You have to communicate to the child without tone of voice. Communicate without cursing. Communicate without talking down to the child. Explain, so he can understand and know the reason behind your decisions at all times.

http://www.rtbpms.com/blackchildgoingbadonyou.html

They should also be kept away from gangs.

It is simply about exposing them to what is right (as you know it). The language that you use is important and the example you set before them.

You can not set your self to being their friend. You are the parent and there will be lots of time where they will not only disagree with your decisions but want to strangle you.

I told mine face to face often that if they ended up hating me that I was gonna do what needed to be done as a parent no matter.

I have one in prison now but he has thanked me for what I told him and admitted that had he listened and obeyed that his life would be different.

They are bombarded with outside influenced today.

"You can not set your self to being their friend. You are the parent and there will be lots of time where they will not only disagree with your decisions but want to strangle you."


Bro mekmiknow!

One cannot be friend, on parents, at the same time. That is what I say, but in real time, that is not what I mean. I am talking about, being a parents that the children can come to with their problems.

I am not talking about friends in the extreme. Like we went out with a girls last night, then we would relate to our friends how her body sound, and what happen. Not being a friend in that kind of way.

Thanks for your wisdom in this.

Alabamagirl! Thanks for your imput.

You're welcome.

Yes Alabamagirl. Gangs are one of the worst things in our community.

Bro. James, my post was not at all aimed at anything you said. It was from the heart of experience in seeing and counseling with others.

it was not so when i was a child, we knew our place and kept to it. but now a day parents think that they can bribe or be likable to there kids and that it will cause them to obey them.

children are prone to try adults to see what their limitations are. you set it and at some point they will try and make you lower the standard in most cases. don't know many kids who will ask their parents to make the curfew hour sooner than later.

As you said bro. James you have to establish a line of communications with them. sometimes it is easy and sometimes it is very difficult for various reasons. but it needs be established right early in their lives or you will be shouting forever.

Down below this room a young lady mentioned that she was very happy not having children and not planning to have any. lots of people got on her. although I believe that the first commandment God gave to mankind was to procreate, I also believe that it is a good thing for a person to be honest and if they do not want to deal with kids not do it for the sake of doing it.

Any one who has raised kids know that it takes time and the patience of Job to rear kids.

My son is in prison tonight for selling crack cocaine. He has been in for almost two years and has one more. He told me not long ago that lying to me was the most difficult thing. I love my son and will be there for him when he is retired from prison. I will help him get on his feet as I do many other young men that I contact in my prison ministry which I was doing years before my son was incarcerated.

Keep on keeping on!!!!

My wife and I have three children together. Two already has their masters, in their field of work and one has her bachelor. The youngest one 24 buy her own house already. Black children can come out good, every one of them. If the parent start the training early. One of the secret is to give them ambitions. Once the ambition concept sink in most of your work is over.

All I did was jump on them early. I employed private tutors after school. $20 per hours in those days. I was never a beater. I hit the older girl one time. Little before she got married, my self on her got into a pushing match. The smallest girl was hit one time and gets an apology; the son was hit one time. All the techniques I mention were what I did.

I know! It could be an up hill battle. However, you have to jump on them early. To prevent them from falling into bad company, I bug my own phone. I have to know who is calling my children. Any time the phone was picked up, a computer, turn on a tape recorder.

My children could go into my wallet and take whatsoever money they need without hiding when doing so. “You need money! Take it from my wallet”

mekmeknow!


I am sorry to learn about your son mekmeknow. However, when he come out I pray that he could use his experience to turn around the life of others.

Oh I am sure he will. He is in work release now. He knew better and had to pay the consequences.

If you have something on prison or incarceration in general, post it. I have on several occasions taken you work for some to read.

have not had a chance to jump on this one yet but assuridly I will.

God bless you...

Mekmeknow! I did prisonministry for some 4 years. I had a link here on my site that deal with prison ministry. When I find it I will put it up.

Work release is good. From here on he can make his way back into society.

The lord's blessing be upon him.