big independent people things you expect to be teaching your children....I mean what was you doing in your parents yard for 25 years - beauty sleeping or something!! But that's the key word here, independent, it means you don't have to learn because you've got your own job. Proper dim I tell you.

All I will say is a man grafts for his family a woman grafts to secure her independence so believe me i agree with you on this 'breaking up' being inevitable vibe. A babymother dare I say any person with no values actually expects this and everything they do is based around it which is the only reason why my ex asked me to marry her. After 7 years and for values of my own (wed-lock etc) I gave her the benefit of the doubt that this was down to consciousness as opposed to babymotherism but alas it was babymotherism. I praise jah that I was wise enough not to give her the ring.

These mofo's are hustlers trying to be smart without being clever. They look at your values and think you're an ar$ehole and define what a dad is by their low class survival mentality. Indeed ask them what they contributed to the relationship and everything involved spending some money. They have no value system because money bails them out everytime and so will sell you and the children out to the lowest bidder and in defence of their face are the first to talk about wotliss or absent men.

You're there thinking your providing for your family and you've got these babymothers living in the yard like they're simply using it as a base to carry out and live their own private independent agenda. When she told babylon that she has money to buy me out my first question was how comes this buy out money was never seen before the divorce and put into the family kitty. Even the divorce simply meant someone was going to put a weight of money in her hand without her having to beg for it. These people are so far up their own independent arse they don't know the difference between begging and asking. Cheeky monkey.

@ Maat

After 20+ years my dad should know how to do food shoppin by himself. I mean a simple ting like checking the fridges and cupboards before he leave the house would be a good start, so he's not duplicating what we already have. Tidying the house is a next issue. If he was left alone in the house for a wk he'd be playin dominoes, drinkin liquor and smokin with the cockroaches, foxes and rats that decided to stop by. They would be his new best friends, flippin disgusting. Damn don't even get me started. Nope I've already seen what I'm lookin for in my husband, and it sure as hell ain't someone like dat!

No if my husband turns out like that, I'd have to seriously ask God what I did in my life that was so bad cos that would be 'testing' of the highest proportions.