One of the things I like about the English.....I am one....they can laugh at themselves.

Enjoy.....

Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog?
A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.

Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.


Oxo were going to bring out a Euro 2004 Commemorative cube painted red,
white and blue in honour of the England squad. But it was a laughing stock
and crumbled in the box.


Q: Why do English make better lovers than Portugese/Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 45 Minutes and
still come second!


Q: What is common between between a 3 pin plug and the England football
team?
A: They are both useless in Europe!


Q: What's the difference between O J Simpson and England?
A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence


Rumours that David Beckham was seen successfully seducing a young woman in a
Spanish nightclub with a one-liner have been completely refuted by the
English FA. Adam Crozier, chief publicity officer stated: "I find it totally
preposterous to suggest that one of our players could make a successful pass
to or at anyone."

Q. What's the difference between the English and a jet engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.

Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and Jimmy
Hill.You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot Jimmy Hill - twice.

Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead English
football fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q. What do English football fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q. If you see an English football fan on a bicycle, why should you never
swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle.

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break.
The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you
open them up everything inside them is numbered."
The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside
them is in alphabetical order."
Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is
colour-coded."
The fourth one says, "I prefer English football fans.
They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are
interchangeable."

Did you hear about the UK politician who was found dead in an English
football jersey?
The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his
family from the embarrassment.


Q.What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to their
necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

@ MBD's : Hmmm, cha, R wah de raass..Bring it..!!

GONER'S girl GONER'S..Come on LIVERPOOL..!! :P

wotsits18 wrote: Come on Liverpool where? you need to sit down and behave...they are utter crap and even bringing in a new manager aint goner change that..by the way what happened to the currupt money from Thailand eh?

@ Kunjufu : Seen so you get bright now..!! As ok as the Inspector was, he lost his way abit & so the new blood of (Benny, Miss Diane) Benitez should be a good thing for England's finest..

You want to talk about corrupt, cha look @ your own home re : George Graham, so you best go look for that chair my friend & rest yourself..!!

Come on LIVERPOOL..!!

Oi Mr Liverpool..you will note that Arsenal sacked his arse when they found out...Arsenal didn't look to take corrupt foriegn investment did we... Is that the same Benitez who can't speak English properly..

COME ON LIVERPOOL

JUFFY u know ur scared of the new look liverpool or what will be the new look by the time the season starts. But I ain't saying nothing till then.....

So all you LIVERPOOL haters DO ONE.......

well till the season starts

@ Kunjufu : You see my friend DEFENCE..!! Dont butt in now Ashanti..No doubt your No: 1 striker "MBD"will have more than a comment to make..!! :P

@ My Thoughts : niceone.gif

@ wotsits18

You're asking for it my friendsmoking-devil....and by the way beautitiful game and ugly socks, don't go together in case you didn't know.:Pniceone.gif

@ wotsits18

Brother I'm in this thread because you invited me, LOL! I saw your comment and you knew I would take the bait, ha!, ha!, ha!

so thanks for allowing meto disrupt this conversation about the fake version, hee!, hee!, hee! It's my pleasure.banana.gif

Oh and don't act like you don't know what the purpose is for those tight pants, I told you already...and yep they make for great eye-candy too for us ladies.smoking-devil

@ Ashanti : Hun invite'n you is my pleasure..No hun you wont corrupt, (whats with you & Kunjufu & that word 2nite), you'll just learn..niceone.gif

Aha & you talk about us men, cha..!!Eye candy..